It’s never comfortable to get into a fight with someone, whether it’s a friend, boyfriend, or parent. Here are four tips to remember when you can feel yourself getting heated!
1. Keep your composure– When someone is trying to irritate you, it only furthers their motivation to be mean if you visibly act upset. So try to take deep breaths, and remember to keep your cool and try to divert the situation.
2. Be ready– One of the most effective ways to handle your own in a confrontation, is to be prepared with what you’re disputing over. If you know what you’re talking about, you won’t be caught off guard with the other person’s argument. Most of the time I try and make sure I know what I’m saying before I open my mouth!
3. Acknowledge what they’re saying- If you sincerely listen to the points they are mentioning, it will catch them off guard while at the same time helping them calm down and not riling them up anymore. They will appreciate that you are hearing them and in turn are more likely to hear what you have to say. If someone is disputing what I’m saying, I often say: “ I hear what you think about this, but I think differently.”
4. Get some distance- I like to separate myself for a short time when I’m confronted, it helps me re-evaluate the situation so I can see if it’s really worth fighting over or not. Nine times out of ten it’s not, and I’m usually glad I didn’t engage in the argument.
5. Write it down! Often when I feel a problem, I write it down in my journal and then decide whether or not it’s something important enough to bring up, or if my feelings subside once they’re down on paper. It’s an easy way to prevent fights, and makes you feel better right away!