“My Friend Loves to Talk About Herself, but Never Listens to Me! What Do I Do?”
Written by Ask Olivia | June 25, 2014
My friend likes to talk about herself or her likes/dislikes. I mean, it’s nice to know more about her, but I want to talk sometimes, too. Whenever I say something, she kind of brushes it aside or just keeps talking. I need advice. Thanks!
Girl, I definitely sympathize with what you’re going through! Don’t we all know someone like this? I know I do! Unfortunately, there will be some people who just love to talk about themselves. But, as you know, having a conversation with someone is part talking and part listening!
Friendship is a give and take relationship. And there truly is an art, or at least etiquette, involved in being a friend. I’m guessing that your friend is not aware of this and it might be something that you need to help her with, if that’s possible.
The reasons why people act like this are numerous. Maybe they fight for attention at home. Maybe they’re insecure, lonely or simply have never been taught how to have a conversation. Regardless of the reasoning, it’s annoying, right? But don’t take it personally. And don’t assume that her behavior means that you have nothing interesting to say. Instead, chalk it up to bad manners!
Anyway, here’s what I think you should do:
- Tell her how you feel. If she’s a good friend, she’ll want to know if she’s not treating you well. She may not even know that she’s doing it. Be kind and respectful. Maybe tell her that you love hearing her stories, but you’d love a chance to share yours.
- Be a good listener. Ask questions. Give her a demonstration on how to have a conversation and hopefully she will pick up on it.
- If she’s not willing to change, you may have to come to terms with this being her personality. If this is the case, it’s really up to you to decide whether you want to continue a relationship with her. If she’s not that great a friend, it may not be a big deal in the long run. Just come to terms with how she is and don’t take it personally.
- Pray that God gives you patience and grace to treat her with kindness and respect during those times when you feel frustrated.
Good luck and God bless!
Need some advice? Ask your relationship questions in the Ask Olivia Girl Talk forum or in the comments below and I might answer them in a future article!