Is Dakota Fanning’s New Movie a Bad Message for Girls?

    Dakota Fanning and Elizabeth Olsen currently are filming a new movie titled Very Good Girls. The premise? My understanding is that they are playing young friends who are graduating from high school. And they decide to make a pact to each lose their virginity after graduation.

    I don’t know the whole storyline and I’m not aware of the moral premise, if there is one, but I can’t help but be disappointed. Yet again we’re being offered a movie that puts sex in the forefront of a young girl’s ambition. For some reason, losing one’s virginity has become an objective, as if it’s just one goal on a bucket list.

    Being a virgin has become a stigma in our society even though waiting to have sex until marriage is the way of Christian teaching. But then again, being a Christian is also a stigma in our society, so it shouldn’t be surprising that striving for Christian values also would be ridiculed.

    I really believe the media plays a huge part in influencing young people and their everyday decisions. Many of the movies that come out of Hollywood are founded around a sexual encounter. If sex is not the primary focus, then it’s used to add “excitement” to the storyline. Sex sells, right? And Hollywood takes full advantage of this thinking.

    There are so many problems associated with this philosophy, however, and every one of them leads to destruction. Because sex is the primary focus in movies and on television, young viewers become obsessed with it. This often leads young girls to believe that sex is important, and if they’re not doing it, there’s something wrong with them.

    The reality is that sex is not meant to be a component of society. It’s not supposed to be an issue in school, where education should be the primary focus. It’s not supposed to be associated with social situations at all. Sex is supposed to be an issue only for a husband and his wife. That’s what Christ intended.

    Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge (Hebrews 13:4).

    Sex is supposed to be a private matter. But the media has taken it and placed it in the center of every situation. They’ve made it the be-all and end-all of every relationship. For this reason, sex has been devalued and any girl who desires to stay pure for her future husband is considered bizarre.

    PI ladies, what do you think about the premise of this upcoming movie? Do you find that girls in your school are obsessed with sex and losing their virginity?

    T.M. Gaouette
    T.M. Gaouette is a freelance writer, ghostwriter, blogger and fiction novelist. She was born in Africa, brought up in London and is now living in New England with her husband and four children. Devoted to Him, Gaouette is dedicated to glorifying God through her stories for teens and young adults. T.M. Gaouette is the author of "The Destiny of Sunshine Ranch" and "Freeing Tanner Rose," Christian novels for teens and young adults. She's currently working on completing her upcoming novel -visit for more on her Christian fiction work. Connect with her on and .


    1. It’s scary how sex is becoming so mainstream. It’s really bad. Girls at my school do seem to be obsessed with sex. I was only and eighth grade and four girls got pregnant, two of which had abortions. It is entirely too sad. It’s such a shame that sex is becoming a main focus for entertainment. I can’t stand it, sex is a beautiful thing within the confides of marraige, but Hollywood is exploiting it to a point where it’s vile and sick. It’s really, really sad.

        • I wear a purity ring to, and so do most of the girls at my high school. But some of them have made some very bad decisions regarding boys, and then just gone to church the next day all ready to act like nothing un-godly happened.

      • Aw, Jenna. I understand your sadness, but girl, use that as fuel! Pray hard for our nation, for young women, about abortion, all of these things. Prayer really moves mountains, and then use it to make you passionate about sharing with girls why they shouldn’t have sex before marriage. Be the role-model this world needs, and be just as vocal about it as hollywood is about their opinions on sex.

    2. That is so because apparently, every movie must have some sort of sexual content. No, all these movies are actually influencing me in a personal way and there needs to be more voices.

    3. I was the only one in my class out of 75 students that took the purity pledge, bought the ring, and is sincere about it. The others girls and boys are not very sincere about waiting until marriage to have sex. Even during a movie we had to watch for sex health and education, the teacher didn’t say to wait until marriage, she said that when you get into high school/ college and you decide that you might want to have sex, to use protection and make sure you are serious about the guy. The kids make fun of me for wearing Christian shirts, necklaces, rings, bracelets, headbands, folders, ect. It is sad that whenever I wear something like that, I get made fun of. I think that the media needs to stop putting the focus on losing your virginity. Your body is very important.

      • I agree that it’s rude for them to be making fun of you, but people tend to be persecuted for their faith. Also, the teacher should have told the students that, because many girls who plan to stay “pure” have sex anyway and don’t use protection.

      • Hi, you’re kinda like a role model to me right now, where I live it’s rather the rule to be a Christian and the exception not to be. And though it’s happening more and more often these days, quite a number of girls do want to keep themselves pure, so you could say I have it easy, you don’t and I think its really great that you refuse to deny God, so you know on that day he certainly won’t deny you. Keep it up and God bless you.

      • I think it is amazing that you refuse to give in when they make fun of you. Keep up the good work. Even though they make fun of you, some of them are probably thinking “Wow! I wish that I didn’t care what other people think of me like this girl doesn’t.”

      • I’m so proud of you, katie74340- Don’t forget the verse, “Yet if any man suffer as a Christian, let him not be ashamed; but let him glorify God on this behalf” (1 Peter 4:16). And check out the following post on Tim Tebow, a man who embraces his Christianity even when ridiculed. May God keep you strong in your faith, and may your acts of devotion encourage and inspire others.

    4. I don’t really understand why we constantly have to be picking apart every movie, actress, music artist or anyone else who doesn’t live like a Christian. Didn’t Christ say we’re supposed to love everyone and spread the gospel by telling people about him, not posting things about others? I just think sometimes the focus is on gossip going around about celebrities and not really on what we need to focus on: Jesus and stories of people who have been saved by Him. Let us rejoice with those who have been saved, not wallow in the disgust of modern day culture. These things go on daily and we can’t stop this movie from releasing, only pray that God will save those people. Positive instead of negative.

        • Good for you, kala12395! Celebrities are people, just like us and sometimes we forget they are subject to criticism and scrutiny from various people and this kind of criticism coming from Christians is not very godly. I believe we are called to love everybody, but if someone is doing something wrong, we shouldn’t be aghast and so surprised, because this world isn’t perfect. It will never be our home. Worrying about the star’s latest movie and what it portrays is something we shouldn’t worry about or draw uneccessary attention to.

      • I agree with this comment. I absolutely love what project inspired does for others and how it gives us hope and inspiration. But what about that story of the woman caught in the act of adultery? The town said that it was a crime punishable by death. But as they were about to stone her, Jesus said, “let those of you who are without sin cast the first stone.” The people retreated, and the woman was saved. But the most amazing part was when Jesus did NOT throw a stone. He was perfect, He could have stoned her. But his LOVE and COMPASSION for sinners outweigh all. So even though these people are doing wrong, haven’t we also done wrong? And although our sins are washed away in Christ, shouldn’t we have enough love and compassion for other sinners to not judge?

        • Yes, thank you for your reply, dancerkenna, I agree with everything you said. We should have love and compassion for sinners and hate shouldn’t be something that we practice everyday, especially when it comes to people who are different than us, including celebrities. I feel as if when we talk about these celebrities and their latest movie, music video or whatever, we are drawing attention to them, which is exactly what they want. If we say something is wrong, why glorify it?

      • exactly. i do believe it is wrong. But there is no reason for us to constantly say that these actors are bad people. I act myself and perform in musicals in my free time. In the movie, it is the character who is bad, not the person. Because it is the character’s morals, not the person acting as the character’s. and no sin is worse than any other. Celebrities may cause temptation, but the Lord says that he gives us no temptation beyond what we can bear. it is not the celebrity’s fault we sin, it is our own sinful desires.

        • You’re right, I believe that celebrities are people, just like us. I agree, all sins are equal. Yes, exactly! The actor is just doing their job, they are not the character they portray, just the actor who brings them to life. We have discernment as Christians and should look at a movie like this and just avoid it if we want to, not constantly tell others how awful a movie is. If you want to see it, go. God will not condemn you to hell for seeing one movie or even dozens, the only way you can be separated from him is by mocking the holy spirit.

    5. As a married adult woman, I can say it is important to keep pointing out good and bad examples to the younger girls. I don’t know exactly when I decided to stay a virgin till marriage, but I was 15 when I decided no teen dating for me. I didn’t even date much in the small Christian College I attended. I remained a virgin and pure until I married my husband – I was almost 29. Now, almost 4 years later, we’re the only ones the other has ever had sexually, and God has blessed us with our first child due in November. God is so good, it is hard to wait, but God gives you what you need as you need it and YOU CAN DO IT GIRLS!!! It’s the most beautiful and rewarding thing anyone can ever give to their spouse.

      • Ty for the encouragement! My boyfriend and i have been in situations where sex was really tempting… It’s really encouraging to hear that sex really is worth waiting for when ur married. He and i talked about those situations together and we both agrees that we need to set some rules so we don’t find ourselves there again because, if it’s in God’s plan for us to spend the rest of our lives together, we want our married relationship to be as amazing as God intended it to be, which means doing whatever is needed so we don’t go too far without realizing it. Ty for writing this

    6. I know that you guys mean well and all, but as a non-virgin, I find it annoying when people emphasize being “pure”. To me, it shouldn’t matter if someone is a virgin or not. As long as they treat me right, I’m good 🙂

      • “Purity” is often used to mean virginity, but it’s not just that. It’s being devoted to God and free of sin. It’s having a clear conscience. If your mistakes are in the past and you’ve asked God for forgiveness, you’re pure. I hope that’s the case for you, and I’ll be praying for you. =]

    7. I think what’s even more sad is how sex is built up to be this amazing thing by society. Yes, it is amazing, because God created it, and it’s meant to bring a husband and wife closer together (and also to bring babies into the world lol). However, a lot of people are using sex outside of marriage as a drug, as a way of escape, as a means to achieve some sort of temporary high. Then afterwards, they feel disappointed because the loving bond and security of a marital commitment isn’t there.

      • Read 1 Thessalonians Ch. 4, Ephesians Chps. 5 & 6 has good teachings, there are also other Books in the Bible that talk about fornicating, which means to haves sex with people you are not married to, and God does say fornicators will not inherit the Kingdom. That is why we do need to read and study our Bibles so we know how to inherit the Kingdom of Christ our Lord. I read my Bible in 90 days! It takes about an hour of reading a day to do it. Now I like to go back and do more studying. If you do not want to try to read the Bible in 90 days I recommend reading the Book of John first and then the Book of Romans. They have great teachings. God bless and good luck.

    8. I’m tired of all the judging. Most of this all depends on how your raised. I’ve heard of atheist parents who have nothing against teen sex. Yes, I think it’s very wrong – Did you read that? But, as Christians, I think we should leave all the judging to God!

      • Letting others know about God’s Laws is not judging. If someone is doing something against God’s laws shouldn’t they be told? It is our responsibility as Christians to help one another or reprove one another. We all need to help each other. People are always throwing the “judge card” out. If someone points out something I may be doing wrong I am willing to listen and learn. In the end God will judge.

        • But some people aren’t Christian, Kimmie. I think that’s what she meant. Everyone has their own set of morals, and they live by them.

        • It’s a fine line. Matthew 7:2 says “For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Make sure that you are being a good example before you point out others’ mistakes.

          And think about how people will take your “judgement.” A fellow Christian should be open to being rebuked when they are sinning. We need to help each other grow! But someone who doesn’t claim to be Christian didn’t sign up for that. They probably aren’t going to be open to Christian morals. I think in that case it’s best to just try to lead by example, and not actually say anything unless the person is going to get hurt or hurt someone else, they ask you, or they’re thinking of becoming a Christian. And prayer always helps!

    9. There have been SO many TV shows and movies that have looked good so I started watching them. Then they incorporate sex into it and I shut it off… I don’t think there is ONE teen tv show that doesn’t hint at it or show it etc. Very frustrating and upsetting.

    10. I’m getting sick and tired of all these comments about “judging”. There is a marked difference between judging, and discerning what is right and wrong (and I don’t mean discerning just to make ourselves feel better). Many girls/guys have not been taught what can be/isn’t/is harmful. Judging is being overly critical, snobbish, and unloving. I saw none of that in this article.

      • I disagree about there being no judging in this article. The blogger herself mentioned that she had no idea about the plot. What if the plot turned out to be “two girls pledge to lose their virginity, go through a series of friendship-testing problems, and find out in the end that it’s better to keep themselves away from bad boys”? Taking one part of the movie plot and twisting it around to “teach” others about Christian faith is the same as an atheist taking a ridiculous part of the Bible (of which there are many; however, in CONTEXT they are understandable) and condemning it. It’s alright to say that virginity should be sacred, although I personally don’t agree with this view. It’s another, however, to call out an actress that stars in a may-or-may-not-be-against-Christian-view movie and shame her, as well as assume that all media places sex on a pedestal.

        • The Bible is God’s word. Calling any of the Bible ridiculous is bordering the line of blasphemy. So, in essence, you are stating that God is ridiculous. That is why I will state again that we all need to study our Bibles in earnest. He does say not to fornicate. So whether you agree with Him or not is up to you.

        • Sex is defiantly put on a pedestal, most movies involve some sort of sexual relationship, that’s for chicflics, while action movies, just totally demean women by the fact that a totally under dressed woman flaunting her stuff is the character that the man is attracted too, and carries around. I agree that judging what youve heard while not knowing the whole plot, isnt right, but by youre fruit u shall know them. What kinda movies has dakota fanning recently been in? Shes growing up and by hollywoods perspective,of growing up means to do coming of age movies, which involve sex, drinking, and drugs. Very rarely do they ever include good morals, and boundaries. So by looking at the movies that shes already portrayed her “growing up phase” if this one turns out to be like the writer suggested then it shouldn’t be a shocker, because not being a virgin isnt a big deal in hollywood, its just what happens. So its not a big surprise when the movies contain alot of that attitude as well.

        • @Kimmie_06
          Nono, I didn’t call any of the Bible ridiculous. I said that parts of the Bible taken out of context sounds ridiculous. There’s a section of the bible that says stoning sons = satisfaction (can’t remember which part, sorry), and I was like “wtf?” until a Christian friend found the section of the Bible it was from and it made sense. I am comparing the blog writer taking the plot out of context to the way I can take Bible phrases out of context.

          I don’t know Dakota Fanning very well, so I take your word for her growing up phase and agree that a lot of movies do portray sex in a bad light. Not all media, however, do so. Only uncouth media is featured in the spotlight, so usually one that are more to good taste are looked over. Which is what I meant by saying that not all media should be assumed to put sex on a pedestal.

        • I agree, until we know the entire story we should not assume. But I must point out, Dakota Fanning has not given us any reason to believe she’s going to be a positive role model for girls. I do recall her being in a few movies that could be considered bad examples for girls, and she was recently on the cover of Cosmopolitan, which thoroughly encourages AND glorifies the boy/girl relationship in a manner that is harmful to girls, recommends porn sites, encourages girls to dress extremely provocatively. Cosmopolitan has told girls that it’s OKAY if you found that your boyfriend is cheating on you, makeup sex should bring him back to you! That sort of thing. While she may or may not share those views, the fact that she would agree to pose for the cover of that magazine sort of says what she holds in high esteem in her career at this point. But, like you said, we need to wait and see what the movie is about before we make an example of it. I mainly wanted to clear up the difference between the “judge card” (as someone above said), and discerning. I had other articles in mind also when I posted that.

        • What was twisted and taken out of context? What happens in the movie is irrelevant. It’s main subject matter is sex, which is the point of the post. How all movies revolve around sex outside of marriage or use it within to add spice. I didn’t call Dakota Fanning out. I mentioned both actresses in the movie in the first paragraph and went on to discuss how the subject of sex is in every movie. Also, check out the following link for the difference between judging people and judging acts-

        • If the main subject of this post was about sex out of marriage in movies, then why bring Dakota up at all? Even though your intention was to judge Dakota’s decision to participate in this movie, readers who follow might stop believing in Dakota being a good role model at all – which I’m not sure if that as your intention. I just don’t think highlighting a movie that hasn’t even come out yet is a good move, as you don’t know the plot. Similar to reading the back cover of a book and then going around to other people telling them the contents are bad. /shrug.

          Though, I do respect your post and its ideas. Sex is being mainstreamed and shown too much, especially to young children. I just wish you were able to highlight the issue without pulling names.

    11. This is depressing…. It is almost hurtful just to think that these girls are ruining their reputation this young in life just for fame and fortune. Not only that but some people might look up to them as role models and since they aren’t saying this is wrong and actually supporting it, they could lead others into sin as well….

    12. It’s horrible. It sounds like it’s basically like, ‘The Pregnacy Pact’ & ‘American Pie’ & it’s a shame in schools 2day that instead of teaching abstinance, they teach how 2 put a condom on!

    13. This just makes me sick. Us girls are worth so much more than that! Everyone at my school just can’t wait to lose it, and they all think I’m weird because I’m saving myself. None of the boys at my school wanted anything to do with me because they all knew I wouldn’t put out. But, I met a really nice boy who went to a different school. And when I told him that I was saving myself, he told me that he didn’t care, and he would respect and value my beliefs. He’s such a sweetie. <3 Just goes to show that you WILL find someone who respects you. Just don't give up on what matters most to you!

    14. Well we are in the end times so the fact that society is getting worse and worse and exploiting everything pure and holy isn’t that much of a surprise for me. I myself try to talk common sense into my friends in the benefits of waiting. There is no point of giving up your body to a man you have no future with. That’s why I stopped dating Junior year in high school. Now I’m 17 a freshman in college and still don’t think I’m ready to date guys yet. Because I don’t want to marry yet. And dating is suppose to be towards marriage not just because you like them.

    15. I was introduced to your website by my granddaughter. Having come of age during the so-called ” sexual revolution” and the false “feminism” that was promoted during my youth I am blown away by the truth in God’s message coming from your website. Thank you! Keep shouting it. The Emperor truly has no clothes!

    16. I’m homeschooled. So I’m not constantly bombarded with girls talking about sex and their boyfriends. But seeing it in movies -and hearing of this upcoming one-reading it in books, hearing it on shows: it’s very gross, disturbing, and they make it seem like a very small deal. But it’s not. I’m staying pure until I’m married, and even then I’ll be pure because I waited…but it is so sad how actors/actresses can do all of that…in front of camera and not carry guilt (in the moment at least) and altogether be so ignorant.

    17. I’m homeschooled, and really don’t get a lot of peopleing- except for church events. But I am involved in band at a local school, and sex is taken so lightly there. It’s like it’s everyday to hear that so-and-so is sleeping with so-and-so. It makes me blush because they speak to boldly about their experiences. And recently my sister joined the high-school band and I am always trying to keep her ears from that kind of thing. Sex shouldn’t be mainstream. It is for one man and one woman within marriage. It’s so sad that it’s become so unimportant of an event to lose your virginity. Or important, however you look at it.

    18. I think losing your virginity is something that should happen AFTER marriage! It seems like if you’re a virgin at 20, you’re as rare as a unicorn, and it’s SAD! I’m saving myself for my husband and no dare, friend, boyfriend, or role model, can make me change my mind. I’m sure Cosmo isn’t helping this much. 16 is the average age of virginity loss. The standards are getting sooooo low for teens. It’s cool for them to smoke, drink, do drugs, and sleep around. Hearts broken, lives never started, and pain, all you can eventually get out of premature virginity loss. God bless you guys! <33333

    19. It’s sick that sex has become a focus point of our society, girl in my school talk about it, I have had a talk with a friend who said she thought it was weird I wanted to stay pure, when she saw my purtiy ring. My church just had an event called TAKE A STAND, and our youth group focused on the same topic of sex. I do believe sex was meant for a man and his wife, but society says it’s okay to have sex before marriage,even with many other people. That is just wrong!

    20. If that’s the plot of the movie then that’s a dumb pact to make with someone. It’s almost like the pregnancy pact. A group of girls make a pact to get preggerz and have kids etc. Movies these days are going down hill man -_-”

    21. Its not just Hollywood, there’s this girl on Twitter and a reoccuring Tweet of her’s is “I can’t wait to lose my virginity” and “I’m 14 and I haven’t lost my virginity yet”. She is corrupting all of her followers. And their are a lot. I am saving io to buy a purity ring, and I don’t care if people laugh. My purity and virginity is something I will give to my husband, and no one else.

      • That’s great….I have a purity ring. It’s the most valiable material thing that i have…. It’s precious to me because it symbolizes when one day.. I get married to a special man…and I’ll know i didn’t just give myself away.

      • i ordered a purity ring online and it came about a week ago. It has not come off my finger except when i sleep (because i am scared that i will lose it if i wear it to sleep lol). Even though i’ve only had it for a week it feels like a part of me. I am so proud to wear it. And mine is sooo pretty! Good luck saving for one! It is such a great investment! You will love it 🙂

    22. I think it’s the world… I’mnot surprised.. It’s hollywood. At a certain age, girls tend to want more attention,ect. and they think sex is going to make everything okay like it’s the thing to do. I’m a virgin.. and i’m proud ofit… but i also understand that girls make mistakes. andthat God loves everyone just the same.

    23. That is pretty disappointing, but I will throw this out there: Apparently, both girls fall for the same street artist… I dunno, maybe one of them has sex with him and subsequently has her heart broken. If this is the case, then perhaps it carries a message about the dangers of treating sex trivially. I don’t really have enough faith in Hollywood do think that it would carry a message about abstinence, but it could possibly have one about being careful, I suppose?? =/

      But still, it wouldn’t surprise me if this movie is no good. It’s not like it hasn’t been done before. It’s disheartening, especially for Dakota. She just became a legal adult a few months ago. Fresh meat, right, Hollywood? Bleh.

    24. This movie sets a bad sex is all that life’s about. It’s not a good idea to have sex with more than one person because…
      1. You WILL compare the guys (which will make you feel bad about yourself)).
      2. STDs.
      3. The Bible clearly gives the “No”.
      But if you have lost your virginity before marriage, DO NOT FEEL LIKE YOU’RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR GOD. And definately do not have the perespective of “Oh, well I already lost it so there’s no point of waiting til marriage.” You are worth WAY more than that (:

    25. I think everyone is allowed to live live their own life how they want to! No i do not believe in what Dakota Fanning and Elizabeth Olsen are doing but they have a right to live their lives the way they want to, And if that’s how they want to live their lives so be it we can’t tell them what to to and we can’t make them change. I BELIEVE WE SHOULD LEAVE THEM ALONE TO MAKE THEIR OWN MISTAKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    26. I am the type of person who tries not to judge others. I know I do a lot of the time, but we are all creations of God. I know a lot of people who have sex before marriage, I am planning on waiting and I think more people should do that, but I don’t like being judgmental of people who don’t do the same. I do not think losing your virginity should be something to quickly check off your bucket list to be cool. I believe waiting till marriage is the best option, but if not more people should save their first time for someone who is committed to them and who loves them.

    27. I would say it fuels what is already there!…I mean teens are at an age where hormones are raging already and with sex being the center of everything now…it makes it harder not to think about it..not to be pressured into it…and so on! We, as God’s young daughters, need to join forces and go against this…hold each other accountable…and be wise about the situations we put ourselves into!

    28. One word : WHY ?! I’m a virgin not only because I made promise to myself to wait , But also because I don’t understand whats the whole big deal about having sex . Honestly to me , There are more things in this world to worry about sex & Losing your virginity . Ugh , Why would they make a movie about that ??

    29. She is all so staring in a movie called “Now is Good” it seems like a relly heart-warming movie that makes you cry @ the end… its about a 17-year-old with terminal leukaemia and a sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll-based bucket list – is a prickly and often chilly presence, easy to sympathize with but tough to love. and (including losing her virginity) to him. i am only 15 years only and STILL a virgin and i understand bucket list and everything but…HELP! i relly dont undrstand…why holloywood only goes for sex and love.? what happened to ” Fall in love GET MARRIED the have seX” now its the other way around just HELP :{

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