You have just married the love of your life, that guy who makes your heart leap, butterflies appear in your stomach, and your cheeks blush. You’ve hopped into your getaway car that is decorated to the tilt, you’re waving goodbye to your family and friends, and you are now officially on your way to your wedding night and honeymoon suite! Nerves, excitement, and wonder fill the air. Everything is brand new – you are on a journey with your best friend in all the world, and you can’t wait.
But is there a way to best prepare for these first few days and weeks of marriage? Is there a way to allay any nervous feelings you may have and to set yourselves off on the best foot possible? Absolutely! Your honeymoon will be one of the most special times of your new marriage (trust me, I think back on mine all the time!), and we want you to have an incredibly amazing time! And, with the proper preparation and mindset, that is totally possible! Here are 5 ideas to get you started and lead you to one really amazing honeymoon!
- Find an older, godly woman to mentor you.
Oftentimes, premarital counseling with your pastor or another counselor is a prerequisite to getting married. But, additionally, consider reaching out to an older woman in your life that you can glean wisdom from. This is a Biblical concept that too often gets overlooked. Titus 2:4-5 specifically talks about the importance of older women teaching younger women how to love their husbands, so that is something we should take seriously.
Part of this mentoring should also be having the “talk” with a trusted woman to gain the right mindset, if you haven’t already. Too often, the church and Christian parents are largely silent on the topic of sex and many girls enter into marriage having no idea how intimacy works. On the flip side, you have the girls who have learned all about sex from the world and from peers, but still do not necessarily have a truly accurate, nor God-honoring picture of how God designed sex and what it’s for. Hint: it isn’t just for making babies, as great as that is!. Take seriously the opportunity you have to reach out to a godly older woman for counsel and advice. This will only set you up for an even more amazing honeymoon and marriage!
2. Work through expectations.
Sex should not be an off-limits or taboo topic to talk about with your fiance. In fact, you should talk about it! Certainly put proper boundaries in place so that you do not succumb to temptation to cross lines in the intimacy department before you’re married, but do talk about your expectations. For example, what are you expecting the wedding night to be like? Are you expecting to jump to intimacy first thing, or are you ok with the possibility that you both may be so exhausted from the festivities that you wait until the next day to be intimate? Work through all of this ahead of time, and you will avoid a lot of frustration and pain.
3. Don’t think “one week”, enjoy the journey that’s for the long-haul.
Don’t expect intimacy on your honeymoon to be the best it will ever be- because it won’t. You will grow, learn, and discover together. That’s part of the fun of being married! Enjoy your honeymoon, absolutely, but do not focus on just that season. If you do, you will be incredibly depressed when it’s over, rather than excited over all that is yet to come.
4. Spend more time on your overall marriage, not the wedding.
It is a very common mistake these days to pour so much time, resources, money, and focus into crafting the “perfect” wedding day, that not much attention is left over for setting yourselves up for an awesome marriage. Read marriage books together, seek counsel as a couple and individually, cultivate good community with other Christian couples, be in the Word and prayer together, and focus on the long-term goal of a strong marriage – not just an impressive wedding ceremony.
5. Take advantage of some good, biblical, godly resources.
As I mentioned above, many Christian girls enter into marriage not truly knowing the facts about sex and intimacy. With that in mind, here are some awesome resources to look into in the weeks and months leading up to your wedding:
The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex by Sheila Wray Gregoire (her blog To Love, Honor, and Vacuum is excellent, too!)
With just a bit of preparation beforehand, you can look forward to one truly amazing honeymoon, but, even more importantly, a wonderful marriage!