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    “I Like Him, But We Only Talk Online. Now He’s Acting Weird…Help!”

    I like this guy, but we usually only talk on Facebook or through video chats. We used to flirt a lot and I started to like him a lot. The problem is that now he’s acting funny. He only responds to me with one-word answers and he says that I chat with him too much! What should I do?

    Social media is probably one of the greatest advancements of this generation! We can now build friendships with people in other states and even share the Gospel across continents just by turning on the computer! It’s an amazing thing, but it does come with some drawbacks.

    Building a relationship is hard enough, but it’s even harder when electronic communication is the primary way that two people correspond. Even with video chatting, some of the nonverbal communication that is so important in relationships can be missed. Online relationships can and do work out for some people, but those relationships are generally harder to create and sustain, especially for teenagers. This is because it’s pretty hard for teenagers who live far away to spend time together offline, which really impacts the relationship.

    Here are some other things for you to consider:

    • Did you express your feelings for him recently? If he stopped communicating with you after you told him that you liked him, maybe he just needs some time to figure things out. Sometimes guys struggle with nonverbal cues (especially over the computer), so you may have caught him off guard. And that’s okay! If this is what’s going on, perhaps you should have an upfront and direct (but loving) conversation with him about it.
    • Avoid trying to force the friendship! If he needs space, then it’s probably a good idea to give it to him. Try not to focus so much energy on a guy who isn’t currently reciprocating your feelings.
    • Focus on your own inner healing. Clearly you’ve been hurt by this situation and you should spend some time allowing the wound to heal. Spend more time in God’s presence and treat yourself to something special. Love on yourself a little more so that you don’t forget just how SPECIAL you really are!
    • Don’t let resentment in! Sometimes when someone hurts us, we can become a little angry toward that person. But try not to allow yourself to become bitter! God loves you very much and has the PERFECT guy in store for you! If this person is, in fact, that guy, then God will work out the situation for the good of both of you. However, if he isn’t, then release any negative feelings that you’re harboring so that you’re open to receive the RIGHT guy who WILL eventually cross your path.

    What do you girls think? Is online dating a good idea? Have you ever been in this situation?

    Aysha Ives
    Aysha Ives loves God with her whole heart and has a desire to help hurting people. With a Masters Degree in Psychology, she combines her education and experience with her love for God to help people live whole and fulfilled lives. Aysha is an Author, Mental Health Provider, Youth Church Teacher, and the mother of one gifted little boy whom she absolutely adores. Aysha is honored to be able to share her love of God with Project Inspired readers. Aysha is also the author of God Cares About Your Stuff: How To Believe For Tomorrow When Things Look Utterly, Completely, And Totally Impossible Today, released February 2013- Available at Amazon.

    8 COMMENTS

    1. I have to say, I have been in this situation, and I have also seen it from the guys side watching my brother. It is very easy to mis interpret text and non vocal communication. And the way you interpret things is very different than the way guys interpret things.

    2. that can be really dangorouse online dating is really bad news so just be careful i know that kind of thing is really scary but if he asks to meet you in person say no and delete your account of block him EMEDIETLY

      • You don’t necessarily have to delete your account if he asks to meet in person. If he’s being creepy and you don’t feel right about it, then yeah, do that.

        But if you really like him, you can agree to meet him in a public place and tell friends exactly where you’ll be and at what time, and that you’ll text them when you go to meet him, and then leave the date. As long as you’re not in a dark alleyway, and people know where you are, you’re pretty safe, I think.

    3. I’ve learned to just not talk very often to guys over the internet just because you can read into things way to easily and that can ruin your friendship and make things awkward in person. I’m not saying you can’t chat on Facebook or text each other, just be careful what you say! I’ve been in this situation!

    4. We aren’t necessarily dating, (although his mom asked us about it when I went to visit a couple weeks ago) because I told him (and his mom) I wanted to wait. Especially since a) He’s a lot older than me and b) We live in two totally different states. That, and I don’t want to date just for fun, but as a way to get to know someone whom I think would make a good husband. Since I’m not ready for marriage yet, there’s not point in it. Anyway, it’s a long story but basically, he’s my best friends brother and whenever I hang out with her, I end up hanging out with him as well. We three spend a lot of time together that way. 🙂 His mom proposed an arranged marriage a few years ago (as I said, long story) and recently, we’ve both found out we really like each other and have for quite some time. My dad is in the Air Force and my family and I moved about a year and a half ago. We’ve been talking a lot online through Facebook and IM since then and we’ve really enjoyed it. It’s a good way to get to know one another without being tempted by physical attraction. I think God kept us apart for good reason. That way, I can stay true to my morals and values. But you’re right, I’ve had to stop myself a lot and ask what he really meant by different statements. It can be hard sometimes without facial expressions, body language, and vocal inflections. I think as long as you stop and think before you respond, and are understanding about it, you can make it work. Just remember, misunderstandings can ruin everything!

    5. I was in a similar situation a while back. I chatted a lot with a long distance guy friend. I started to like him and he said that he liked me too. He even came across the country to take me to my senior prom and we were both planning to go to the same college (not because of each other, we both liked the school for the programs we planned to be in). But then suddenly at the beginning of the summer he started messaging me one word replies too and soon just stopped talking to me altogether. I found out a week before freshman move in that he started dating a girl from his hometown at the beginning of the summer. I was crushed and asked him what happened. He didn’t give me a detailed explanation but said that he just didn’t know how to tell me. I was really really hurt and thought that I wasn’t good enough for anyone after that. I found a lot of strength in remember that Jesus bought me for a price and recalling what my camp counselor had said to me a few years ago: “God has picked someone out for you, he’s out there right now and you have been picked for him. God will bring you together one day, He has a plan for you.” Remember this, it’s easy for everyone to take anything not face to face as too serious or not serious. I mean that, it’s easy to say something on a text message but hard to say it in person, and sometime people (especially girls) can take something online more seriously than intended. Keep your wits about you and trust God’s guidance. NO MATTER WHAT, He has a plan for you, He has someone picked out just for you and you for that person.

    6. I personally myself rather meet guys/ at other Enveical Christian Church’s, Retreats, Colleges/Universites, at a job, many times at Christian Colleges/Universites I heard of growing young people met their spouses in high school or College”. Youth Group at Church teen retreat you could end up meeting a guy/girl who is not. A True Christian but in wolves clothing

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    We here at Project Inspired want to guide and inspire teen girls to be true to themselves and to God. We want to show young girls how to be people of value and confidence – how to be your own best selves – through leading a Christian life. Who are we? We're a team of girls, like you. We edit the site, we post to social media, we hang out in the chat rooms and forums. We talk with you, we listen to you, and we love you!

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