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How to Handle a Conflict!

It’s never comfortable to get into a fight with someone, whether it’s a friend, boyfriend, or parent. Here are four tips to remember when you can feel yourself getting heated!

1. Keep your composure– When someone is trying to irritate you, it only furthers their motivation to be mean if you visibly act upset. So try to take deep breaths, and remember to keep your cool and try to divert the situation.

2. Be ready– One of the most effective ways to handle your own in a confrontation, is to be prepared with what you’re disputing over. If you know what you’re talking about, you won’t be caught off guard with the other person’s argument. Most of the time I try and make sure I know what I’m saying before I open my mouth!

3. Acknowledge what they’re saying- If you sincerely listen to the points they are mentioning, it will catch them off guard while at the same time helping them calm down and not riling them up anymore. They will appreciate that you are hearing them and in turn are more likely to hear what you have to say. If someone is disputing what I’m saying, I often say: “ I hear what you think about this, but I think differently.”

4. Get some distance- I like to separate myself for a short time when I’m confronted, it helps me re-evaluate the situation so I can see if it’s really worth fighting over or not. Nine times out of ten it’s not, and I’m usually glad I didn’t engage in the argument.

5. Write it down! Often when I feel a problem, I write it down in my journal and then decide whether or not it’s something important enough to bring up, or if my feelings subside once they’re down on paper. It’s an easy way to prevent fights, and makes you feel better right away!


Image: Corbis


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  1. Posted by on March 23, 2011 at 09:25

    I hate conflict too! These are great tips, I’m totally going to try to write things down more.

  2. Posted by on March 2, 2011 at 08:52

    I like to try to insert some humor. For example if a friend and I have a problem I try to make her laugh and that usually works. Or I use like total love you know? When my sister and I get in an argument sometimes I turn to her and say something like “You were great in the school play” or “You really are the BEST sister” just like that! And sometimes it doesn’t work but sometimes it totally does.

  3. Posted by on March 1, 2011 at 21:50

    Thanks for sharing!! great ideas!!

  4. Posted by on March 1, 2011 at 21:49

    I try to just keep my cool when someone starts a confrontation with me, it’s so easy to get upset right away!

  5. Posted by on March 1, 2011 at 21:47

    I especially love number 5, I’ll definitely try these tips- thanks!