I’m crushing on this guy but there’s a problem! He lives three hours away, which means that we don’t get to see each other. What’s worse is that we only get to talk through Facebook! I don’t want this to be a “Facebook only” relationship but I don’t want to be too pushy by asking him to talk on the telephone or anything. So what should I do?
Relationships can be so tricky, especially if boundaries and expectations are left unclear! The first thing that you want to do is clarify the relationship. Are you in a relationship with this guy or are you still in the crushing stage?
If you’re already a formal couple, then a conversation definitely needs to happen. It’s important that your needs are met and you should let him know that you would like to have more contact outside of Facebook. However, if you’re still in the “crushing” phase, then it’s a little trickier – but boundaries need to be established nonetheless.
I’m a firm believer that girls should try to avoid becoming too emotionally attached until a relationship has been formally established. This is really important to avoid unnecessary heartache. So, if you’re crushing on this guy and you don’t know how he feels back, then you should have a conversation with him about it before your feelings grow too much. It’s better to be a little disappointed now than have a bigger heartache later. So the first step is to have a conversation to determine the status of your relationship!
If you two decide that there’s room for a potential relationship, then it’s okay to suggest more contact outside of Facebook. You can be casual about it and say something like, “It’s kind of hard to write everything out on Facebook, so maybe we could talk on the phone.” If he’s open to that suggestion, then you can agree on a time that works for both of you. However, if he’s not open to phone contact, then maybe you should minimize the amount of contact that you have with this guy, even on Facebook. This is important so that your feelings don’t intensify.
If you decide to just be friends, that’s okay, too! Just be sure that the boundaries are clear within the friendship. You might also want to limit the amount of contact you have with him even on social media until your feelings for him lessen.
Whatever you do, always be sure to be led by The Holy Spirit. Ask God for guidance and Godly boldness as you approach the situation. Also know that whatever the outcome is, God has created a guy who He has just for you!
So what do you girls think? Have you ever been in a relationship on social media only? How did you handle it?