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How to Not Lose Your Identity in Your Relationship

For many people, falling in love can be so wonderful, but for others it can be dangerous when they don’t know their calling and identity. Some young people lose themselves in their relationships and don’t know how to balance their career and callings with their love life. It’s important to maintain your independence and your faith while still loving those around you.


Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. (Proverbs 4:23)


If you fall too hard too quickly (especially for those of you who are younger and less experienced in romantic relationships), you can be blinded by love. You don’t want to invest your entire being into one aspect of life. We must learn that life is composed of family, friendships, faith, work, school, careers and ministries. Life is not just all about your boyfriend or who you will end up with. Romance is beautiful, and it’s not wrong to fall in love, but make sure you can still keep Christ first.


But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. (Matthew 6:33)


Many people forget the order of seeking God’s Kingdom FIRST, and then they end up either losing the relationship and are crushed or they forget their faith. We must guard our hearts against idolizing anything and anyone above God. We must be willing to lay down anything God asks us to, even if it means the world to us. Are you willing?


You must not make for yourself an idol of any kind or an image of anything in the heavens or on the earth or in the sea. (Exodus 20:4)


Let’s look at Abraham in the Bible. He awaited the promised son after years of not knowing it would manifest. When the promise finally came, God asked Abraham to lay down his son Isaac on the altar as a test of his heart for the Lord. Wow. Imagine how hard that must have been! His precious son, whom he so dearly loved, and God would ask to give him up? That is symbolic of God laying His one and only son on the altar, but is also a picture of how we should hold onto our promises (John 4:16). Let us surrender them to the full will of God, not compromising our inheritance or identity if it doesn’t go as we planned in life.


And Isaac said to his father Abraham, “My father!” And he said, “Here I am, my son.” He said, “Behold, the fire and the wood, but where is the lamb for a burnt offering?” Abraham said, “God will provide for himself the lamb for a burnt offering, my son.” So they went both of them together. (Genesis 22:7-8)


God wants us to enjoy the blessings of life and love, but let us always keep the main thing, the main thing. Let’s have Jesus and our God-given assignment first. Our identity is not in a relationship, but rather it is in being a daughter of the King, and following our calling and purpose in life. Let’s pray against being  sidetracked and for protection against getting off course.

PI Girls, do you ever feel like you get so invested in something or someone that you forget God? Have you ever questioned your faith because God took something from you? Has God restored all His promises to you or are you holding on your faith?

Image: Lightstock | Aimee Whitmire


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