Catch Nicole in Catching Faith 2 now on DVD and streaming, buy your copy here!

Catch Nicole in Catching Faith 2 now on DVD and streaming, buy your copy now!

  • Films
  • About Nicole
  • Press

    How to Forgive Others When It’s Not Easy

    By Rebekah Hargraves

    Sometimes I think the hardest thing the Lord calls us to do is to forgive others. When we might feel like letting the other person have it, or entertain feelings of bitterness and anger, it feels counterintuitive to forgive them instead. The reality, though, is that as Christ-followers, we have been tasked with the responsibility of forgiving “our debtors” (Matthew 6:12).

    How do we do this, though? Especially when it feels impossible? How do we forgive when we have been abused at the hand of another person? Or when we have been abandoned? How do we forgive the bully who has spit venomous words at us that are hard to get out of our minds?

    There are three helpful truths to remember when we are attempting to extend forgiveness, even in the hardest of situations.


    1. Remember how much you have been forgiven.

    Often the biggest stumbling block in our ability to forgive others is our pride. After all, we are the victim here, right? Why should we have to humble ourselves and forgive the other person? How can we do that if they alone are in the wrong?

    Humbly remembering all our gracious God has forgiven us of is an incredible help here. Micah 7:18-19 says: “Who is a God like You, pardoning iniquity and passing over the transgression of the remnant of His heritage? He does not retain His anger forever, because He delights in mercy. He will again have compassion on us, and will subdue our iniquities. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea.”

    Our holy, righteous God loves us so much that He was able to forgive the sins of  you and me. Every time I’ve been the one to issue the harsh word—all washed away. Every time I’ve been the one to hurt another person—all washed away. Every time I’ve sinned against someone else—all washed away. With God’s amazing grace and forgiveness in mind, we can extend forgiveness to others even when it isn’t easy.


    2. Remember forgiveness is not about excusing the behavior; it’s about freeing yourself.

    Another roadblock on the path to forgiveness, is feeling that in order to forgive someone who sinned against us- is to excuse the behavior entirely. I once believed this when someone very close to me betrayed my trust and had done something very hurtful in secret. But forgiveness is not about excusing sinful behavior.

    Forgiveness is about loving the other person and exemplifying Christ to them. It’s also about freeing you from the bitterness, anger and hurt that come from harboring unforgiveness in your heart. It has been said that forgiveness is more about our well-being than it is the well-being of the person who hurt us. The reason for this is that the person who wronged us is often living their life free as a bird, either not even realizing they hurt us or realizing it and not caring a thing about it. Meanwhile, we are left stewing over what was done to us.

    When we choose to let the pain, hurt, anger and bitterness go, however, we are the ones who are freed. This is how even abuse victims are able to forgive their attackers. Because it isn’t that the behavior is excused; it’s that the victim is freed from the anger and hurt it caused. Remembering this can make it a lot easier to extend forgiveness to others.


    3. Remember you can’t do it in your own strength—walk by the Spirit and pray for a soft heart.

    As much as we may try to muster up within ourselves the ability to forgive someone, the truth is that we really can’t do it all on our own. Especially when the hurt and anger run deep! On my own, I often want to rail against the offender and what they did to me. This is why we have to walk by the Spirit, leaning on Him, acting out of His strength and praying for a softened heart toward the person who wronged us. It is then and only then that we will be fully able to forgive, even when it isn’t easy to do so.

    Nicole Weider is a Salem, Oregon native who moved to Los Angeles and quickly found success as a fashion model at the age of 17. Today, Nicole is an active wife, mom, producer, actress and author and has made it her mission to share her personal story, the bright moments and the challenges, with young women around the world.

    Project Inspired

    We here at Project Inspired want to guide and inspire teen girls to be true to themselves and to God. We want to show young girls how to be people of value and confidence – how to be your own best selves – through leading a Christian life. Who are we? We're a team of girls, like you. We edit the site, we post to social media, we hang out in the chat rooms and forums. We talk with you, we listen to you, and we love you!

    Read On

    How to Choose a Bible Study Plan That Fits YOU!

    You want to read the Bible – but where do you start? Sixty six individual books are contained between its covers, some of which...

    Kirk Cameron Launches 30-Day Prayer Challenge To ‘Send Fear Running’ Amidst the Quarantine

    Late last week, film producer and actor Kirk Cameron challenged believers to participate in a 30-day prayer challenge called "30 Faith Strong" in order...

    5 Tips for Finishing Strong This Semester

    Midterms and spring break are in the rearview mirror: You’re in the home stretch! As summer comes closer, it’s easy to stop caring about...

    10 Signs It’s Time to Take a Leap of Faith

    But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more...

    5 Character Qualities You Need for Marriage

    For many young women, marriage isn’t even on the radar until high school and college are complete and their career is underway. So why...


    Stay connected with Project Inspired.