“My Friend Loves to Talk About Herself, but Never Listens to Me! What Do I Do?”

    My friend likes to talk about herself or her likes/dislikes. I mean, it’s nice to know more about her, but I want to talk sometimes, too. Whenever I say something, she kind of brushes it aside or just keeps talking. I need advice. Thanks!

    Girl, I definitely sympathize with what you’re going through! Don’t we all know someone like this? I know I do! Unfortunately, there will be some people who just love to talk about themselves. But, as you know, having a conversation with someone is part talking and part listening!

    Friendship is a give and take relationship. And there truly is an art, or at least etiquette, involved in being a friend. I’m guessing that your friend is not aware of this and it might be something that you need to help her with, if that’s possible.

    The reasons why people act like this are numerous. Maybe they fight for attention at home. Maybe they’re insecure, lonely or simply have never been taught how to have a conversation. Regardless of the reasoning, it’s annoying, right? But don’t take it personally. And don’t assume that her behavior means that you have nothing interesting to say. Instead, chalk it up to bad manners!

    Anyway, here’s what I think you should do:

    1. Tell her how you feel. If she’s a good friend, she’ll want to know if she’s not treating you well. She may not even know that she’s doing it. Be kind and respectful. Maybe tell her that you love hearing her stories, but you’d love a chance to share yours.
    2. Be a good listener. Ask questions. Give her a demonstration on how to have a conversation and hopefully she will pick up on it.
    3. If she’s not willing to change, you may have to come to terms with this being her personality. If this is the case, it’s really up to you to decide whether you want to continue a relationship with her. If she’s not that great a friend, it may not be a big deal in the long run. Just come to terms with how she is and don’t take it personally.
    4. Pray that God gives you patience and grace to treat her with kindness and respect during those times when you feel frustrated.

    Good luck and God bless!

    Need some advice? Ask your relationship questions in the Ask Olivia Girl Talk forum or in the comments below and I might answer them in a future article!

    Ask Olivia
    Got a question about boys, your besties or God? I'm here to help! As the girl all my friends always came to for advice, I've turned my girl talk, level-headedness and love of Jesus into a job -- one I love because I was a teen not long ago, too! Click into Ask Olivia in our Girl Talk Forums to ask me a question!


    1. Hi Olivia, so I have been a Christian for as long as I can remember. I have prayed multiple times trying to devote my life to Jesus. However, I do not really have a testimony. My parents are not huge Christians, but my sister is. I haven’t really ever felt anything from God or heard his voice or anything. I have heard the Bible verse that says, “Look wholeheartedly and you will find me.” I have been trying that. I read a devotional everyday and pray multiple times a day. I am still not sure if my life seems any different than before. Today I was reading John 15 and Jesus said, “You do not choose me, I choose you.” This verse scared me. Does this mean that Jesus didn’t choose me? What does this verse mean?

      • Hey friend,
        I’m not Olivia but maybe I can help. I don’t see that verse to be a judging kind of thing. If you look at the context, Jesus is talking to the disciples, who used to just be ordinary people leading ordinary lives. Even though they weren’t extraordinarily good people at that point, He sought them out and helped them to be their best selves. It seems to me like He’s telling them not to be prideful about their being His followers, honestly.
        I’d like to say a little more, because you’re worth it. Just because you haven’t had any dramatic or prophetic experiences, doesn’t mean you’re worth less than those who have. Most of us aren’t prophets. I’d say this: if you’re looking for God, then do not be afraid to love everyone and everything as much as you possibly can. “Whatever you did for one of the least of these…”

        🙂 Anna

    Project Inspired

    Hey there, welcome to Project Inspired. We're here to inspire you to know that God created you for a wonderful purpose. We are a community of believers who love God. You have gifts and talents from God that are unique to you, and we're here to guide you along the way.

    Read On

    4 Free Workout Apps to Help You Get Healthy From Home

    Do you want to pick up some new healthy habits but can't ever seem to find the time? You're not alone! But even if...

    How to Use Social Media for Good: 5 Tips

    Whether we want it to be or not, I would say that social media is no doubt going to continue being a part of...

    A Child’s Right to Life

    Our country is in the middle of a battle between abortion activists and the horrors of killing unborn children, and the many people and...

    Catch the Latest on TikTok and Instagram Reels!

    I’ve been having a lot of fun lately sharing videos on TikTok and Instagram Reels. There’s no doubt that social media can sometimes be...

    3 Important Lessons From Switched Every Girl Needs To Hear

    The reviews are in and Switched is a must-see movie for fall! This film is full of laughs and Freaky Friday-esque fun. But it...


    Stay connected with Project Inspired.