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    I Can’t Wait to Be a Wife and Mother, But the Guy I Like is Very Shy! Now What?

    Hi. I am a 21 year old young woman. I admire this young man whose 26. He is a very very godly guy but see, he’s very shy. I want to be patient and wait for Gods plan, its extremely difficult when I want to be a house wife and mother. Please I need scripture to help reassure me I am doing what’s right and what Gods best is. Thanks.

    Man, this can be annoying. I’m guessing that you’re feeling that you’re ready to marry and be a mom, so bring on the guy, right? But wait!

    When reading your question, I got two things from it: that you like a shy guy and that you are ready to be a house wife and mother. Well, my fear is that the latter may ruin the former. Why? Because your impatience may cause you to just pick any guy, and not the guy for you.

    If you’re looking for scripture to keep you on your path of patience, how about Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Imagine that! God intends for all of us to have a good life. So, if we want that good life, full of hope, then allow God’s plan to guide you, not your desire to get married and have children. You need to follow His plan, not yours.

    So here’s what I think you should do:

    1. Offer to do something on a casual basis so that the two of you get to know more about each other’s interests and strength of faith. But don’t make it a date. Maybe arrange for  a group of friends to hang out. I’m not trying to encourage you to initiate a relationship, but rather, give him an opportunity to acknowledge you.
    2. Take your time. You’re only 21 so you have time. If you finally get to spend time with this person, learn about him, don’t just try to get closer to him. Find out as much about him as possible. Find out if you would really like to be his wife and have him as your husband. How would he be as a father? How would he be as a bread winner? But more than all of this, find out if the two of you can bring each other and your children closer to God. You have a whole life to spend with your spouse, so don’t rush into finding someone. Take your time to find the right one.
    3. Don’t focus so much on your desire to be a house wife and mother, but more on ensuring that you find the right person. That’s the first step and the more important one. You can be a wife to anyone, but your whole life is affected by the person you end up with. So, focus on the right person.
    4. Pray for patience. Impatience breeds frustration and all the negative emotions that will lead you to make rash decisions that could result in the opposite of God’s plan for your welfare.

    Good luck and God bless!

    Need some advice? Ask your relationship questions in the Ask Olivia Girl Talk forum or in the comments below and I might answer them in a future article!

    Ask Olivia
    Got a question about boys, your besties or God? I'm here to help! As the girl all my friends always came to for advice, I've turned my girl talk, level-headedness and love of Jesus into a job -- one I love because I was a teen not long ago, too! Click into Ask Olivia in our Girl Talk Forums to ask me a question!


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