Is Having Premarital Sex Really a Sin?
Written by Christi Given | November 14, 2016
Every week I go through the “Girl Talk” section of Project Inspired and look for those seeking advice and counsel. I want to help answer some questions you may have about living out your Christian walk of faith and any miscellaneous topics! We want PI to be a safe place where you can ask questions and become bold in your faith. We love you, PI readers!
This week on Project Inspired, a PI girl made a strong statement about her opinion of premarital sex, and this sparks an important subject matter. Click here to read the full post.
“When I joined this site, I thought it was a brilliant place for teen Christians to discuss about being a modern Christian girl and evolving with the times…I would love to start a discussion about something that I know will cause controversy, but I feel needs to be discussed.
“Premarital sex is of course considered a sin in the Bible. I feel though that the Bible and the sins in it have evolved with the times…I have a love for God and know God loves me. Is it so wrong to become intimate with someone who I love and loves me? … I think being a Christian is about a love for God and Jesus. Will I be judged on this site for disagreeing with the some of the ways that I feel are old-fashioned?”
This is, in fact, an important topic and is one that many young people and those who are not yet married struggle with. We know that the Old Testament had some laws and rules that are not enforced today, such as wearing a head covering, and the role of women has changed with regard to their rights because of time and culture. Jesus said that he didn’t come to abolish the law, but rather to fulfill the law (Matthew 5:17).
We see the Old Testament reflect the New Testament and just because we don’t agree doesn’t mean mankind can change or edit God’s Word to suit its own fleshly desires. The entire Bible is God’s breathed word and written by the prophets and his people. The topic of purity has not changed from the Old Testament (before the messiah) and the New Testament (after Jesus died and rose again).
All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. (2 Timothy 3:16-17)
Here are some examples and scriptures on why we should stay pure before marriage and why God wants to bless us within these principles.
1. God is our father and desires to bless us: Why would God advise us in His Word to walk in holiness and purity, especially before marriage? Because when you do this, you set yourself apart and can be reserved for your husband, who will hopefully do the same and have eyes for only you. In a marriage covenant, there is security and safety because there is a commitment for life. With hookups, there is no guarantee that your guy will stay just because you slept together…to be honest, that is out of God’s plan and best interest for you. God loves you like a Father; just trust that His ways are better to protect you (Isaiah 55).
…for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.” (1 Peter 1:16)
2. God can protect you: You may be thinking, well, God seems to ruin the fun or seems to be unfair. If I love my boyfriend, I should be able to do what I want; if I want to make love, isn’t God a God of love? Before you jump to conclusions that the Bible is irrelevant in our day or is outdated, what we must understand is that by waiting for a covenant of marriage, we will be holding out for the best, not having a quick fix or temporary satisfaction. When you resist sexual temptations, you are also avoiding unwanted pregnancies, STDs and/or heartbreak. God loves you. Just like there are street lights, you may not want to stop at a red light, but it could save your life from a car wreck. Pray and ask God for wisdom on the subject (James 1:5).
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. (1 Corinthians 6:18)
3. If a guy loves you, he will respect your purity and will want to honor God:
Men are to be the spiritual leaders, so if he doesn’t honor that prior to marriage, what makes you think he will want to keep that covenant during the marriage? If a guy is pressuring you to hook up with him or to compromise your purity (girls can do this, too), then he is revealing how immature he is and probably cannot handle the commitment of a relationship. The Bible says to guard your heart, so make sure that you ask the Lord who you think you should date or be courted by.
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. (Proverbs 4:23)
4. Many twist love for lust: Having sex is not a symbol of someone’s love for you, but rather it is designed bond a husband and a wife together. Like the Bible says, the two shall become ONE. Not the five people shall become 10. God designed us to be with one person, and if it is hard for you to control your passions, then, yes, God’s Word advises marriage. Ask God to help you, but know God’s Word stands firm regardless of man’s opinion.
…the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. (Mark 10:8)
5. If you have been outside of the marriage covenant, there is forgiveness with genuine repentance: The blood of Jesus shed at Calvary is strong enough to cover over any sin or iniquity (John 3). We must truly repent (turn from) a specific lifestyle, and Jesus says, “Go and sin no more…” (John 8:11). Jesus would heal people and then basically tell them not to go back to their lifestyle or their old ways. Pray for a pure heart and for patience while you wait on God to bring the right man for you as your husband.
For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. (Ephesians 5:23)
PI Girls, do you have any prayer requests? Comment below!
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