How to Deal with Your Frenemy!
Written by Aysha Ives | May 16, 2011
So, you’ve recently concluded that your friend is showing the telltale signs of actually being a frenemy.
What’s the best way to deal with this person?
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32
The Bible says to love your enemy even if she seems unlovable at times. Showing kindness and empathy toward people who are mean to you is a tough responsibility, but keep in mind that people who mistreat others are often hurting in some ways themselves. Unfortunately they don’t know how to properly resolve their own issues and end up taking their problems out on other people.
The good news is that God may be using you as a role model to help her develop into a better person! Continue to be kind and loving toward your frenemy because you never know what’s going on inside of her. Your kindness may actually help bring her closer to God. So, don’t make your frenemy an outcast by gossiping or spreading rumors about her in revenge. God will deal with her heart in His own way and in His own time.
Remember, loving your frenemy doesn’t mean allowing her to constantly hurt you. You can love her without condoning her behavior. Being cordial and friendly doesn’t necessarily mean spending a lot of time with her. You can say hello in the hallways without inviting her over after school. Share a funny joke with her but reconsider pouring out your deepest secrets.
Learn to be kind while drawing limits. It’s not okay for anyone to mistreat you. God’s desire is for you to be healthy and happy so surround yourself with positive people who are truly worthy of your friendship.
Unfortunately, at some point in our lives we will encounter fremenies, because girls can be catty often. Even right now, believe it or not, I have some ‘frenemies.’ Some are girls that I was once friends with, but I no longer associate with because they have either talked bad about me behind my back, or mocked my Christian belief. I definitely don’t choose to hang out with them, but I’m not mean to them either.
Remember- you are above her petty gossip, and the reason she might be mean to you is because she’s jealous of you! Take the higher road and don’t associate with her anymore- you’ll be happy you did so, I promise! What are some things your frenemy is doing now to hurt you? I might be able to help! -Nicole