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    How You Can Be a Cool, Confident Christian Without the Pressure to Be Perfect!

    Since I started Project Inspired I’ve gotten great feedback and 90% of it has been positive and appreciative. Sometimes though I do get emails from girls, including some moms, criticizing me for doing something “unChristianly” and for being a bad role model. This is exactly what I’m fighting against. It’s my mission and purpose in life to provide a refreshing message you girls need to hear: That you CAN be a fun, happy girl that doesn’t have to sacrifice who you are in fear of criticism of  being  hurt and called “not being Christian enough.” I’m trying to get you girls to break barriers of what many other people think Christians should be. Because your love for God is strong and you try to be the best you can be, you do need to have high standards for living, have discernment against things that are sinful, so YOU can show other people that God is love and truth.

    Unfortunately, you may feel too much pressure from your parents or from other boys and girls your age to be “perfect” since you are a Christian. My mission is to tell you that you CAN be all of those things while still being a role model to your peers.

    I’m here to tell you that you CAN wear makeup, like to dress up in pretty dresses, and listen to music that’s not always Christian. You CAN be all of those things, and fully enjoy all life has to offer while still being a good person who loves God with all your heart. It’s not healthy to shelter yourselves completely from the real world that yes at times can be harsh, but we need to listen and perceive these things in order to help other people too see the light of God. It’s a spiritual battle out there, and we need to be prepared. Unfortunately many people are completely turning away from God and rebelling what their parents are teaching them, because they think that being labeled a Christian is too much pressure to be “perfect.” We all make mistakes; I even said a cuss word in the first Anti-Cosmo video because I was so passionate about the fight against the magazine. Did I make a mistake? Absolutely. But I can assure you God has forgiven me, just as He will for you. It’s okay to mess up once in a while, He loves you just the same and He’s a God of love and forgiveness. If you give it your best shot to live for Him, He knows your heart and motives. I want to leave you with this message:

    If you have to ban your child from looking at Project Inspired, which is tame and can offer you many positive messages in all facets of life, how can you shelter your girl from the real world? It’s sad because there’s a real void for young role models who live their lives for God and speak openly about it. Give your child a chance to learn for herself and to see all aspects of how living for God can be.

    I would love to hear what kind of pressure your peers give you since you are a Christian, or how you wish you could do certain things without being “sinful.” I can offer you some advice because I can assure you I’ve dealt with all of the hurtful comments from other people. Go out and be a warrior for God, because you ARE perfect in His eyes. God Bless.

    “For I will be merciful regarding their wrong deeds, and I will never again remember their sins.” Hebrews 8:12

    Nicole
    Nicole
    Nicole Weider is a Salem, Oregon native who moved to Los Angeles and quickly found success as a fashion model at the age of 17. Today, Nicole is an active wife, mom, producer, actress and author and has made it her mission to share her personal story, the bright moments and the challenges, with young women around the world.

    109 COMMENTS

    1. I loved this article! I hate when people expect you to be perfect just because your a christian. And if you mess up sometimes they look down on you. It’s so stupid. Just because we are Christians doesn’t mean we are perfect.

    2. Love it! But I have a question kind of off topic. Two friends and I want to start a blog (a small one) similar to this, I guess, but we can’t think of a name. Any suggestions? We feel like it’s something we should really do. Thanks 🙂

    3. i want to be confident so bad i get so insecure about peoples opinions that I just become shy and dont talk. Can everybody who reads this pray for me? I hate being insecure and i do feel pressure to be confident.

      • I’ll pray for you 🙂 I completely understand how u feel. People can be mean. I try to remember a quote that says “those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” their opinions are just opinions. They don’t know who you are and not everybody is going to like you but the opinions that matter the most are God’s.
        Hebrews 13:6 (NIV)
        So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?”
        I hope this helps you 🙂 I’ll pray for you. Do your best to be yourself because it’s no fun trying to make everybody happy!

    4. I am under a lot of presure to be perfect, and I feel like I’m breaking. My parents are not religous and my brother is not focused on God. I have a hard time getting to church (even though I love it, but my parents don’t bring me unless I pressure them and I feel bad bugging them.) I have a best friend who is Christian and her parents bring me to church but I feel wrong because they are busy and I feel like they shouldn’t have to put up with me, no matter how helpful I try to be. I find myself thinking about hurting and pain… I don’t know what to do 🙁

      • When I feel like this my teen leader tells me that when it comes to your faith and your own relationship with God then you should be a little selfish. Selfish in a way that u want to go be with God whatever it takes and selfish in a way that u want to have more time with Him. I would think your Christian friend and her family her family should be happy to take you and know that they are helping to bring another person into the kingdom of God. I feel like it should be fine for you because your heart and mind are in the right place. And don’t worry about perfection to the world only to God. He will never ever leave you and He will understand that you arent perfect all the time. He knows how hard u r trying

    5. I try to do my best to lead a better life, despite it is very difficult at times and I do perhaps cuss and so on time to time. . My peers constantly laugh at me at school because I do not drink, smoke, have a boyfriend, date, do drugs or even party. So I am always called ‘naive’. I guess many other girls feel the same way:( But this article is so inspiring:) Thank you for helping me:)

      • of course! Try not to listen to those people, they are just pressuring you to do those bad things because they feel guilty for doing them themselves! Trust me, it’s true. You are going on the higer path, the righteous path, and they wish they had the courage to go against the grain. I will be praying for you, I love you and God does too!

    6. I agree! We’re not perfect, but the one who lives in us is 🙂
      God bless you Nicole! You really helped me get through a lot of problems thanks to God. We’ll be behind you 100%.
      I remember there was a quot it said, “Where there is lovers, there are haters” and “Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them more.” hehe 😛

    7. Wow! This is powerful! But one of the things that I often wonder about is where to draw the line between being a “cool” Christian and being of the world… For example: clothes. I enjoy having my own style and keeping up with some of the current fashions, but one must of course face the realization that many trends nowadays are rather immodest. For example, I bought one of the “bodycon” skirts from Forever 21 with a cute flower print. My problem is… I’m not exactly sure for what reason I bought it. I want to tell myself that I bought it because it was cute, but I think it’s also because it’s “the style.” I think God’s telling me that I shouldn’t wear it… because my reasons are wrong. Advice? I guess one thing I struggle with is telling the difference between being a “cool” Christian and trying to blend in.

    8. Thanks for writing this! People are always calling me out when I mess up on one little thing, even if they do the same thing I did everyday! Because I’m a Christian, they expect me to be a perfect little angel. But now I know that it’s okay to make a mistake every once in a while.

    9. Thank you so much for this article. Sometime I feel I can’t tell people about God because they will look at me and say “How can I listen to you when you did this, this, and this??”. Thank Nicole.

    10. Nicole, I think you are a great witness for Christ, and a gift to all of us who struggle with self-image and need a second opinion of moral issues. You are a blessing to the world, and we are VERY glad you created this website!

    11. Man I love this article……I grew up in a Christian home, were we were labeled the “perfect” family. We were NEVER the perfect family…..my parents eventually separated, and I felt like I had to be perfect for my family’s sake. Let me say, I had a breakdown and I found out I was very human. I tried to hide the pain, everything. It didn’t work. Right now…..I’m finding out that God doesn’t expect perfection. I don’t have to hide everything before him.

    Project Inspired

    We here at Project Inspired want to guide and inspire teen girls to be true to themselves and to God. We want to show young girls how to be people of value and confidence – how to be your own best selves – through leading a Christian life. Who are we? We're a team of girls, like you. We edit the site, we post to social media, we hang out in the chat rooms and forums. We talk with you, we listen to you, and we love you!

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