How to Survive Homecoming When You Don’t Get Asked

    Rejection hurts. It hurts even more when it’s publicly displayed to everyone you know. Being the one not picked, on the outs or left behind sticks with you for years. You don’t forget that feeling.

    With the season of homecoming approaching, girls across America will identify with this feeling of “left behind.” When the guy you like doesn’t ask you out, or when he asks one of your friends, it’s like a punch in the emotional stomach. But believe it or not, you’re not alone in your feelings. Every girl—yes, even the “cool” ones—have times when they feel like not enough. This homecoming, remind yourself of these three things, regardless of who asks whom.


    1. Happy girls are the prettiest.

    I don’t mean this to incite comparison. Rather, I want you to remember your most beautiful feature: your joy! Even pretty girls lose their luster when they stop smiling. Don’t let fear, discouragement or envy steal your joy. Instead, fight back with joy! Make known to the world how happy you are to be alive and be loved in this world. Because you are loved—even if a teenage boy doesn’t recognize it. Happy girls beautify themselves and reveal strong character…character that will last far beyond homecoming dreams.


    2. God is walking through this with you.

    God cares about your burdens. He cares down to the utmost detail; the things even your friends don’t care about. He cares because He made you, and He wants a relationship with you. Being in a relationship with God means telling Him your feelings. Pour out your heart to Him before you turn to your friends. Only He can truly support you and guide you in this season (or any season, for that matter).

    God has promised to be present with us in every difficulty, but we like to amend His words. In our humanity, we limit God, saying: “God doesn’t care about my homecoming. He doesn’t care if I don’t get asked out.” But He does, and if you trust Him, you won’t feel so alone.


    3. God may be protecting you.

    Sometimes God doesn’t “let our dreams come true” and we don’t understand why. But here’s the truth: God can see much further than we can. We can’t see the trajectory our lives would take if He didn’t intervene. If you don’t get asked out by your dream guy, God could be protecting you. There may be something about that guy, or this homecoming, that you don’t know. Trust God’s love and wisdom! He is not arbitrary in His actions. He doesn’t say “no” for the fun of it. Everything God does is to bring us into greater spiritual maturity and a deeper walk with Him, but you’ll only attain those things if you embrace where He has you.

    It’s not easy being left behind. I know the feeling well—my high school years were riddled with it! But I can assure you that the sting of rejection fades as you press into the security Christ offers. Embrace your value, and you’ll have a confidence that goes deeper than your skin. You’ll reflect a joy that is more than happiness. And you’ll prove that you don’t need to get asked to homecoming to be the happiest girl in high school.


    4. Go with friends or create alternate plans! 

    Find some other girls (and even guys) who are going stag and create a group that will go together. There are no hard and fast rules that say you need a date. Or you can create other things to do that night. A movie/show watching party, volunteering, bowling, photo scavenger hunt – the possible are endless to make alternate memories. You might even have a better time than if you went with a guy!

    Phylicia Masonheimer
    Phylicia Masonheimer
    Phylicia Masonheimer is an author and speaker teaching women how to discern what is true, discuss the deep stuff, and accomplish God's will for their specific lives. She holds a B.S. in Religion from Liberty University, where she met her husband, Josh, and now lives in northern Michigan with her two daughters, Adeline and Geneva.

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