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    I Dislike the Bible Study Teacher, Now What?

    When we dislike people in our lives, it’s often because they’ve said or done something to hurt us.

    Think about it: every person who’s made it onto your “dislike” list has probably wronged you in some way. Whether it’s the girl down the street who’s now dating your ex-boyfriend, the boy in your homeroom class who’s always talking about you or the teacher who’s always ridiculing you, the experience of disliking someone usually stems from the fact that this person mistreated you in some way.

    As young people, you expect more from adults. You expect that the adults in your life will try to meet your needs. Unfortunately, because no one is perfect, grownups will also sometimes fall short of your expectations. However, you might find it difficult to talk to adults about the things that they’ve said or done to hurt you. Instead you experience disappointment or anger about the situation and you eventually grow to dislike them.

    What we don’t realize is our responsibility to LET PEOPLE KNOW. If anyone has unintentionally hurt you in any way, you need to make them aware of what occurred so they can make amends. Likewise, if they intentionally mistreated you, hold that person accountable for what they did!

    If you’re in a position where you’ve been hurt by a church leader (your Bible Study Leader for example), and you don’t feel comfortable talking to him or her alone, share your concerns with another trusted adult. Talk to your parents or another church leader with whom you feel safe. Together you can bring your concerns to the Bible Study Leader so that the issue can be resolved.

    Do to others as you would have them do to you (Luke 6:31.)

    It’s essential to go to the person who has wronged you in a spirit of love, as God commands us to  Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8.) Conflict is difficult for anyone, but no matter how angry you are with your Bible Study Leader, take a minute to prepare yourself for the conversation. Speak gently and with kindness. Your job is to act in accordance with God’s will as God will deal with the other person’s heart and behavior as He sees fit.

    It’s never okay for someone to mistreat you. However, God also commands us to do to others as you would have them do to you” (Luke 6:31.) Therefore, we must find a way to resolve the issues that we have with others so that we can be obedient in our love walk. Talking things over is always the best way to start. If the issue remains problematic, then you and your parents may need to decide if that ministry is the best fit for your family.

    Do you feel it's double-y wrong for an adult to hurt a young person's feelings?

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    Aysha Ives
    Aysha Ives loves God with her whole heart and has a desire to help hurting people. With a Masters Degree in Psychology, she combines her education and experience with her love for God to help people live whole and fulfilled lives. Aysha is an Author, Mental Health Provider, Youth Church Teacher, and the mother of one gifted little boy whom she absolutely adores. Aysha is honored to be able to share her love of God with Project Inspired readers. Aysha is also the author of God Cares About Your Stuff: How To Believe For Tomorrow When Things Look Utterly, Completely, And Totally Impossible Today, released February 2013- Available at Amazon.

    8 COMMENTS

    1. Hey! I stumbled on to your website through a facebook add and have been cruising around. I really like it! This particular post stood out because that is what my youth group is going through with our youth leader. He has said something over facebook that was rude and spiteful when my friend and I didn’t show up to youth one week. It was really infuriating. We only have about 5 students on a good day. 3 on a normal day. We used to have around 15 or so when he first came. We are are getting tired of him putting us down when we don’t show. “Slacker” is a common term. See I am moving away and won’t have to deal with him anymore. But my best friend will and I won’t be able to help her. I don’t know what to do. Any thoughts?

    2. Hi Sarah. I’m so sorry that you’re experiencing this. Are there any other church leaders that you feel comfortable talking to about this situation? Or how about a parent? Have you or any other members of the group discussed the situation with your parents?

    3. Hi Aysha J. Ives. Thank you for your advice in talking with adults. I talked with parents and we discussed it. Accually my friend’s mother sent a strong letter to the youth leader and it hit home. 🙂 He’s apologized sincerily and have promised to change. It seems to be changing (although the test of time will truely tell). I hope that he really means it. I guess this was one of those small town incidents. I really appreciate your concern. Thank you so much!

    4. 🙂 This is a really amazing site. Y’all can be proud. Not only do y’all provide insight into how to deal with situations in daily life, but y’all also provide great tips on how to look and feel your best! I hope y’all know that you ARE making a differance. Thank you so much. God bless y’all!!!

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    We here at Project Inspired want to guide and inspire teen girls to be true to themselves and to God. We want to show young girls how to be people of value and confidence – how to be your own best selves – through leading a Christian life. Who are we? We're a team of girls, like you. We edit the site, we post to social media, we hang out in the chat rooms and forums. We talk with you, we listen to you, and we love you!

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