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Love

How to Know When It’s Time to Move on From Your Crush

Be strong, and let your heart be courageous, all you who put your hope in the LORD. (Psalm 31:24)

 

I think many people fail to understand how emotionally invested teen girls and young 20-somethings are when it comes to dating. Simply forgetting about a guy isn’t so easy to do, depending on how long you’ve liked him or how close you two have been. I’ve had crushes that ranged from a few weeks up to a few years. I’m talking a “Dear Diary, my heart is breaking! Why doesn’t he like me?” type of thing. I’m sure we’ve all been there.

Although I don’t personally believe dating is necessary until you’re entering a life stage where you are marriage-minded, I know most of you are hoping to have a relationship soon. I’d like to share some tips on who to avoid in the meantime. I’ll also briefly describe what you can do to get through the tough task of moving on.

Here are five guys who are no longer worth your time:

1. The guy who only wants to be friends…with benefits. I’ve heard this scenario time and time again. He likes you, but not enough to make it official. Being physically intimate with someone isn’t something you can just turn on and off without feelings attached. I know as women, we tend to fall harder for a guy once we’ve taken our friendship to the next level. If he isn’t serious about being committed to you, it’s simply not fair to your tender heart. Even if you tell yourself that something is better than nothing, a small voice will constantly remind you that you deserve better.

2. The guy who only likes the “hot” girls. Be wary of young men who seem to only go after low-cut tops and short skirts. Most likely he is searching for a girl who’s willing to do some things that you aren’t. You may start to get jealous and find yourself looking through your wardrobe for your most form-fitting clothes to get his attention. Changing yourself to be like someone else is a warning sign. Anyone fortunate enough to call you his girlfriend should like you for who you are.

 

A tranquil heart is life to the body, but jealousy is rottenness to the bones. (Proverbs 14:30)

 

3. The guy who never admitted feelings toward you. You can usually tell he’s into you because most guys will make it obvious. Even if he doesn’t tell you, his friends might let it slip in hopes that you feel the same way. I’ve known many girls who waited so long and read into every encounter they had with a guy trying to figure out if he even liked her. If you have to put on a detective hat and search for clues, most likely the guy you’re crushing on doesn’t see you as his future girlfriend.

4. The guy who is coming between you and your friend. It’s not that uncommon to find out that one of your friends likes the same guy as you do. This might even lead to arguments and cause division among the two of you. When I was in situations like this, I liked to keep things as uncomplicated as possible. If I had a friend who liked the same guy that I did, I would take it upon myself to stop pursuing him. My friendships were always more important…and there are so many other guys out there!

 

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. (Philippians 2:3)

 

5. The guy who has a girlfriend. Even if he didn’t have a girlfriend when you started liking him, it’s still heartbreaking to see him suddenly holding hands with another girl. If he’s unavailable, it’s definitely time to let that crush go. Respect their relationship enough to turn off any flirting you may have been accustomed to doing when he was single.

Moving on is the hardest part, and it’s important to confide in friends and adults who will take your feelings seriously. You may need a shoulder to cry on, a great book to read to take your mind off of him or even a hangout session with your friends when you need a good laugh. You can also pray to God to help take the feelings away so that it hurts less. I’ve done that, and it works!

Are there any things I missed? I’d love to hear your advice as well.

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13 Comments

  1. jcsalmons19

    Posted by jcsalmons19 on October 20, 2015 at 20:02

    I really needed this. I’ve liked the same guy for close to 5 years now. I know that sounds like a crazy long time for a crush, but I grew up with this guy because we go to the same church. Since he’s only a year older than me, most of the time we were in the same Sunday School classes or VBS groups. In the past couple of years, he’s changed and started drifting away from God. He has began drinking and partying. I’m trying so hard to get over him, and have been trying for a year and a half or so. Every time I get almost over him, he’ll come to church and seem like he’s drawing closer to God again, only to party later during the week. Prayers for me to get over him and and prayers for him to stop drinking are much appreciated. God bless y’all!

  2. Project Inspired

    Posted by Runner_with_endurance on October 13, 2015 at 16:48

    I think this an awesome topic to start talking about, because a lot of the time we invest more than we think into “harmless” crushes. To know when and why to walk away has been very helpful.😊

    • Kytia Lamour

      Posted by Kytia Lamour on October 20, 2015 at 15:21

      Thank you so much for reading and giving great feedback. I’m so glad this was helpful to you.

  3. Hisprincess

    Posted by Hisprincess on September 25, 2015 at 20:10

    This was awesome:) Could you do an article talking about moving on from a guy for situations 3 and 4?

    • Kytia Lamour

      Posted by Kytia Lamour on October 20, 2015 at 15:22

      You got it. We will be posting another article specifically about sharing a crush with your BFF this month. Stay tuned!

  4. USGIRL95

    Posted by USGIRL95 on September 21, 2015 at 17:34

    The Lord ‘ll find you the rite guy in his timing!! there re guys that re preying, for us as girls + young woman.,

    • Kytia Lamour

      Posted by Kytia Lamour on October 20, 2015 at 15:23

      Amen. God’s best for you is always better than what you can imagine. I can attest to that. And His timing is perfect.

  5. LoveOnFire

    Posted by LoveOnFire on September 21, 2015 at 11:34

    I really needed this to be able to judge a current relationship. Thank you. 🙂

    • Kytia Lamour

      Posted by Kytia Lamour on October 20, 2015 at 15:24

      I’m so glad we were able to offer you some insight in a time when you need it the most. I’m praying that your situation turns out the way God wants it to. xoxoxo

  6. martial_artist_for_Jesus

    Posted by martial_artist_for_Jesus on September 19, 2015 at 18:47

    I needed this… especially numbers 1, 4, and 5. Thank you… it means more than you’ll ever know.

    • Kytia Lamour

      Posted by Kytia Lamour on October 20, 2015 at 15:26

      That means a lot to me. Thank you for letting us know how God is using us to speak into your life.

  7. Joshie-Marie

    Posted by Joshie-Marie on September 19, 2015 at 04:45

    This is a great article, and one I’ve really needed in the past. Me being me, I will probably need it in the future too. So this is a really great one. Thanks!

    • Kytia Lamour

      Posted by Kytia Lamour on October 20, 2015 at 15:27

      It’s definitely something we need to hear from time to time. Our judgment can often be clouded by our emotions. Thank you for reading and for joining the conversation.