When we dislike people in our lives, it’s often because they’ve said or done something to hurt us.
Think about it: every person who’s made it onto your “dislike” list has probably wronged you in some way. Whether it’s the girl down the street who’s now dating your ex-boyfriend, the boy in your homeroom class who’s always talking about you or the teacher who’s always ridiculing you, the experience of disliking someone usually stems from the fact that this person mistreated you in some way.
As young people, you expect more from adults. You expect that the adults in your life will try to meet your needs. Unfortunately, because no one is perfect, grownups will also sometimes fall short of your expectations. However, you might find it difficult to talk to adults about the things that they’ve said or done to hurt you. Instead you experience disappointment or anger about the situation and you eventually grow to dislike them.
What we don’t realize is our responsibility to LET PEOPLE KNOW. If anyone has unintentionally hurt you in any way, you need to make them aware of what occurred so they can make amends. Likewise, if they intentionally mistreated you, hold that person accountable for what they did!
If you’re in a position where you’ve been hurt by a church leader (your Bible Study Leader for example), and you don’t feel comfortable talking to him or her alone, share your concerns with another trusted adult. Talk to your parents or another church leader with whom you feel safe. Together you can bring your concerns to the Bible Study Leader so that the issue can be resolved.
Do to others as you would have them do to you (Luke 6:31.)
It’s essential to go to the person who has wronged you in a spirit of love, as God commands us to “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8.) Conflict is difficult for anyone, but no matter how angry you are with your Bible Study Leader, take a minute to prepare yourself for the conversation. Speak gently and with kindness. Your job is to act in accordance with God’s will as God will deal with the other person’s heart and behavior as He sees fit.
It’s never okay for someone to mistreat you. However, God also commands us to “do to others as you would have them do to you” (Luke 6:31.) Therefore, we must find a way to resolve the issues that we have with others so that we can be obedient in our love walk. Talking things over is always the best way to start. If the issue remains problematic, then you and your parents may need to decide if that ministry is the best fit for your family.