“I’m Worried I’ll Never Find ‘The One’”
Written by Phylicia Masonheimer | November 29, 2016
Thanksgiving and Christmas can be tough for the single girl. People are getting into relationships or getting engaged at a faster rate than normal (which was already fast enough, thank you very much) and it’s hard to be the one on the outside looking in. As time passes, worry battles against the faith in your heart. Will you ever find “The One”?
“The One” Is Not a Biblical Concept
It might surprise you to know that “soulmate” ideology is not biblical. Nowhere in Scripture does God indicate each one of us is destined for a specific person. The idea that each of us has a “soulmate” is rooted in Greek mythology—not Scripture! God has outlined a type of person to look for; read Titus 1:5-9 for some examples. There are many people who might fit these qualifications—and that should be encouraging! As you walk in God’s will, He brings people in and out of your life. If you’re walking in the Spirit and listening to His voice, you’ll know a good man when you see one.
The person you marry becomes “The One” once you say your vows. At that point you have covenanted before God to one another “till death do us part.”
God Doesn’t Need Your Help; He Wants Your Trust
Okay, so “The One” isn’t a biblical concept. But that doesn’t do any good if you’re single, right?! What if God doesn’t have marriage in the future for you at all?
Too many young Christians ask this question. It’s the wrong question to ask! We should not waste time wondering whether or not we will get married. Instead, we should live our lives to the fullest right where we are. The more time you spend thinking about what might happen in the future, the less effective you are in the present. By dwelling on marriage, you cheat yourself of the abundant life God has for you.
God is all-good and all-powerful. If you are seeking Him and walking in His will, He will reveal opportunities for a relationship in His time. You don’t “help” God by worrying; in fact, worry is offensive to Him! Worry says “God, you aren’t all-good or all-powerful. I can’t trust you. I need control of this part of my life.” The sad part is that we don’t even have control of our future—He does. Worry does us all harm and no good.
God doesn’t need your help to find your future spouse. He simply wants your trust.
God Cares About Your Relationships
Finally, remember that God cares deeply about your relationships. All your relationships—with family, friends, boyfriends and your future spouse—matter to God because they are part of your witness for Him. He also cares about your relationships because they affect your heart, and as your loving Father, He takes thought for what you experience.
Do you really trust that God cares about you this way? When you do, you’ll reach a new level of peace in your singleness. Worry and love cannot coexist. When you choose daily to trust God’s love and timing, you cease to worry about finding “The One.” That’s God’s job. Your job is simply to live out the calling He has given you today—not tomorrow, or the day after. There is sufficient grace for where you are right now.
As relationships pop up in your Facebook feed, let them be a reminder of God’s love and capability. Rather than despair in your singleness, turn your eyes to Jesus. Ask Him to reveal His purpose for you in this season and to teach you how to live fully as the one He deeply loves.