Hi PI girls! I’m a 16-year-old girl in 11th grade who has never been in a serious relationship but always has had her heart opened to guys. There are some guys who have asked me out, but none of them love God and I’m not willing to be with a guy just because he’s cute–he needs to reach my standards.
Recently, I’ve been trying to talk more to Christian guys and I like this nice guy that I met two years ago. He’s awesome, but he doesn’t show any interest in becoming my boyfriend. I prayed to God about this situation and I also read books and talked to my friends to get some advice about why this was happening to me and what I should do about it.
Here are some questions I had that I now know the answers to. They will be really helpful for you if you’re confused about boys and your self-image.
1. Why do guys ignore me and don’t look at me the same way they look at my friends?
This question can be answered in only one quote:
A woman’s heart should be so hidden in God that a man needs to seek him in order to find her.
This means that you don’t need to try too hard to look good physically to attract guys. If you ask God for help to find your soul mate, he will put the right guy at the right time in your path who will love you for who you are, not for what you look like.
So, the guys who don’t pay attention to you are probably not worth it and they’re not looking for a serious relationship. Also, try to concentrate more on pleasing God and doing well in school, because you’re too young and you’ll have plenty of time in the future to date.
2. How can I attract guys in a modest way?
You might think I just contradicted myself because in the other question, I said that physical appearance doesn’t matter. But I think it’s natural for people to want to have a good impression on others and there are many ways you can do this without having to look like a Hollywood star.
First of all, you need to wear a SMILE on your face all the time! A smile can add natural beauty and it shows that you’re a confident person who likes to be around others.
Second of all, try to be KIND to everybody! How do you feel when someone is really nice to you? You feel like you can see God reflected in that person and that you can call him or her when you need help. So, if you’re kind, guys will notice your personality, rather than your clothes and your body.
Lastly, BE YOURSELF! If you act different when you’re around the guy you like, you’re not being yourself and he won’t get to know who you really are.
3. What’s the “right” age to date?
When you date someone, it’s because in your mind, you saw yourself marrying that person in the future. So age doesn’t matter as long as your level of maturity is high enough to understand what the purpose of a relationship is and your intentions with that person are very clear.
This doesn’t mean that if you’re 11-13 years old, you can’t hang out with boys your age to get to know them. This means that you shouldn’t get too attached to someone when you haven’t prayed about him and he doesn’t seem to want to have a lasting relationship with you.
Many people say that you can start dating when you’re 16-17, and I understand their point because girls begin to grow mentally at this age. Just make sure that you maintain your purity until you get married and obey your parents’ rules about dating.
NOTE: if you have questions that are similar to these ones or you’re still confused about any of these answers, comment below and I will try my best to reply back. God bless you!
Written by PI girl, Bremda