“My Crush Has a New Girlfriend…Now What?”
Written by Aysha Ives | October 17, 2013
I like this boy and I thought he liked me back, but I recently found out that he has a new girlfriend. This really hurt and now I’m afraid that I’ll keep being hurt by guys. What can I do to stop myself from liking guys so that I don’t get hurt again?
Dating can be really tough, especially when you like someone and that person ends up dating someone else. Girls (and even guys, too) sometimes mistakenly believe that there’s something wrong with them when this happens. That is ABSOLUTELY NOT TRUE! The dating world can be so heartbreaking at times, but here are some suggestions to help safeguard your heart:
- Have a conversation about a potential relationship. If you find yourself liking a guy, it’s probably best to have a conversation with him if you think he might like you back. This way, you can avoid misinterpreting signals. If you’re shy, then this might be difficult for you. If you trust the guy, then you could try asking him in writing, but DON’T ever write anything that you’d be embarrassed about if it got out!
- Establish boundaries. It’s important to know that it’s normal for girls your age to like guys because God created males and females to be attracted to each other! However, be purposeful about not allowing yourself to develop strong emotional attachments to a guy until you’re at least formally a couple. Avoid too much flirting and physical contact to keep yourself from falling hard too soon, which could result in you getting hurt.
- Consider courting. Courting is dating with INTENTION. When you’re dating to determine if a person is a potential marriage partner, then the focus changes from recreational dating to marriage-minded courting. I recommend that if you decide to court instead of date, that you should wait until you’re a little older when you’re truly looking for a marriage partner. Remember, you want to be ready for marriage when you start the courting process! Although courting doesn’t work for some people, it helps others safeguard their heart!
- Pray! Never underestimate the power of prayer! The Bible says that “The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective” (James 5:16), so it’s important to bring your heartache to God! Ask Him to heal your heart and then ask Him to send the RIGHT guy into your life! When God sends Him, there won’t be that kind of heartache!
Having a crush on a guy is normal, but it’s important for you to safeguard your heart until you’re sure he’s someone who is a potential relationship partner! I know you’re hurting right now, but believe me—your heart will heal soon. However, until then, take the time that you need to focus on yourself and the healing process. The RIGHT guy is out there for you! There are still a lot of good guys left—just wait for God’s perfect timing.
What do you girls think? Have you ever been in this position before? What did you do?