Every week I go through the “Girl Talk” section of Project Inspired and look for those seeking advice and counsel. I want to help answer some questions you may have about living out your Christian walk of faith and any miscellaneous topics! We want PI to be a safe place where you can ask questions and become bold in your faith. We love you, PI readers!
Here’s a recent question on the Girl Talk forum about praying with a person of the opposite sex:
“One of my friends firmly believes that praying with someone you’re dating but not married to is wrong, as you are practicing spiritual intimacy. I’m not sure if I agree with her that this is too far spiritually. I can see where she’s coming from in some ways, but at the same time, I would think that’s one of the main ways to keep a relationship centered around God. How can you not pray together if God is the center of your life and relationship? When studying the Bible together, do you not pray God will reveal himself? When eating meals together, do you not ask God to bless your meal and your time together? When one person breaks down, do you not pray for them right there on the spot? What does everyone else think on the matter?”
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I believe praying with a person of the opposite sex is not wrong, but if you are interested in having more than a friendship and have not been in a committed courtship, you may want to guard your heart regarding spiritual intimacy. You may want to refrain from praying together and spending alone time together.
The best solution for someone who is single and is cautious of being bonded to someone spiritually is to hang out in groups. In a group setting, you can pray and you may be involved in a Bible study where you all partake in fellowship, prayer and reading the Word.
If a guy is trying to dig deep and is flirting and wants a romantic relationship with you, but hasn’t committed to you, it’s important to be honest that you want to guard your heart. In order for you to protect yourself, you may not want to share that private information about your life and/or faith-walk until a man of God pursues you and really shows he cares and is worthy of being spiritually intimate with you.
Of course, we want to be loving and pray for one another, but we must also set boundaries so that we don’t get caught up in an intimate relationship that is going nowhere in the future.
Let me clarify some points in response to this PI Girl’s question. Prayer is not bad, especially saying a blessing over your meal. Reading the Bible is not bad, of course, and fellowship is a wonderful thing we need in life, but we need to be cautious if we are giving free information to someone who has not yet earned that spot of being our fiancé or boyfriend. If the person is flirting and just wants our spiritual advice, they may have an alternative motive, if they are not committing. If they do express interest, then it is up to you how deep you want to go, if you think the relationship is in fact going somewhere.
We as single women need to watch and pray and let the man spiritually lead, and he needs to respect that you have feelings, too. If you are sharing private, spiritual insight, you could start getting emotionally attached to this person because of the time you are sowing into his life. If you both want a relationship, then move to the next step and let God lead.