Scroll through articles on dating and you’re probably going to see encouragement to become “wife material” or “husband material.” I guess I’ve said something similar in my own posts here on Project Inspired—encouraging you to be the kind of person you want to date. There’s truth to this. Dating well requires good character. But is the focus of following God to become “wife material”? Definitely not.
God has a bigger vision for you, and your walk with Him is so much more than preparing to be a wife. The greatest calling we have on this earth is not to become wives and mothers. While those roles are blessings, we will not stand before God in our husband’s shadow. We will stand on our own two feet and answer for how we walked with Christ.
Maybe God’s biggest concern is not whether or not you’re wife material, but whether or not your heart is His.
God’s greatest concern is your heart for Him.
When we submit our lives to Jesus, we’re committing to follow Him. This commitment cannot be executed on our own strength, so He gives us His Spirit to help us follow Him. The Spirit of God teaches us how to make honorable choices, how to listen for God’s voice and how to obey Him. This is called sanctification.
Marriage can be very sanctifying, but it’s not the means by which we become godly women. We become godly women by walking in the Spirit! God’s greatest concern is not whether or not you can cook or clean, whether you’re great with kids or an amazing worker. He wants your heart to be wholly His. When your heart is completely committed to Christ, you’ll automatically be an awesome wife someday.
When you follow the Spirit’s leading, you’ll be an excellent wife.
The Spirit of God is given to us as a Helper. Jesus articulates this in John 15-17. The fruit of the Spirit (in Galatians 6) grows out of our life as we listen for and obey His still, small voice. Each day, we need to expose ourselves to God’s truth in His Word and listen for the Spirit’s leading. He will never contradict what He says in the Word, and will speak specifically to you daily as you learn to listen for His leading—and obey it.
Excellent wives aren’t born. They are made. And they are made by Christ! As you walk in the light of God’s love and keep Him first, excellence will become a way of life for you. When you stumble, you’ll repent and return to the Lord. When you fail, you’ll grasp His redemption. When you’re humbled, you’ll grow and learn. Excellence is not the same as perfection; it’s slow upward growth led by the Spirit of God.
God’s ultimate goal for you is not marriage.
This may come as a surprise, but God’s goal for you on this earth is not for you to get married. That might happen someday, but it’s not your ultimate destiny. It’s not a stopping point. God’s will for you starts right here, right now—single or married. By embracing His voice and purpose, NOW you’re training yourself to listen for Him if you are married someday.
It’s great to learn practical skills like cooking or home management (even though your husband might prefer these tasks when you’re married; they aren’t specific to wives). But becoming “wife material” is less about learning practical skills than it is cultivating a heart dedicated to Jesus. When your life revolves around the Lord, He will show you where you need to grow. He will cultivate a teachable spirit in you. And He will help you become the kind of woman your future husband actually needs.