I always second guess myself, as if I’m not worth it to succeed. And mostly I think I second guess myself because I don’t feel pretty enough. I don’t know why this has any bearing on my “success” in life, maybe it’s because I feel so self conscious about how I look that I hold myself back from reaching the things I’m supposed to do with my life… and that is the truth, I hold back my potential because I don’t think I’m worth it…. when really, who am I to say that I’m not worth it? That my standards of things come higher than God’s standards of things? Because God made me, and deep down I am happy with that. Even though every day I put pressure on myself to have longer hair, thinner thighs, firmer arms, a flatter tummy… always asking why I don’t have a girlier figure, longer legs or fingers, shinier hair, bigger eyes, a better smile… There isn’t a day that goes by I don’t say something I hate about myself and taken this so far that I’ve struggled with eating disorders since my freshman year of high school, depression and cutting. But WHY? I know if only I saw myself through God’s eyes, I’d see the beauty in myself, because I AM HIS CREATION. And why would I want to be anything less? Not hating myself is something I want to live everyday, and today starts now. No more waiting, no more crippling self pressure to be something I was never meant to be, no more holding my standards above Gods. I am who I am by the grace of God, and that doesn’t need any changing.

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