Thank you so much for this opportunity for advice!
I am in need. This isn’t about boys, but more about socializing. I have an awkwardness about me when I socialize, and I often find myself misunderstood and lonely, and it hurts. I used to cry more because I am very sensitive, but I hold things in at school because I know people see me as a weak little girl, even though I am in high school. Please give me a word and some advice!
The Social Butterfly That Can’t Yet Fly
Oh, sweet girl! I know it’s not easy to fit in. School can be a pretty depressing place when you don’t have friends. But the important thing is not to allow that to depress you. I know, it’s so much easier said than done! But the truth is, you’re not alone! So many people have anxiety about socializing.
Oftentimes, in our desire to be “cool” or “fit in” or be “social,” we try too hard and we end up looking or sounding awkward, and the whole thing backfires! Ugh! But girl, you can only feel comfortable in your own shoes. So it’s really important to love who you are. God loves you, after all, and He’s never wrong.
So this is what I suggest you do:
- Find your strength in the Lord. What I mean is recognize how amazing you are. As a child of God, you have a special place in His heart, and when you hurt, He hurts. You really need to know that you are a unique creation and God designed you. He designed that awkwardness and sensitivity, and with it, He instilled a sense of humility that comes with being a Christian. Now that you know that you are as He made you, find confidence in that knowledge. Hold your head high, sweet girl. God loves you!
- Don’t try so hard to fit in. Sometimes you become more awkward when you try too hard to be “cool” or “sociable.” You don’t have to be a “social butterfly.” You just have to be a loyal follower of Christ. So work on that and everything else will fall into place. Be comfortable in your own shoes and your natural personality will flow.
- Find friends doing the things you enjoy. Take up an activity, go to youth group or start doing a hobby that you enjoy, and you will meet people who share some of your interests. This way, you can be yourself, talk about the interests you share and so on.
- Pray. Pray and believe and you will receive. Pray and ask God to give you self-confidence to share your real self with others. But pray also that you are fulfilled by God’s love, because ultimately, God wants you to need Him and no one else. Sure, He wants you have friends, but He doesn’t want you to feel lost when you don’t because He is there to fill that void.
Good luck and God bless!
Need some advice? Ask your relationship questions in the Ask Olivia Girl Talk forum or in the comments below and I might answer them in a future article!