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Christian Life

“Is Lusting Considered Adultery?”

Every week, I go through the “Girl Talk” section of Project Inspired and look for those seeking advice and counsel. I want to help answer some questions you may have about living out your Christian life and walk of faith! We want PI to be a safe place where you can ask questions. 

This week I found a very impressive post on lust written by a PI reader in the Girl Talk Forums. God speaks very clearly on the seriousness of not only sexual immorality, but also of looking at a man or woman with lust, so this is a very important post to consider!

The PI reader who wrote the post included some great points about how the Bible says that “those who are pure in their heart will see God.” What does that mean if you are not pure? Does that insinuate that you will NOT see God? Let’s dig deeper.

The anonymous writer included this in her post:

“I’ve heard many times the saying, ‘It’s okay to look, but don’t touch.’ Is that true? No! It isn’t okay to touch, but it’s not okay to look either. At least not when you’re looking with lust.

Lust (from the dictionary) – “a sexual desire”

…For me, my parents say that it is wrong to have sex before I’m married and that I should save myself for my husband. The world says that marriage is really just legal stuff. It’s okay to give yourself away to multiple guys before you find your husband…

“But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:28

Jesus says that God sees us as adulterers if
 we so much as look at a guy with lust. (Great point, and great advice, PI reader!)

Lust is always committed in your heart.

Since lust is adultery in our hearts, whom are we sinning against?

We are sinning against ourselves, the person we lust after, our future spouse, and God.

Matthew 5:8 says, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” Jesus is saying that we will see God if we are pure in heart!

Wow, this reader is very mature and has made several valid points!

To conclude, the PI reader asked, “Who here would like to actually see God?”

We need to guard our hearts and minds from lust, use self-control and remember to put on the full armor of God (Ephesians 6). In the culture we live in, it can be a huge challenge to be pure in mind, heart and body. It’s almost as if you are swimming against the current or a tidal wave because the majority that is thrown at us is sex, promiscuity and vulgarity. There is an apathetic, almost “normal” humor to it all, which is sad.

When you think of all the issues in the marriages of society today, it is no wonder because the culture and media constantly bombard people with different ads, commercials and photos. The internet adds a whole different dimension to this as well.

What Satan wants to do is desensitize people so that the convicting or the harmful things don’t affect us as much, and we turn a blind eye to it. This is exactly what the Bible warns against. Jesus even said that if your eye or hand causes you to sin, cut it off. That’s pretty serious and doesn’t sound like a joking matter.

God even expresses that it is better for you to be in eternity with one hand then to be separated from God (Matt 5:27). God knew people would become familiar with sins, and they would be seen as “human nature” and not a big deal. Yet, when we look at scripture, IT IS important. If we value our relationship with God, it should be a high priority to remain pure. Of course, we all are fallen. Yes, we’re human, but it isn’t an excuse to ignore what God requires us to guard against. 

Jesus clearly said, that YES, lust is adultery:

“But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her (him) in his (her) heart” (Matthew 5:28).

The PI reader also gave some advice to those who may be struggling with lust. She recommends that you pray and also said,When it comes to sin, we have two choices. We can either struggle or surrender. Struggling is fighting against sin, but God is winning the fight. Surrendering is giving in to sin; Satan won that battle. We need to fight sin, not give in to it.

Great words, and thank you for the wisdom and input!

To read the full post: click here.

To read about “Avoiding Temptation” and about “Every Woman’s Battle,” click here.

PI girls, do you have any questions or prayer requests? Comment below! We love you! <3

Image: iStockphoto | ThinkStock + Project Inspired


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  1. bballgirl123

    Posted by bballgirl123 on June 5, 2014 at 05:54

    I love this post!!!

  2. kaitlin.harris249

    Posted by kaitlin.harris249 on November 14, 2013 at 15:00

    I agree with this post wholeheartedly.

  3. Trinity

    Posted by Trinity on September 19, 2013 at 10:35

    My question is, where’s the difference between thinking a guy is attractive/cute/hot and lusting after him. Because I mean obviously if you see a guy who you are physically attracted to, you’re going to start thinking about him in that way. It’s a natural reaction, so when does it become a sin?

    • Aileen

      Posted by Aileen on October 2, 2013 at 10:10

      There’s nothing wrong with appreciating others attractiveness. The issue arises when you think of them as sex objects rather than a creation of God.

    • GodsGem

      Posted by GodsGem on September 19, 2013 at 15:47

      I’m with you Trinity..i have the same question. It’s normal for you to be physically attracted to a person. I know a lot of people who say if you don’t physically desire your boyfriend/girlfriend than you’re not meant to be together, because that’s a natural thing that God created. But when does it cross over the line into lust???

  4. hereigns56

    Posted by hereigns56 on September 16, 2013 at 16:17

    Regarding the pure in heart part, would thinking about a guy without talking to them be considered lust? How could I make an effort to fight that, even if I’ve never talked to that person, and they’ve never talked to me?

  5. Project Inspired

    Posted by blebo25 on September 16, 2013 at 12:59

    One thing my pastor has said about lust that I think sums it up really well is that lust is looking twice

    • atla_bee

      Posted by atla_bee on September 23, 2013 at 14:45

      Mine too. I agree that sums it up really well because as humans, we sometimes can’t help the first look/though but we can help the second.

  6. Marissarulz

    Posted by Marissarulz on September 16, 2013 at 12:09

    Can you guys get rid of the ‘don’t miss’ things? I want to read the article without getting distracted by an ad in the middle of it…

    • Madd

      Posted by Madd on September 17, 2013 at 14:51

      It’s not *that* distracting. Unless you’re really not interested in the article. Which I’m not..

    • Kyla

      Posted by Kyla on September 16, 2013 at 14:58

      I third it haha! 🙂

    • leahgrace99

      Posted by leahgrace99 on September 16, 2013 at 12:47

      I second that!