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Love

“Is It Okay to Date a Non-Christian?”

Is it okay to date a guy who isn’t a Christian?

Let’s be clear. God loves EVERYONE! However, once you give your life to Christ, God has certain expectations of you as a believer. Since the Bible describes believers as ambassadors who have been sent to Earth for a purpose, EVERY choice you make should focus on promoting His Kingdom. That includes the decisions that you make regarding relationships!

Let’s explore what the Bible says:

“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God.” (2 Corinthians 6:14-16)

God warns his people not to form strong bonds with nonbelievers for a reason. He wants His children to stay focused on Him and He knows that relationships with nonbelievers can become a distraction. Throughout the Old Testament, God became very angry when His people married outsiders because the outsiders always prayed to idols and foreign gods, which became a distraction.

It can be the same when dating people who worship other gods or who don’t believe in God at all. If one of the people you’re closest to (your boyfriend) doesn’t share or value your beliefs, then the enemy can use that as a way to distract you! Soon you may find yourself reading the Bible less, not wanting to go to church or youth group, partying more…and ultimately your relationship with Christ would be impacted.

You may be thinking, This won’t happen to me. I love God so much and no guy can jeopardize my relationship with Him! But keep this in mind: Matthew 26:41 says that The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Although you may not plan to allow yourself to be distracted, the enemy often uses relationships to get Christians off task.

God never changes, and just like in the Old Testament, He still wants His people to avoid romantic relationships with people who don’t worship Him. Therefore, although it may be tough to hear, it’s probably best to avoid dating boys who aren’t Christians.

Also, PLEASE don’t go into a relationship thinking that you can change the guy, because YOU CAN’T! Only The Holy Spirit can change a person. All you can do is witness to him and pray that he’ll one day receive God into his heart.

And consider this: God IS love, so if a guy doesn’t know God (who is love), then is it REALLY possible for him to truly love you with the agape kind of love?

What do you girls think? Have you ever dated a guy who wasn’t a Christian?

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79 Comments

  1. freedomlights

    Posted by freedomlights on January 26, 2014 at 21:38

    I wrote up a list of characteristics I’m looking for in a guy, and for me, number one on my list was that the guy must have a strong relationship with God. The Bible says that we should “not be unequally yolked” (2 Cor. 6:14), and that is what I hold to. While it is possible that you could minister to the guy, it’s a heck of a lot easier to pull someone down than it is to hoist them up, so to speak. To me, it’s extremely important in a relationship to be able to freely communicate and talk about faith-related issues. If I can’t do that with someone, it’s not going to work out. Sometimes it might work out, but personally, I would say “no” to anyone who is not a Christian. It’s hard to ignore feelings for someone, and it can appear “shallow” or “prejudiced” to others for only dating Christians, but that is what I believe and hold to. I completely respect anyone else’s beliefs, but those are mine. (:

  2. jesusrocksmysocks78

    Posted by jesusrocksmysocks78 on January 14, 2014 at 16:00

    i’m considering dating a nonChristian…. maybe we should just be friends… but thats going to be hard, because we both like eachother alot at this point…. ugh he’s going to be to upset :'(

  3. Madhatter

    Posted by Madhatter on January 10, 2014 at 10:26

    Well… my personal believe is that the absolute most important attribute of any guy I could be interested in is that he has to be a Christian in the same way I am. (I am a non-denominational Christian.) I personally think it is extremely important that he believes the same thing as me because if he doesn’t, it is possible it could work out, but it is not likely that it will. Although there is definitely the encouraging cases where the guy becomes a Christian there are also the many cases that turn out well. That is my opinion. 🙂

  4. Project Inspired

    Posted by ivyandroses on January 9, 2014 at 19:48

    I only dated someone once, and he was not a Christian. At the time, I was not exceptionally Christian either; I believed in God and Jesus and the Holy Ghost, but did not particularly act on that belief.
    Even then, it was a terrible idea. I remember one day, in the middle of the relationship, I had plans to go to church, and he talked me out of it. I won’t blame him entirely, because of course it had been my duty to push past those sorts of things and go anyways. But it was my first step to becoming a much more religious person, I was more than a little terrified, and it didn’t take much for me to be swayed off that path.

    After we broke up, I became Catholic, and looking back, I do not think it was a good idea to date him. He did not respect religion in any way – he spoke proudly several times of how he once converted someone to atheism, and held a very negative view of faith in general.

    I don’t know. I know very few Christians out there, but maybe someday. I’ve begun going to mass again, and I’m trying to get more involved with the Christian community at school and at church. Perhaps I can make some friends, perhaps even find somebody.

  5. haleyb314

    Posted by haleyb314 on January 9, 2014 at 18:41

    I just have to say that I know a guy that dated a girl that wasn’t in church. In fact, she was just about as far out of church as you can get. Then she went with him to church a few times just because she liked him. Then she listened to the church service. Then she participated. Then she began going regularly. Then she was baptized. Then she became a Sunday School teacher for the elementary age school kids. I’m NOT NOT NOT NOT NNNNOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTT saying that this will garunteed work. I personally think this is a rather special case with this particular girl I mentioned. I would personally say that sure, date them, but BE CAUTIOUS and BE FAITHFUL TO GOD. If you sense that they aren’t going to even try to go to church with you within the first little bit, I would have to say it would probably be best to break it off then. Also, DO NOT attempt if you are even slightly weak in faith. That can lead to questions you don’t want to answer and that leads to doubt and by then you’ve already strayed from you walk with God.

    (btw the boy is my ex and the girl is me 🙂 )

  6. Project Inspired

    Posted by Soccerfan99 on December 1, 2013 at 21:09

    There’s these two boys that like me…well I think they like me…one goes to my youth group and church the other lives on my block…one I have a crush on the other I don’t, until now….I don’t wanna have a crush on this one kid I’m supposed to like the one at my youth group WHAT DO I DO?!?!

    • jesuswasajew

      Posted by jesuswasajew on December 27, 2013 at 18:13

      sweetie, follow your heart. I know its hard to like a boy that is not as dedicated to God and Jesus as you (been there, done that), but if God set your heart to follow the boy not in your youth group, maybe you are his personal angel, sent from God to redeem him, and I think you should!!!
      Amen. Stay Holy.

  7. Project Inspired

    Posted by Christianlyric on December 1, 2013 at 19:33

    Okay, so there’s this guy that I know likes me. But I know he’s not a Christian and I know I shouldn’t date him. But I’m scared of saying that I don’t really like him and that I’m looking for a Christian because I don’t want to hurt his feelings or make things weird between us because we’re still friends and everything. Any advice would be great!

  8. Project Inspired

    Posted by Amh212610 on November 27, 2013 at 08:26

    Dating a Non-Christian is doing exactly what the Bible says not to do when it says that we should not be unequally yoked.

    Ultimately in a God-honoring relationship, both people should be striving to put God first, and that can’t happen if both are not believers.

    There are always stories where dating non-believers seems to “work out” but it is still not honoring to God and not what he wants for us.

  9. Project Inspired

    Posted by katek on November 11, 2013 at 06:51

    Is it okay to disagree with this article? Of course, dating someone who is the same religion as you makes everything easier, but dating someone who isn’t Christian can still work out. I believe that as long as they are devout in whatever religion they are and they respect your beliefs, it is fine to date them. I’m saying this because I have the perfect example:

    My brother is friends with this boy who went to our school (it was a catholic school so mostly everyone was catholic). However, this boy’s father is Jewish. His mother was Catholic but she died in childbirth. The mother wanted all her kids to be Catholic, so the father has honored her wish and raised all three of their kids Catholic. He has gotten them to church every Sunday, helped them prepare for Confirmation, and put them through a Catholic grade school and high school. Even though he isn’t the same religion, he has proven that he is a man of virtue and faith by honoring his wife’s beliefs.

  10. Project Inspired

    Posted by madelineroxane on November 10, 2013 at 03:43

    I was greatly moved by this article. Really, cause I am now undergoing a situation like this. If you don’t mind guys, I’d just like to pour out my emotions about this topic. I have a crush with this guy, who is actually one of my co-workers. He’s very responsible, intelligent, hardworking and all the things you would ask a guy to be. Actually he has that dreamboy aspect a girl wishes every night. Unfortunately, He’s not a Christian. He’s Catholic. But yeah, I know that I can pray for Him for God to move his heart one day in accordance to His will. But there’s this other guy, who is also my co-worker, who is also a Catholic and one of my first closest friends since working in that company. We grew very close until to the point that we’re now texting each other everyday. As in everyday. We had our ups and downs, like being sensitive at times or having misunderstanding, but we talked and fixed things and grew it out which made our friendship much stronger. But with all those happenings, I noticed how he is always pursuing me, whether in text or in person, how he always says that I am important to him, that I am one of the people who is very important to Him right now, that He always like to be with me, that He misses me, and all of those sparks that makes your heart says “Wow, is that really you? Is this really happening?”. So now, I don’t know how to react. I try to be normal with him at times or just be like a normal, crazy, close friend to him, but whenever he’s there or comes towards me, I just feel stiff or I can’t just be the same. It’s like my heart always beats fast whenever he comes or talks to me. And the longing for him being there, grew and grew. Until now, I just want to talk to Him forever. But I don’t want that. First of all, I treated him first as a “Brother”. I even call him “kuya” pertaining to elder brothers here in the Philippines. And I don’t want to loose that. So what I do, is to divert my mind and even my heart to the teases they make with my original crush so that I would forget the growing feelings I’m having with the other one. Actually, I always pray and pray that it will all turn out good at the end. But its just hard right now to be mutual with him as with my feelings that keeps on growing. 🙁 At some point, I just cry to my sleep because of the confusion I’m experiencing now. I need your help PI girls. Really. 🙁 Would appreciate all your comments, whether it may be good or bad. Thank you very much! God bless everyone!

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by katek on November 11, 2013 at 06:34

      You don’t need to worry at all! Catholics are Christian! I’m Catholic and people are always thinking that we are completely separated from Christianity. We believe in God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, everything! Of course there are a few differences between Catholicism and Protestant Christians but not enough to not give this boy a chance. I know of a lot of relationships between Protestants and Catholics that work out just fine. I hope this helped!

      • breanna17

        Posted by breanna17 on November 15, 2013 at 10:40

        First off, denominations are man made. There wasn’t even supposed to be any denominations, just the belief of Jesus Christ, God, and the Holy Spirit. God intended us to follow after the Bible, and love all. (But looking back in the bible, these things have to take place.)
        So it doesn’t matter if a baptist dates a pentecost. Or a catholic dates a protestant. Just the fact that the couple have the belief of Jesus, God, Holy Spirit, and belief in living life through the Holy Bible. This is all that matters. Pray about the new crush and see if it is God’s will. I believe firmly as the Bible says, one must not be yoked together with an unbeliever. A Christian shouldn’t yoke with someone who doesn’t believe in God. In so many cases this causes further problems. Talk to God if you meet an unbeliever because you never know if He might use you to influence Him into Christianity. Pray about everything. Prayer and fasting is key.

  11. Project Inspired

    Posted by Emilygrace2014 on November 4, 2013 at 16:24

    This is really good I totally agree!! Girls I have made this mistake twice and i felt destroyed by it. Not only by losing them but because I knew my flesh had devowered me. It’s always better to just be friends. Be honest with the guy and tell him u like him as a person but u don’t believe in dating outside ur religion. It’s a lagitament reason. If he’s a good guy he will respect u without being his gf. Plus some of the sweetest part of your relationship is going to be on a spiritual level. U will completely miss out! A man of God is 100000 times better than one who isn’t because it’s the way god intended fr him to lead u spiritually. Unequally yoked doesnt always mean an unbeliever but also someone less mature in their faith than u. The right guy will build u up in Christ not tear u down so don’t settle for less girls! God bless:)

  12. Project Inspired

    Posted by CrossCarrier on October 22, 2013 at 19:04

    I kind of wish I would have read this article a few months ago. I became friends with a boy from my school who claimed to be a Christian but I knew didn’t live like one. We grew closer as friends and began dating over summer. Everything was perfect at the beginning. I started bringing him to my church and I was falling more and more in love with him everyday. About a month into the relationship, things began to change. My boyfriend started getting very overprotective and jealous of my guy friends. At first, I thought this was natural and he was just being cute. I gave it some time and it began to get worse. First he just told me that it bothered him, then he told me he wanted me to stop taking to my friends, then he wanted me to delete them off my facebook. I began to feel trapped. Then it got scary. My boyfriend told me he cuts himself when he gets jealous. I felt so scared. If I talked to guys I knew he would go home and cut himself and I did NOT want him to do that. He started fighting with me more, saying all I do is flirt with guys and that its all my fault for his self harm. Finally I couldn’t take it anymore so I told him I wanted to break up. He got very angry and cussed at me (which he did quite often) and threatened to kill himself. I called his mom right away and he was put into the hospital or a week. When he got out we tried to make things work but it just got worse. The next day he had a new girlfriend….. See girls, this is why you shouldn’t date non-christians, because if they don’t enhance your relationship with Christ all they do it pull you away with Christ. Please save yourself the heart break and find a boy that loves Christ and lives a Godly lifestyle. If only I would have known this I might not be so heartbroken. Goodluck girls, God bless! <3

  13. Project Inspired

    Posted by bradyfan on October 14, 2013 at 22:07

    I work with a guy who really likes me, and I really like him. But he’s not a believer. He asked me out once, and I told him he could come to church with me instead. He said he would come if I told him when, but I never did because I thought it would be encouraging him that we could start a relationship. So I tried ignoring him for a while, hoping he would just forget about me; but he just got his feelings hurt. When he sees me at work, he’s really glad to see me, and I have to admit I’m glad to see him too. He has been extremely polite, and does not try to pressure me to date him; but I know we are attracted to each other and he will probably ask me again sometime. And so I’m praying God will give me wisdom how to respond when that happens, because I really don’t want to hurt him. He is one of the most respectful and nice guys I know. But I do not want to start a relationship with a non-believer. Any suggestions?

    • Rosie0109

      Posted by Rosie0109 on October 20, 2013 at 16:55

      If he asks you out again, invite him to your church again, whether it be for a service or a church event (which, by the way, can make great dates), and this time tell him when and encourage him to come. If the feelings you have for each other persist, then there is a possibility that God does intend for you to be together, at least for a short time. Maybe you are the one who is supposed to lead him to Christ. I’d suggest praying about it. God will reveal His plan for you both in His own time. 🙂

      • Project Inspired

        Posted by katek on November 11, 2013 at 06:41

        ^I agree! He seems to be very open about letting God in his life. Also, is he atheist or another religion? In my opinion, if he is devout in another religion, it is fine to date him as long as he respects your beliefs. Being devout in another religion still shows he is a man of faith, virtue, and morality; he may just have been raised differently. Plus, you could always lead him to Christ.

  14. BrooklynGirl2015

    Posted by BrooklynGirl2015 on October 13, 2013 at 20:06

    From experience it does not work. He will never treat u the way you should and you won’t see eye to eye. I want someone not only who will encourage me but encourage me with the word of God. It may not seem like a difference but it does. Besides, there is no rush. God had the master plan so don’t rush it just let it rock and God will provide you with what u need when you are ready

  15. Neeca_Warrior4Christ

    Posted by Neeca_Warrior4Christ on October 13, 2013 at 14:21

    EXACTLY! I want a boy who TRULY loves God with his whole heart and who is a REAL Christian. A guy who serves the Lord will truly love you, know how to treat you, and he would know his limits & boundaries with you. 🙂 <3 #WANT-THAT-GUY

  16. diamondgirl.garland

    Posted by diamondgirl.garland on October 12, 2013 at 21:06

    “Is it a sin to date a non-Christian?”
    “Well it’s not a sin to eat a lawn-mower, it’s just not a good idea.”-Pastor Mark Driscoll

    -Just thought I’d leave this here 🙂

  17. ladyBug1

    Posted by ladyBug1 on October 12, 2013 at 19:25

    A house divided will fall!

  18. meggertyogurt

    Posted by meggertyogurt on October 9, 2013 at 18:44

    I believe that if you set your boundaries and make them firm while you’re dating, there’s no problem. It’s a different story if you’re planning on getting married to this person because God says that we should be equally yoked.

  19. JesusFreakySongbird

    Posted by JesusFreakySongbird on October 4, 2013 at 18:02

    I’ve been in this boat before, so I say BE CAREFUL!!! It’s very hard to date someone who isn’t a believer. Not all guys are like this, but the guy I was with ended up treating me majorly wrong and crossed the boundaries we had agreed on. The Bible says “do not be yoked with unbelievers” for a reason. Now, that being said, I’m not saying it’s impossible and maybe the Lord will use you in his life for the better, but be on your guard okay? 🙂

  20. Project Inspired

    Posted by christiangirlythings on October 2, 2013 at 16:52

    So today I just got asked out by one of my friends and he’s one of the nicest guys I have met but he isn’t a beliver. I really like him though and I’m so torn. I don’t know what to do. He’s a really good guy!!
    Help! Advice!

    • Rosie0109

      Posted by Rosie0109 on October 20, 2013 at 16:57

      Talk to him! If you both like each other and it’s meant to be, then God will work things out in the end!

    • savabbi

      Posted by savabbi on October 3, 2013 at 15:42

      The guy I like isn’t either, and I thought it would be hard to talk to him but it really isn’t……. we go to church together and he fits in perfect with me and my friends who are saved….. we are not pushing our beliefs on him but we do talk to him and try to witness to him!!!!

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by CowgirlJazz on October 2, 2013 at 23:43

      I wish I could help… not very experienced but I’m gonna try…
      I don’t know how well you know him, but perhaps be friends with him for a while longer until you know him better…? Maybe hang out with a group of friends together?

  21. Project Inspired

    Posted by CowgirlJazz on October 1, 2013 at 18:18

    Hello Aysha,

    I know it’s about guys who are non-christians… I figured this counted… I mean, I don’t really know this guy. I just ride the bus with him twice a week from a college class I take, he’s right around my age but he’s a Mormon… lol. I figured that was better than not believing in God at all, and in all likelihood I won’t ever date him… I only know his name because someone addressed him by his name… and he doesn’t know who I am.
    But what about that kind of situation? It just got me thinking, if for some reason I come across a guy like that again in the future and we have feelings for each other… what do I do? Is that bad if we fall in love?

  22. Project Inspired

    Posted by misssproat on September 27, 2013 at 20:32

    Sometimes, the man God has for you is not a Christian and you lead him to Christ, like with my parents. If it was not for my mom, my dad wouldn’t be the strong Christian man he is now. But these are dangerous wayers so before you try to swim, make sure you’ve prayed about it and your lifeguard Jesus is beside you.

  23. HetaliaFangirl4ever

    Posted by HetaliaFangirl4ever on September 26, 2013 at 20:46

    Well I personally disagree with this. Well although I’m a senior I’ve never dated anyone, but I believe that if you and the guy (that is not Christian) could get along and respect eachother’s differences, then I think you can be together. There are a lot of atheists with good morals I have quite a few friends who I have known for years (one of them is one of my best friends) who don’t have a religion, and they’re all good people and they respect me for my beliefs and I respect their opinion. Anyway the Christian way is to accept everyone right? I’m sorry this is just my opinion. If you know that the guy will respect you then I’d say go for it.

    • Cally2009

      Posted by Cally2009 on November 2, 2013 at 19:00

      I have to say something, when you said ‘Anyway the Christian way is to accept everyone right?’ I have learned different in my church. In my church, my pastor’s always saying that we can’t accept everyone like gays and lesbians. I agree with you that we should accept everyone, but my church doesn’t agree with me, even though I never said that to anyone but my parents.

    • KittyEphesians429

      Posted by KittyEphesians429 on September 27, 2013 at 03:37

      I totally agree with you on the acceptance part, and respect is great. However, there are more pieces to the puzzle. We are called to be so lost in god that nothing else is more important. If that’s how it’s supposed to work, how can we be truly close to him? And another part that most people don’t know except from experience: it hurts. A lot. One of my athiest friends and i were extremely close. But when i started getting closer to God my heart started breaking for her. It is incredibly painful to love someone even in a friendly way, if you know that if something were to happen you wouldn’t see him or her in heaven. How can anyone deal with that when emotions are even stronger? And now we have drifted apart because we lost things in common. My center of focus is always (or i am always trying to make it) God. Hers isn’t. These relationships don’t last and they mess with your emotions.
      Thanks and i mean full respect for your opinions, i just wanted to say this. 🙂 And sorry if i just ruined your morning. 🙂

  24. Project Inspired

    Posted by princssbeks on September 26, 2013 at 14:07

    Just thought I’d share a personal testimony of mine to go along with this…
    We met about a month before graduation (I’m 18 and so is he) and he was so sweet and into me and we started talking and hanging out a lot and just having a lot of mutual attraction 🙂 even after just hanging out once or twice we just clicked and it was so awesome to be with him. I was really conflicted though, because even though I knew he’d grown up in a Christian home, I just didn’t think we were on the same page faith-wise. I’m far from perfect, but I have a strong relationship with God and I just got the impression that for him (Jack), God wasn’t something he’d sacrifice everything for. BUT he was at a place in his life where he’d gone through so many hard things and so many scars from the past, he was desperate to come back to God, whether he knew it or not. Through this relationship, I can say with confidence and humility that I helped him in his relationship with Christ. At first I was really afraid of getting too involved without him being a strong Christian, but he’s grown sooo much just in the 5 months I’ve known him. He was so intimidated at first when we went to this Christian youth conference and everyone was dancing and jumping and singing, but by the end of the evening he was crying/dancing/singing with everyone and I was just like… wow, God You are amazing 🙂 Look what You’ve done in his life 🙂 I felt so much peace about becoming “official” before I left for college last month, and it’s just been really cool to see him grow how Jack has helped and supported me as a woman of faith. Neither of us is perfect by any means, but that’s where God’s grace comes in, and it’s been such a testimony to me to see how God has reclaimed Jack’s heart for Him… and somehow He let him love me too 🙂 So yeah, that’s my testimony. If you aren’t positive, and if you’re struggling in your relationship with God, be so so so so cautious about developing feelings for a non-Christian. BUT God CAN work in any situation… so keep your heart protected but open 🙂 the end 🙂 <3

  25. Project Inspired

    Posted by ARu on September 26, 2013 at 03:08

    I am in love with a ‘non-believer’ or so he ‘was’. See when I first met my boyfriend, I claimed to be a Christian, being that I’ve lived all my life, knowing the religion, practicing it, being raised in it and so-on. But I wasn’t strictly all about the ‘Christian Lifestyle’. So I ignored his beliefs and continued a relationship with him. Down the road, we had a few debates about human beings, our origins and such and it always resulted in a heated argument about God’s existence. Of course, I defended Christ and constantly assured my boyfriend that He is definitely real. And my boyfriend would either ignore this fact or brush it off, like he knew I was telling the truth but he didn’t want to believe it, (maybe?). To give you a little insight, my boyfriend comes from a family of Buddhists, so I wasn’t completely persuaded to give up on him, being that he didn’t grow up learning about God, the way I did. So in a way it was excusable to me. But then again, he is a grown man, so he can openly follow God upon choice! Anyway, back on track, a few days ago I caught a ‘Holy Ghost’. One that I’ve been praying for. I found myself crying over Jesus and feeling like I was finally ready to live a true Christian life. And on this new quest to find Jesus, my boyfriend wasn’t exactly up for it, because I asked him to refrain from sexual intercourse with me. Later that day, with a little advice from my family, I came to the conclusion that after a year-old relationship, it was time for me and my boyfriend to separate. That night, we spoke and basically, I let him go. And within a few minutes of our break-up, he asks me if we can start over. And with that he confessed his jealousy of my love for God and requested that I help him find out who God is. He asked me to hep him become a Christian man because he loves me enough and wants to know what all the hype is about, lol. So with that, I took it as a message from God to help this young man and turn him into a man of God through constant demonstration, daily advice, love and so-on. I am hoping and praying he is the man God ordered to marry me, with my help of turning him into a BELIEVER IN CHRIST! But I also have to prepare myself for the fact that this may also, not lead to marriage but to another saved human being or simply not. That is the hardest part for me. Everyone, please help pray that this young man finds God, ultimately and secondly that he IS the one for me, but if not, let me remain in Christ.
    Thanks all.

  26. ILoveRunning

    Posted by ILoveRunning on September 25, 2013 at 21:13

    My freshman year of high school, I started dating a guy who I had been super close friends with since second grade. I went into in thinking religion wasn’t going to be a big deal even though he wasn’t a Christian. BIG MISTAKE. It seemed like a perfect relationship at first. When we had been together for about six months, God got my attention and told me it wasn’t the right thing to be doing. God showed me that the things my boyfriend valued in a relationship were different, and if we were to continue the relationship, our goals would be different as well. Thinking ahead as to what you want to get out of a relationship is a great way to see more clearly that you need a Christian guy. Set your expectations high for yourself.

  27. GigiJR

    Posted by GigiJR on September 25, 2013 at 19:29

    Weird it told me that the comment publication had failed, so I assumed it was too long. So I cut it down & tried again. I guess the system was just joking with me. 😛

  28. GigiJR

    Posted by GigiJR on September 25, 2013 at 19:16

    I really appreciated this: ‘Since the Bible describes believers as ambassadors who have been sent to Earth for a purpose, EVERY choice you make should focus on promoting His Kingdom. That includes the decisions that you make regarding relationships!’
    I’m always excited when God gives me an opportunity to break through my clouded vision & see HIS vision for what my life should be focused on: Glorifying him & furthering his kingdom.
    I really hope that when I get to the point of ‘being in a relationship’ I can enter into it with God’s vision in mind, & I honestly don’t see myself being able to seek God’s kingdom while romantically linked with a non-believer.

  29. GigiJR

    Posted by GigiJR on September 25, 2013 at 19:08

    I really appreciated this: “Since the Bible describes believers as ambassadors who have been sent to Earth for a purpose, EVERY choice you make should focus on promoting His Kingdom. That includes the decisions that you make regarding relationships!”
    I think all too often we, as Christian teenage girls, think about relationships, and most things in life, in a way that seems to say, “How can I enjoy life the most without breaking God’s rules?” I’m just as guilty of this as anyone.
    But what excites me is when God gives me an opportunity to break through my clouded vision & see His vision for what our lives should be focused on: Glorifying him & furthering his kingdom.
    I really hope that when I get to the point of ‘being in a relationship’ I can enter into it with God’s vision in mind, & I honestly don’t see myself being able to seek God’s kingdom while romantically linked with a non-believer.

  30. Exlon

    Posted by Exlon on September 25, 2013 at 19:07

    I would just like to pitch in another good reason for not dating a non-Christian. Even if you really think your faith is unshakable, then what about the guy you’re with? Wouldn’t it break your heart to see someone you care for so much not know God? If you got married someday, could you stand living your whole life with someone you know is not going to heaven? Could you bear knowing that while you had eternal life, this person you cherished so much did not? Because that’s what hurt me most about being with my boyfriend. I witnessed to him and prayed for him constantly, and while he had an interest in Christ for a short time, eventually he decided he didn’t want to believe in God at all. He knew that I said we couldn’t be together if he wasn’t a Christian, and even though neither of us wanted to give our relationship up, he ended up leaving in the end anyway. And it still hurts now, but if we had stayed together and I had lived my whole life watching him be separate from God, I don’t think think I could have handled it.

  31. Project Inspired

    Posted by Gods_girl4life on September 25, 2013 at 17:09

    That’s one of the reasons I broke up with my boyfriend, He said he was a Hellenistic. He was really rude to my little brother and sister and I didn’t like that! If he can’t accept my family then I don’t need to be with him!

  32. Project Inspired

    Posted by dedicated on September 25, 2013 at 16:26

    I debated whether or not it was okay to date my three-year crush for a long time, and convinced myself to overlook it. I ended up breaking up with him a few months later, and I have realized more since then that he wasn’t the kind of guy I want to pledge my life to, much less the one God has in store for me. It was a good learning experience I suppose, but it hurt him, which hurt me because I did care about him, and I know now that it was a bad idea.

  33. Nicolemariev

    Posted by Nicolemariev on September 25, 2013 at 15:21

    3 rules, ladies.

    1. Don’t date non-Christians. Can you see yourself marrying a man who is willingly going to hell? That sounds harsh, but looking at the big picture, that’s essentially what’s going to happen. That is, if you take dating seriously and you see it as a means to marriage. Personally, I won’t date a guy if I don’t consider him to be the kind of guy I’d want to marry.

    2. Don’t date NEW Christians (i.e. “he accepted Jesus as his Savior 2 weeks ago, so now I can date him!” NO. Wait until he has a firm foundation in Christ first. Give him time to focus on his new relationship with God. Wait a year–he might change his mind about God in a month or so. Lots of people are fickle and run away at a moment’s notice. Remember the parable of the seeds.

    3. Don’t date wishy-washy Christian guys. You know–the kind that have been going to church for years, but outside of church they act completely different. Speaking from experience, you don’t want that kind of guy. TRUST ME. He will drag you down with him, especially is you’re insecure and he’s not serious about the things of God.

    BE WARY OF WOLVES. God bless.

  34. Meleana

    Posted by Meleana on September 25, 2013 at 14:19

    What if you’re with someone who isn’t Christian and you are now, but you weren’t when you got together?

  35. Project Inspired

    Posted by ctenn6 on September 25, 2013 at 13:01

    A woman’s heart should be so lost in God that a man must seek Him in order to find her.

  36. Project Inspired

    Posted by elviangie17 on September 25, 2013 at 12:33

    Well hello. My dad is a preacher, and he always teach our family not to be too strict. And we ourselves are Protestant, you may say the liberal one. I will straightly say my opinion about it. I myself prefer not to date non-Christian, especially someone with a very different way of thinking with myself. My parents will probably be so upset if I date one, remembering my dad’s status. But here is a thing. I’ll quote my dad for this. He says that any kind of love, is equal, and it’s from God. Gay, lesbian, straight, interracial, inter religions, it’s all the same. Actually there was a problem in my church lately about this. Our member is married to a Muslim girl, and things got complicated. What my dad said was, “Of course I personally will be happy if you wanna be a Christian. But as a preacher, I can’t force you to do that. If you decide to be one, just do it right. Do it right, in any religions. It would be better you stay becoming a Muslim, if after becoming a Christian, you do bad things.”

    So from that, I can conclude that no matter what your religion is, just do goods for your God. It would be better he stays exactly what he is, if after becoming a Christian, he is even worse. But once again, I personally prefer Christian. But well, it’s God who decides who he is. If you are meant to be together, no matter what your religion is, you’ll be together eventually. I hope this will help. If you wanna talk about things, just contact me. God bless.

  37. alaskanrainbowgirl@gmail.com

    Posted by alaskanrainbowgirl@gmail.com on September 25, 2013 at 08:46

    My boyfriend that I am dating is not a believer in God, but I don’t want to break up with him.. Am I going to hurt myself, and my relationship with God if I don’t? I seriously don’t want to break up with him.. :/

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by dedicated on September 25, 2013 at 16:19

      First of all, this is a matter to pray about of course. With that said, since you are already in a relationship, I don’t think you should break up with him solely on the basis of this article. Maybe it’s me overthinking things, but for one it would sound really cruel, and maybe even give him a negative impression of Christianity. If your relationship seems to be going well, he would definitely want to know why you’re ending it.
      You still want to keep the message of this article in mind though. The article, and Nicolemariev, make excellent points about getting into relationships, but it is really hard to address an already existing relationship with such certainty. Be very wary that he doesn’t get in the way with your relationship with Christ. And don’t expect him to change because of your relationship with Christ, particularly without expecting him to change you as well. (I have somewhat made this mistake, since my only boyfriend was atheist and not budging even when I skirted the issue – even sort of idolizing me: super awkward! Make the Son of Man your Sun or other figurative celestial bodies please, not me) After prayer and contemplation on top of this article, though, you could break up with him if it is actually God’s plan for YOU, not the advice of an article written to hundreds or thousands of girls. In that case, you would be breaking up with him because dating him doesn’t make sense for the long term goal: one day getting married and committing your lives and families to eachother. And little things might start sticking out to you because of your differing faiths that start to make the relationship feel a little off, so it might even come on its own.
      Well I hope this helped… and wasn’t just me ranting… Bottom line, pray to God about it and don’t outrule it, but do not ruin your relationship simply because you have begun to wonder whether breaking up with him is the right thing.

      • alaskanrainbowgirl@gmail.com

        Posted by alaskanrainbowgirl@gmail.com on September 26, 2013 at 13:17

        I already broke up with him yesterday…;-; 1. Because our relationship was inappropriate, I am 17 he is 20. He agrees with that statement I put out there. It is wrong for him to date me and me to date him. 2. I don’t think I am ready for a relationship, I thought I was but I am not. 3. It hurts like hell still, I feel as if a piece of me is lost, and now there is this gaping hole. But whenever I talk to him that feeling goes away. Like that missing piece is him, it fit so perfectly. Yea maybe me and him are meant to be but not right now. Just not right now.. so until I am 18 I am focusing on God. This was a super super tough decision but I did it for the sake of both me and him. I still love him very much, but I am just not ready. I am not emotionally ready. I know God can heal this broken hole I feel in my heart, I literally don’t feel hole I can literally feel as if something is missing, I feel the rest of my heart but there is one piece missing. In my thoughts I thought it was my boyfriend. But I know only God can fill that gaping hole in my heart that I feel right now. I am just afraid that I will never see Zachary again. So I am holding on to that gaping pain.. because I just don’t wanna loose him again. We keep splitting, life keeps trying to pulls us apart but somehow one way or another, we are always back together again. I don’t know how or why, I guess I may even think that it’s part of God’s plan. I don’t know. I honestly don’t know right now, I am in pain.. and I don’t know what to do.

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by xamazingxgracex on September 25, 2013 at 15:53

      Whoa, wait a sec Nicolemariev…
      We know way too little about Bethanie Hudson’s relationship to advise her to break up with her boyfriend, simply because he is not a Christian. Breaking up like that would cause more unnecessary heartbreak.
      I know that one person can’t bring God to another singlehandedly, but one person can surely live as a Christian and spread the Word through their example and lives – and with the holy spirit, who knows what positive changes can happen in another person who sees that? And I’m sure, Bethany, if you have a healthy relationship with your boyfriend, you guys can talk about these things. Relationships are two-way streets…. don’t make a decision without talking it out and understanding the other side of it.
      Hope you and your boyfriend have a great relationship 🙂

    • Nicolemariev

      Posted by Nicolemariev on September 25, 2013 at 15:26

      Cut your losses now. Save yourself the heartache. The longer you stay in the relationship, the more painful the breakup.

  38. sarahodie

    Posted by sarahodie on September 24, 2013 at 19:34

    My best friend is currently dating an atheist. I don’t know what to do! She says she’s strong enough but she really isn’t! I worry about her because she’s my best friend, but she won’t listen to me when I tell her the bible says not to be unevenly yoked. H E L P!!!!!

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by dedicated on September 25, 2013 at 16:23

      Definitely pray for her. And I agree that you should be with her. I wouldn’t point out things wrong with her relationship too much because she might just push you away. Maybe mentioning any areas of her relationship with God that seem to be ailing would help though? It might make her consider what might be causing her to stumble.

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by elviangie17 on September 25, 2013 at 12:42

      Hey Sarah!

      What can I say is you should keep your eyes on her, just believe her, and if it turns out you’re right about her being fragile, be there for her. Just be her best friend, as you’re supposed to be. She just needs your back, so give her one! They are a couple in love, your words won’t even mean a thing for her, trust me. Just do what I said. All you can do is praying for her so she has the strength. As I said, if they aren’t meant to be together, they will not be together forever. The Bible says “Do not fear” a lot of time. It’s God’s job, not yours.

      I hope this will help. God bless you and your friend. 🙂

  39. Godsbabygirl2007

    Posted by Godsbabygirl2007 on September 21, 2013 at 19:44

    All of my ex boyfriends were non Christians. It is not good! They lead you away from the things of God and though they were all good guys in their own way, they weren’t what God has for me. To be honest, I even just turned down a relationship with a guy I had feelings for for 3 years because I prayed to God and asked him if he wasn’t the guy to take the feelings I had for him away, and he did. The guy is a nice guy, but he’s not a strong Christian, he’s more of a dabbling Christian and that’s not what God has for me or any of his girls. He loves all his children and wants the best for his daughters. So girls, be patient! I’m 25 and I still haven’t found the right man for me, trust in God and his timing and when things flow together under his timing…it will be perfect!

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by Tarisai on September 26, 2013 at 03:38

      My Youth leader, she is 28 and she got married a few weeks just returned last week from her honeymoon. But she is really, happy and I cant agree with you more, its people like you and her who remind me that God has his time, and finding him first before a serious relationship is the way to go:)

  40. ChristianVoice

    Posted by ChristianVoice on September 21, 2013 at 16:17

    I totally agree with you, Jessica and Amanda! Also, why would you need to be in a relationship with a nonbeliever in order to show him God’s love? You can show him and others that love just as well as friends. God doesn’t want your faith to be compromised through a relationship to save another. He is plenty powerful enough to do that without risking your faith. Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” When the heart is involved, we often don’t think clearly. The Lord examines our hearts and minds, and He knows what sort of temptations we will face. Trust Him when he says “Do not be yoked with unbelievers.” God knows what’s best for us 🙂

  41. JessicaLS

    Posted by JessicaLS on September 21, 2013 at 07:18

    If God is first in your life (you seek Him with all your heart)….then God will give you the desires of your heart. Therefore, He will give you a CHRISTIAN man to court, because he should also be a man after God’s own heart. God should be first.
    Ladies, don’t compromise for the sake of “converting a man over to Christianity.” Many christians think they can convert their non-Christian bf or gf over….but it normally backfires. We’re weak. When we fall in love with someone we can see and touch, God (who we can’t see and touch) gets pushed back without us even realizing it until we’ve gone too far.
    Just wait on God. You don’t NEED a bf or gf. You need God… Everything else will follow when we put Him first. He promises to supply all our needs.

  42. PureLife

    Posted by PureLife on September 20, 2013 at 19:40

    I don’t totally agree with this. I think it’s perfectly fine to date non-Christians! It can make your faith stronger, and it’s possible that you could be the person who shows Christianity to a non-believer and spread God’s word. If you notice you’re focused less on Him, then take some time and space for yourself from the non-believer until you regain it. No harm done.

    • JessicaLS

      Posted by JessicaLS on September 21, 2013 at 07:11

      That’s normally not how it works… Most of the time, the Christian ends up giving up some of their moral standards to get closer to their non-Christian bf. Then, God gets pushed back in her life… Many christians date non believers thinking they can covert them to Christianity, but normally it backfires. Our flesh is weak.
      If God is first in your life, He will lead you to the right man who’s put God first in His life too. We don’t need to rush God.

  43. middleOFfive

    Posted by middleOFfive on September 20, 2013 at 18:38

    @amanda it showed me your name with your comment instead of your username- Idk why 🙂 we probably have chatted though.

    • Mandi Pi

      Posted by Mandi Pi on September 21, 2013 at 07:47

      Ah okay…I was just like AAAAHHHH STALKER!!! 😀 Hehe just kidding. 🙂 And yeah, I’ve at least seen you on chat because every time I see you, I think your name is Anne Frank because it only shows the first part of your name. xD

  44. Dee

    Posted by Dee on September 20, 2013 at 17:36

    Hey now! One of my closest guyfriends is an agnostic. If anything, my faith in God has increased, as has my scripture studying since I’ve known him, and as a result of our relationship, despite how close we are. He’s curious about my faith, though if anyone asks, he’s just “making conversation”. He’s never going to push me to change my faith, because that’s a part of myself that makes me me, and he realizes that.
    I’m not an expert. I know that. But it just seems to me that it depends a lot on the person. Some folks, like me, aren’t easily swayed by other’s arguments, because we’re stubborn. Some non-Christians, like my friend, may actually encourage one to grow in their faith, despite their own unbelief.
    I haven’t tried to change him, only to love him in the way that I think Jesus would have me love him. And, no, we’re not romantically involved or anything. But from my experience, I can’t say that I completely agree with what you’ve said.
    Now, there are some situations where I’d have to agree with you, because I think a lot of folks aren’t sure in their faith, and it may seem like a relief to just let go. I know some folks like that. I love some folks like that. And so, if they asked me what I thought about them dating an unbeliever, I’d have to warn them away from it. But there are folks like my friend, we’ll call her Emmy, and she knows what she believes, and dated an agnostic for several months, and her faith was unchanged by his influence, even though they were pretty close and he had plenty of pull with her.
    There’s a scripture, also in Corinthians, where he instructs people that if their spouse isn’t a Christian, they shouldn’t divorce them. This leads me to think that it isn’t a sin to be in a relationship with a non-Christian, anymore than it’s a sin to be a slave to someone. (It sure wouldn’t be pleasant, but it’s not a sin.) It seems like God is always advocating leaving a life of sin, so if he didn’t want folks to leave their spouse for being a non-Christian, then perhaps it isn’t a sin.
    I do think that, if someone walks away from God because they decided to follow this path, then that’s a problem. But I don’t think it’s a sin to date a non-Christian.
    These are, I’ll repeat, only my own logic and understanding. I may very well be wrong. I hope not, but I may.

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by dedicated on September 25, 2013 at 16:37

      I definitely don’t think it’s a sin to date nonbelievers. However, I don’t think it’s a good idea. Supposing that one believes the point of dating is to find someone suitable for marriage, the characteristics of a potential boyfriend should be considered in the terms of marriage. Would you want to live with a nonbeliever for the rest of your life, his beliefs (or lack thereof) eroding yours? Would you want to go to church every week by yourself? Would you want to raise children with a nonbeliever and risk shakiness of their faith? It just doesn’t seem like a good idea to me. Of course, in these matters the most important thing is to pray and see what God’s plan is for you. I do think that it is really cool you’re close with this agnostic and that it doesn’t affect you in your faith!

    • Mandi Pi

      Posted by Mandi Pi on September 20, 2013 at 18:10

      I think that’s the point…You aren’t in a romantic relationship with that guy, so you probably aren’t as affected as you would be. (I mean, I know you said that you are close to him but if you were his BF you would be even closer and it would be much different actually). It’s obviously awesome when you are friends with non-believers, but I think it affects you waaay more when you are in a romantic relationship. I understand though! 😀

      • maybekailee

        Posted by maybekailee on September 21, 2013 at 17:44

        I agree! and I do think that Christians should be in friendships with other believers. if they weren’t, how else would the gospel be spread? the difference between being friends with a non Christian and being a girlfriend to a non Christian is that boyfriend/girlfriend relationships tend to become more physical over time. a non Christian will generally have a different moral standard and even if they don’t, they will not have a relationship with God to hold them accountable.
        and the verse in Corinthians references believers who have already been married to a non Christian (they have become believers after their marriage). this is a different situation that a dating relationship!

  45. middleOFfive

    Posted by middleOFfive on September 20, 2013 at 15:55

    Lol- thanks Amanda 🙂 that’s mostly what I was thinking.

    • Mandi Pi

      Posted by Mandi Pi on September 20, 2013 at 16:47

      And waaaiiiit a second…Do you know me from chat or did you click on my name and see my profile page? (Like, how do you know my name is Amanda?).

    • Mandi Pi

      Posted by Mandi Pi on September 20, 2013 at 16:46

      Mhm! 🙂

  46. middleOFfive

    Posted by middleOFfive on September 19, 2013 at 18:23

    Yes!!! I have the same question as Kyla^

  47. mkay77

    Posted by mkay77 on September 19, 2013 at 18:18

    I’m not entirely sure if I just dated a not-so-chivalrous Atheist or if this will work out most of the time like this, but my first (and latest) ex-boyfriend was an Atheist. In the beginning of the relationship, I thought “well, he’s an open-minded guy, so I’m sure if I set an example for Christians, he’ll see God’s love and become one!” Wrong, and I was wrong that he was “open-minded”. He really disgraced my faith, and I was too scared to confront him. Lesson learned 🙁

  48. Kyla

    Posted by Kyla on September 19, 2013 at 17:28

    What if they’re a Christian, just not at the same place in their relationship with God as you?

    • Mandi Pi

      Posted by Mandi Pi on September 20, 2013 at 11:27

      I also meant to say: It is probably best to date at least someone who is at least fairly near the same place in their walk as you are.

    • Mandi Pi

      Posted by Mandi Pi on September 20, 2013 at 05:19

      @Kyla and @middleoFfive, I think it’s okay. 🙂 I mean, I don’t think anyone is on the EXACT same level and same place in their walk as another person…Though, it does depend. For example: If you feel like you will be tempted more in a relationship, then you need to find a man who is deep in his relationship with God so that he won’t let it get that far….Because someone who is fairly new in their faith might not do that, and you’ll could end up going too far and sinning because of that. I know that most women who are truly on fire for God, want a man who is just as on fire for God as they are. But, I think as long as they are saved and past the point of being able to lead you down the wrong path, it is okay. Because, if guys were like “I need to find a true woman of God who is ahead of me in their walk so that she can help me grow” and girls were like “I need to find a true man of God who is ahead of me in their walk so that he can help me grow”, then no one would ever date anyone LOL. 😀 Did that make sense (mostly that last sentence, but any of it)??

      • Project Inspired

        Posted by Nelly on January 17, 2014 at 13:31

        I don’t think a Christian should date a non-Christian. If he loves Jesus and he is number 1 in his life he will treat you right. If they don’t believe in what you do they will just bring you down. There is a guy out there that God has for each one of us. 🙂