I like this guy who has a reputation for hurting girls. I’ve tried not to like him and have even asked God to help me stop liking him, but I STILL like him! Am I wrong? What should I do?
Girlies, unfortunately, you don’t always get to choose who you fall for! Even worse is that sometimes, even when people know that a relationship could potentially end in a disaster, the strong emotional attraction makes them give the relationship a try anyway. However, it’s important to note that although you can’t always control how you feel, you CAN control what you do with those feelings! Here are some tips on handling this situation:
- Ask yourself, “Has he changed?” People absolutely can change! God is the ultimate redeemer and will help anyone renew themselves if that’s what they want to do. HOWEVER, the key is that they have to want it! So, how has this guy demonstrated that he has changed? Does he demonstrate the love of God toward others? It sounds like you still have some concern because you wrote the letter. Well, the Bible says that you’ll know a person by the fruit that he bears. It’s very important to guard your heart – so be sure that this guy demonstrates the fruit of the Holy Spirit before you open your heart up to him!
The Bible says, “The Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” (Galatians 5:22-23) Does your crush demonstrate these Godly traits?
- If you truly believe he has changed, consider taking it slow. Build a friendship with him and watch his behavior over time. If you see any red signals or yellow alerts (warning signs), then you should really reconsider whether he’s someone who’s worthy of dating you.
- Pray for revelation. Instead of asking God to help you stop liking this guy, you may want to try praying for direction. Ask God if he’s someone that you should become involved with. If you truly believe that God has given you the stamp of approval, then go for it! However, if your spirit is unsettled about it, perhaps you should “stand still” for awhile and ask God to make it much clearer for you. If God cautions you to NOT move forward with a relationship, then CHOOSE to be obedient! Remember, try not to depend on what you’re feeling, but focus on what’s best for you in the long run. God wants to protect you!
- It’s your responsibility to protect your heart! Sometimes we make choices that end in unexpected consequences. However, if there are warning signals beforehand, then it’s important to use caution! It’s absolutely possible that your crush may have changed his ways but you should make sure that you’re comfortable with the changes before entering into a relationship with him. You’re SPECIAL and deserve nothing less than all of what God has for you!
What do you girls think? Have you ever been in this situation before? Do you have any advice for her?