“I Like Him, But He’s Not Good for Me! What Should I Do?”
Written by Ask Olivia | February 19, 2014
I’m having trouble with a boy and my emotions right now. You see, my parents won’t allow me to date right now. Me and this boy really like each other and we aren’t doing anything behind my parents’ backs, but I’m gonna be able to date very soon. Neither my parents nor my grandparents agree he’s a good suitor for me. I like him a lot but I don’t know why because I don’t even think he’s a good suitor for me, but I just can’t bring myself to not like him! And he’s even canceled his scholarship so he can stay here with me, so I don’t know how I can tell him that I don’t think we should get together when we can, and then when I’m around him, I don’t want to tell him that. I’m so confused! I don’t want to break his heart but I know we’re not right for each other so I don’t know what to do! Oh yes, I forgot to say he is a Christian so that’s not the reason why I feel we wouldn’t be right for each other, but I know in my heart it wouldn’t work out. I just don’t know what to do about my emotions. If you could offer me any assistance, that would be most appreciated 🙂
Girl, you weren’t kidding about your emotions, huh? When your emotions are all over the place, it’s so hard to make rational decisions…we’ve ALL been there!
I think that the first thing you need to do is set aside your concerns about your parents and grandparents. Not that their opinions are not relevant–they absolutely are. But I’m wondering if some of your emotional confusion may include hints of resentment in response to their views about this guy that you like so much?
A few things popped out at me when I read your question. The first two were, “I don’t even think he’s a good suitor for me” and “I know in my heart it wouldn’t work out.” It sounds like you already answered your own question, right? If you don’t think that he’s right for you, then why is there a problem? Well, it sounds to me like there’s a battle going on between your head and your heart. You know he’s not right for you, but you can’t stop liking him. And the fact that he canceled his scholarship just adds more stress and guilt. Eeek!
I understand that you don’t want to hurt him, but I’m thinking that this will likely and inevitably end in heartache for both of you, because when your heart and your head can’t agree, something’s up.
If you don’t think he’s right, then he’s not right. Like you said, he should be a good suitor, not just some guy you date, right? So, here’s what I suggest:
- Tell him the truth. He deserves it. You don’t want to keep him hanging on if he’s not right.
- You should tell him to take the scholarship, if it’s not too late. The time away from each other will help determine the truth.
- Pray about it. Ask God to remove the desire in your heart if this boy is not the one for you.
- Work on your walk with Christ. The strength of your relationship with Him will enable you to better see and recognize the best suitor for you.
- Consider the boy who is best suited for you. Rushing into a relationship with this boy could lead you to a destructive relationship, and you may miss out on the guy you’re meant to marry.
- Remember, when you meet the guy who’s meant for you, God will let you know by bringing your heart and your head together in agreement.
I really pray it all works out for you. God bless and good luck!
Need some advice? Ask your relationship questions in the comments below and I might answer them in a future article!