Jealousy…No More: YOU are Special!

    It’s easy to look at other people and marvel at their talents. Your sister is a fabulous softball player. Your best friend has a special sense of creativity that’s obvious every time she walks into a room. Your neighbor is talented at singing or writing. Not to mention all of the other athletes, artists, academic whiz kids, and other talented people in your school, church and family. I can see why it might be hard to keep the green eyed monster from rearing its head sometimes.

    However, jealousy usually occurs when a person feels inadequate or threatened in some way. Often it’s because she’s struggling to develop her own abilities. Unfortunately, society encourages us to constantly compare ourselves to other people. But you don’t have to compare yourself to another person. You have unique gifts and talents inside of you that are waiting to be used. The Bible is clear about that:

    But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. – 1 Corinthians 7:7

    Everyone has extraordinary abilities and it’s up to you to discover and nourish yours! So the next time you start to feel jealous about the talents that your peers have been blessed with, remind yourself that you are uniquely blessed with your own talents for your own special purpose. God says,

    Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart – Jeremiah 1:5.

    God has created you for a specific purpose and no one can fulfill your destiny, but you.

    Remember, if God gives you a mission, surely He’ll prepare and equip you for it! Therefore, you already have all of the talents and gifts that you need to fulfill your unique purpose. So rather than focus on what other people do well, evaluate your own talents and figure out how to enhance them!

    Do you struggle with feelings of jealousy?

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    Aysha Ives
    Aysha Ives loves God with her whole heart and has a desire to help hurting people. With a Masters Degree in Psychology, she combines her education and experience with her love for God to help people live whole and fulfilled lives. Aysha is an Author, Mental Health Provider, Youth Church Teacher, and the mother of one gifted little boy whom she absolutely adores. Aysha is honored to be able to share her love of God with Project Inspired readers. Aysha is also the author of God Cares About Your Stuff: How To Believe For Tomorrow When Things Look Utterly, Completely, And Totally Impossible Today, released February 2013- Available at Amazon.


      • 😀 I <3d this article…I didn't know that the Bible specifically says that everyone has her own talents! I am SO not athletic, but that's okay. When I feel that I am failing at sports, I think ,"God gave me other talents. I am good at singing. And I would rather be good at that than good at sports." God chose specific talents for everyone. Think about it…if I was good at sports instead of singing, I would wish it was the other way around!

    1. Hi Kathy, Sara Kathryn, and Mewster. I’m glad that you’re inspired by this post! Always remember that God has a purpose for your life and He made you specifically to fulfill it. You’re special in your own right and no one can fulfill your specific destiny, but YOU! I’m excited about what God has in store for each of you!!

    2. My aunt had told me when I was younger that God blesses each and everyone of us with a gift. Her gift was loving children and even though she wasn’t able to have kids naturally(had 13 miscarriages, she used that love to adopt 2 amazing boys from Russia. I believe God has blessed me with over compassion and with that, I send my heart out to several people and have already raised $663.47 for cancer with another fundraiser this weekend and June :)God bless <3

    3. Alexa, your aunt is absolutely right! God blesses each and every one of us with gifts and talents and its our responsibility to use them to help build His Kingdom. You’re doing just that as you use your compassion to help others! God is so pleased and I’m so proud of you! Keep us updated on your fundraisers!!

    4. Wow. That was truely a God send. I have this friend who give the angels a run for their money. She’s beautiful, a talented singer (and not afraid to show it off), and always gets the boys’ attention. I find myself comparing me to her alot. Thank you so much for this inspiring message!!! GOD BLESS YOU

      • You are PERFECT, just the way God made you! Don’t compare yourself to her, because trust me she’s got some type of insecurity too, and I bet she wishes she had your personality, your intelligence, your witty sense of humor, you are so amazing!

    5. thank you, this is helping me.
      I have always wanted to be a Professional Christian Musician, and everytime i sing or something
      my “friends” (who arent my friends anymore) tell me to stop
      so i get mad
      and i try encouraging them in there dreams and then they DIScourage me
      so i get jealous that i dont have a friend to encourage me
      and i get jealous alot about other things too.

    6. There’s two things that I get jealous about most often. One of them of one of my friend’s who knows how to do the most amazing things with her hair, which I admit is the silly one. The other one is of most people in general. At least, most people with a boyfriend or a husband. I get jealous of the people who have someone that they get to laugh with in ways that you can’t laugh about with just another friend. I get jealous when I see that look of love and affection they show one another. I get jealous of couples. I have to keep telling myself that I can’t be in a relationship now though, that, later in life I will have the man of my dreams who will love me. It only helps a little bit though. Thank you Aysha for this bit of encouragement. 🙂

    7. You know this is just SO inspiring 🙂 Thanks soo muuuch for posting it, it just encourages me. I am created for a purpose that no one else can fulfill. I just love the thought of that! THANK YOUU!

    8. Thank you so much for this article. I have been feeling so down and jealous in choir ( I love to sing) and this article popped up and I am like wow! I will apply this when ever I feel jealous of other girls who can sing better than me. ( Example faster vibrato and popularity). So thank you because ironically, this was today! God is truely amazing!

    9. This is a great article. I sometimes find myself comparing myself to my friends, and I need to realize that I don’t have to do that. God made me who I am, so I don’t have to be like anyone else or measure up to anyone else. This is a great reminder. Thank you, Aysha!! 😀

    10. I’ve not been feeling very special lately. Everyone around me is good at everything! Sports, art, life in general….it seems like they do everything right. I really needed to hear this, thanks!

    11. THANK YOU for writing this! I struggle with major jealousy problems. This has encouraged me. I get mad, when my friends hang around other people, when people give others just because gifts, because they have nicer clothes than me, everything! This has helped me so much.

    12. This helped me so much. Because i was abused when i was younger both physically and emotionally so i never thought that i would ever be good enough for a guy. One time a new, pretty girl would come to church and the guy i cared about was there so i would get so jealous that i ignored him for the rest of the week because i thought he was going to leave me for her. But, now, reading this i realise i don’t need to feel that way anymore. Thank you.

    13. Thank you for this! For me, it’s more like feeling insecure about my looks. I’m not particularly jealous about another girl’s great looks (sure I would like it if I had their face), but I like my face since it’s unique and I think I’m great in my own way. But still there are times of insecurity and I’m scared that i’ll lose my guy best friend to some other beautiful girl. What’s your take on that?

    14. I have a REALLY hard time with feeling special.
      My sister is AMAZING at EVERYTHING it seems. All the boys practically throw themselves at her, girls always want to be her, everyone ADORES her. She sings beautifully, can play the piano, is so confident and beautiful.
      And then theres me (Younger sister) I have social anxiety, am REALLY shy, guys don’t notice me, girls look down on me, I have no talents, I’m obviously not beautiful.
      Everyone picks her over me ALL THE TIME. Friends, guys, even family. My family favors her SO much.
      I used to cry a lot and God has helped me deal with it and I pray I could get out of her shadow.
      I don’t know what else to do.

      • Aye, that’s so sad and hard. I can’t imagine what it feels like. Have you talked to your sister about how you feel? How about your parents? It’s hard when someone in the family seems better than you and your pressured to be like them. You sound like my friend who has a sister likes yours and she is like you. Total opposites. I say just talk to your sister and parents about how you feel. In the meantime, try to practice the things you are good at and excel on that. Find yourself..who you are and appreciate that because you are unique! 😀 I like what Paris wrote on the comment below: Jealousy is not a pretty color.

        Indeed it ain’t!

      • I know what it’s like to be in an older sibling’s shadow. My sister is like yours in a way, but she gets a standing ovation each time she treats ANYONE, more importantly, children, kindly. People overlook my kindness most of the time. She works out – people congratulate her. Good pic on Facebook – people give her TONS of likes on that pic compared to my own pics! Like how your family favors your sister, people seem to favor mine. Even my mother FAVORS her! I think we have a similar problem about it. But, hopefully there’ll be a way for us to deal with being in the older siblings’ shadow.

    15. people compare me to my sister DAILY. Including my parents. They always tell me how I should be more like her. How do I deal with this? How can I show everyone that I AM special too!?

    16. It’s hard for me to get over my jealousy of both my sister and my cousin. First off, my sister’s really wonderful with kids (and she shows them off on Facebook to showcase her extroadinary parenting skills!). Then, she has a way of motivating people around her to workout and she makes her pictures look PERFECT using photoshop. Then here’s my cousin – she’s very smart and has a lot of friends often surrounding her. Like my sister, many kids love her because she’s so kind to them. And she tells all about it on Facebook!

      I don’t have any kids and I don’t usually get out of the house often. How can I prove to the younger ones that I’m gentle with kids too? Also I’m working on a novel, but I don’t want to show any samples of it on Facebook because I don’t want to spoil the surprise! I post verses on social media. I’m not sure if I’m special or just moving through life uselessly.

      • You are SOO special and God repeats it several times in the Bible! Sometimes I don’t feel special either. Yeah maybe it could be a phase ,but it’ll pass and it’ll make you stronger! I try to remember that and it helps me not be hateful or think certain things about people. I just kill them with compation instead of being jealous. It’ll take a while and a lot of Patience! I’ve been killing my brother with kindness for over five years and I still feel like he doesn’t see the specialness in me ! But one day it’ll pay off! Oh yeah you’ll have downfalls but just get back up and try again until they see you for you! I pray for you and wish you luck!

    17. I’m the only teenager in my family! I hate it! I also don’t have any sisters! I have three brothers who are 23or older. I feel like I’m not as good as them. Then there is my nieces and nephew they get ALL the attention! I’m not one to want to be the center of attention ,but sometimes I feel like I’m just forgotten about! Unless I mess up or have a emotional day then EVERYONE is on my case it seems and it seems to me their trying to rub it in that I’m not perfect! I suppose it’s jealousy!:( I know it’s wrong but I don’t know how to deal with it!Then their is my friends! One is sooo outgoing and boy crazy! Then my other friend she is idk how to put it we’ve been friends since 2nd grade and u know something is up but she isn’t very open about it to anyone. Sometimes I even feel friendless! What do I do? And I know it won’t fix anything with a boyfriend but I feel all the guys don’t like me because I’m different (I have albinism) I feel like im like Gommer in the Bible I’m like a nobody and no one repozes how much I’m working to try to fit in or at least feel a part of something! Any advice? I feel sooooo lonely! Sure I talk to God and I feel him in my life in some areas. I’m going on a mission trip in March. My dad says it could help me see things better or in a different way so that’s what I’m praying about!

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