“My Best Friend and I Like the Same Guy! Help!”
Written by Aysha Ives | July 11, 2013
My best friend REALLY likes this boy but she doesn’t talk to him much. The problem is, I’ve been talking to him a lot lately and I’m starting to like him too! He’s an awesome guy, but I don’t want to hurt my friend! I don’t know if I should pursue him. What should I do?
This is a tough spot to be in! When you and your best friend like the same guy, deciding what to do can be quite difficult. While you’re considering your next move, consider this important pointer:
- Be sure to pray! It’s really important that you pray about this situation, because the decision you make can have lasting effects on your friendship. If this relationship is one that God wants you to pursue, then He’ll reveal it to you. If it’s a relationship that isn’t something that gets God’s approval, then He’ll reveal that to you, too.
Also, ask yourself these questions:
- Would this relationship be purposeful? Everything that God blesses has purpose. God is very purpose oriented and everything that He gives His stamp of approval to serves the Kingdom agenda in some way. Is this guy someone who could help you move forward with God? Is he someone who is invested in you and your goals? Or is he just a cute and likeable boy that you’ve developed a crush on? That’s something you might want to ask before moving forward.
- Will this damage my friendship too much? Do you think pursuing this relationship will ruin the friendship you have with your best friend? Do you think it’s something that your friendship could survive, or will it cause anger and hurt feelings? This is something you should really think about before making your decision.
- Is the guy interested in a relationship right now? If your crush isn’t currently interested in a relationship, then it’s possible that you could damage your friendship for a relationship that’s not even meant to be!
- Are you showing love? Everything that God instructs us to do reflects love in some way, because “God is love” (1 John 4:8). Make sure that your decision is based upon hearing from God and showing love toward other people. It’s important that this decision isn’t purely emotional! An emotionally driven response, without weighing the pros and cons, could lead to a lot of unnecessary pain and heartache for both you and your friend! Remember, God tells us this:
Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had (Philippians 2:3-5).
Deciding to date your best friend’s crush could have some pretty hefty consequences. However, a relationship with this guy could also be a relationship that’s meant to be! Whatever you decide, it’s really important that you consider the options carefully and prayerfully.
What do you girls think? Is it okay to date your best friend’s crush?