I Think I’ve Found “The One”! Now What?
Written by T.M. Gaouette | December 3, 2014
Ladies, when God made woman, His intention was to make a “suitable” partner for man because He didn’t want man to be alone. And so He made woman.
The LORD God then built up into a woman the rib
that he had taken from the man.
When he brought her to the man, the man said:
“This one, at last, is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
this one shall be called ‘woman,’
for out of ‘her man’ this one has been taken.”
That is why a man leaves his father and mother
and clings to his wife,
and the two of them become one flesh.
(Genesis 2: 22-24)
In a perfect world, it would be easy to find “The One,” because everyone would adhere to God’s commandments and so we wouldn’t have to search for those qualities in a person. Rather, we would search for a person who matched us in interests. Unfortunately, when sin entered the world, things changed. And as the years have progressed, things and people have changed radically. So, it’s not so easy to find The One for us.
Ladies, I recently wrote a post titled 10 Signs He’s “The One.” Some of you commented on that post with the question of what to do if you do find The One. Well, before you run out and purchase your wedding gown, STOP! There are a bunch more things you need to do to make sure you really have found The One.
Consider the following:
- Talk to a trusted friend. You don’t want to be blinded by your own desire to be with this guy. He may well be great for you, but getting a second or third opinion is always an eye-opener. So speak to a trusted friend, your parents and your siblings. Those who love you will want the best for you and will be honest about the guy you believe is The One. But be willing and open to hear the truth.
- Be sure he’s The One. Do lots of things together. Go places together and hang out with friends and family together. This is a great way to see if the two of you get along in everyday situations.
- Talk seriously about a future together. You know he’s The One. He thinks you’re The One. Your friends and family believe he’s The One. So talk about a future together. Determine whether your relationship will likely be leading to marriage. There’s really no point in pursuing a relationship if marriage is not the future.
- Talk about a life together. A real life! Don’t wait to talk about the important things like faith, children, a home, work, school for your children and so on until after you’re married. These should be discussed before. And don’t be so quick to compromise. Sure, marriage is compromise, but you’re not married yet, so you don’t have to compromise on the things that are really important to you. For example, if he wants two children but you’ve always desired a huge family—or he wants your children to go to public school and for you to work, but you want to stay home and home-school your kids—these may not be compromises you’re willing to make when the time comes. They’re huge issues that affect a marriage and could cause bitterness and resentment.
- Make a date. If all signs point to the perfect union between you and your “one,” then what are you waiting for? Establishing a career? A long engagement? Traveling the world? Finding yourself? Let’s be honest: If you wanted to do those things before getting married, why are you even dating now? If you want to do all these things, then do them, but be clear about your intentions and perhaps don’t get emotionally involved with anyone.
Ladies, God does have a plan for all of us. Just don’t get all anxious about it. Put it in His hands. Give your life to Him. Make Him your number one. Do what you have to do in the meantime, focusing on Him at all times, and He will make it happen in His time.
Ladies, do you believe that you’ve found The One?