Hi Olivia! I recently started dating a young man who goes to my church. He’s really kind, respectful and inspiring, and I like him a lot! I’ve been having a lot of trouble, though, because he is really into music and movies, and as a result, a lot of the media that he gets into is not necessarily Philippians 4:8. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to break up with him over that silly thing, but at the same time I don’t want to be secretly upset by things that he indulges in. Some advice would be much appreciated. Thank you!
Hey sweet girl. Thanks for your question.
I’m going to cut to the chase and just ask—why are you concerned if it’s “that silly” to you? And why is it silly? Is the scripture silly? I’m not trying to be mean, but rather bring to light the fact that you don’t think this concern is silly. You’ve brought it to me, after all.
I think that it’s important to determine how important Truth is to you. You referred to Philippians 4:8: “Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Paul was clear about keeping our minds clean and pure. But when we listen to inappropriate music or watch inappropriate movies, we’re allowing darkness to enter our minds.
Let’s be clear—anything not of God is usually something that leads us off the path of righteousness. This may sound extreme to some, but a devoted Christian who loves God puts Him above everything. And if a song or movie would likely offend our Lord, it should also offend us, don’t you agree?
I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me. (Psalm 101 verse 3)
I’m not going to tell you to stick with this guy or let him go, but I do want to remind you that you can’t change a person who doesn’t want to change.
So, here’s what I think you should do.
- Ask yourself where you would draw the line. Have you made a list of the things you want in your future husband? Are you willing to compromise? If your future husband is a man who is pure in his thoughts, avoiding inappropriate music and movies, then are you compromising now?
- Speak to your boyfriend. No, you can’t change him unless he wants to, but it’s very important to be open and honest about your concerns. If he tells you you’re ridiculous about your concerns, that’s an indication of things to come in your relationship.
- Pray for guidance. Ask God to guide your decision here. Truth is important. Don’t ignore it for a boyfriend. Put God above everything.
Good luck and God bless!
Need some advice? Ask your questions in the Ask Olivia Girl Talk forum or in the comments below and I might answer them in a future article!