“Is It Okay That He’s Older Than I Am?”
Written by Aysha Ives | August 29, 2013
I really like this guy; the problem is that he’s a few years older than me. Is it okay if I date him? How old is too old?
Dating can be complicated! When two different people try to function together in one relationship, it can be really great or it can end up being pretty bad. To avoid some unnecessary heartache, it’s really important to consider all the factors when deciding if a relationship is appropriate or not. Age is one of those things that matters when you’re a teenager!
Although some people may argue that age doesn’t matter for teen dating, I STRONGLY disagree! As a teenager, it’s probably best to date within a two-year window of your own age. Many of you may be asking “why,” so here’s an explanation.
As you age, you’ll go through different developmental stages. During each stage, your emotional needs, desires and preferences change. This means that what was important to you at 12 years old is different from what’s important to you at 16 years old, and so on. (As you get older, these stages get further apart and age becomes less important.)
If you’re dating someone who is more than a couple of years older or younger than you when you’re still in your teens, you’ll probably run into some pretty BIG differences, which can result in unnecessary conflict and heartache. Also, depending on your ages, there could be legal implications. Dating a guy who is a legal adult (which is 18 years old) could be a really big deal if you’re still a minor.
If you’re thinking about dating a guy who’s a lot older than you, ask yourself these questions first:
- Do I REALLY have anything in common with this guy?
- What are the reasons I want to date him? And are they good reasons?
- Would my parents approve?
- Am I confident around guys my own age?
- Where can I go to meet more like-minded guys my own age?
- Have I prayed about it?
Some potential consequences to dating a much older guy while you’re a teen include:
- Discovering that you have very little in common and breaking up quickly.
- Unwanted peer pressure and increased sexual temptation.
- Unnecessary heartache.
It can be tempting to date a guy who is much older than you, but as a teen, it’s probably not the best idea. Protect your heart! God has the PERFECT guy waiting just for you…be sure to wait until God sends Him your way!
What do you girls think?