“My Parents Don’t Like the Guy I’m Crushing On…What Should I Do?”

    I really like this guy, but there’s a HUGE problem! My dad doesn’t like him and I know he won’t approve of a relationship with him. What should I do?

    This is a tough one! You really like a guy and he likes you back—but the one thing that’s standing between you and a relationship is your DAD! What’s a girl to do? Here are some suggestions to deal with this situation:

    • Have a conversation with your parents. God gives you parents for a reason, and their job is to guide you until you’re an adult. Even then, they’ll still be around to give their input! They love you and want to protect you—and if they don’t approve of this guy, then there’s probably a reason why. Engage them in conversation and you might realize that they have some pretty good points!
    • If you still think they’re mistaken about your crush, then try to negotiate with them. Ask if it would be okay if you dated him under supervision. It might be best to start with just hanging out with this guy at home with your parents present. After a few date nights at home, perhaps your parents will be more open to letting you try group dates. Eventually you might even work up to dates with just the two of you. If he’s really a good fit for you, eventually your parents will see those good qualities and cut him some slack.
    • Don’t disobey your parents! God is very clear in His Word that you should honor your parents. In fact, this is so important to Him that He promises long life IF you obey your parents. Exodus 20:12 says, “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” You should always honor your parents and respect them enough to avoid relationships that they disapprove of! If this guy is someone God has chosen for you, then eventually your parents will come around or the relationship can resume once you’re an adult.
    • Pray. Never, EVER underestimate the power of prayer! Ask God if the guy you like is truly someone that HE wants you to be with! If the answer is “Yes,” then ask Him to help your parents see the goodness in this guy. Only God can rectify this situation, so let Him have control over it! You never know who He’ll send or what He’ll do to help your parents change their minds about your crush! Also, ask God to help you to forgive your parents and accept that they only want what’s best for you. This is important so that you stay pleasing to God as you wait for Him to make the situation right. Remember, God wants us to walk in the spirit of forgiveness at all times!

    I know that it’s hard when you really like a guy, but your parents say, “No way!” But trust me, the situation WILL work out!

    What do you girls think? Has this ever happened to you before? How did you handle it?    

    Aysha Ives
    Aysha Ives loves God with her whole heart and has a desire to help hurting people. With a Masters Degree in Psychology, she combines her education and experience with her love for God to help people live whole and fulfilled lives. Aysha is an Author, Mental Health Provider, Youth Church Teacher, and the mother of one gifted little boy whom she absolutely adores. Aysha is honored to be able to share her love of God with Project Inspired readers. Aysha is also the author of God Cares About Your Stuff: How To Believe For Tomorrow When Things Look Utterly, Completely, And Totally Impossible Today, released February 2013- Available at Amazon.


      • I know this probably won’t be what you want to hear, but you don’t need to go out with him anyway. 2 Corinthians 6:14-16 “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” Also, why go out with someone who you know you might lose when you get to heaven because they didn’t choose eternal life, they didn’t choose Christ. You need to let God bring a godly man in your life who will lead you and guide you in a strong relationship with the Lord. My favorite quote of all time is “A woman should be so lost in god that a man would have to seek Him in order to find her.” Be a woman LOST in God! : D

        Being single may seem hard, but it is a GREAT blessing. I have felt that pain, and cried over it. I’ve also had a time where I liked a guy and He liked me back, but I knew that he wasn’t right with God and had to turn away from him. The time that I’ve had with just God and I is better than anything I could imagine, CHERISH IT, GROW IN CHRIST. Then He will bring into your life a man better than you could imagine. : )

        Parents may seem like they are just “out of touch” sometimes, but they do know you better than you may think sometimes. It’s kind of strange. ever heard of “Motherly Instinct”? You’re parents aren’t just saying “No Christian, No date!” They’re saying, “If he doesn’t follow God, then where will that lead my daughter? I want her to grow in the love of Christ and know Him more. I love my daughter and I can’t wait until we can all be in Heaven for eternity together.”

        So, just stay friends with the guy for now. Share with him and everyone else you know, the message of hope, love, and salvation only found in God so that you can be with them all in eternity. And grow in Christ! : ) God Bless! I will pray for you. <3

        • She said, “If they don’t like him because he *is* a Christian.” If that’s what she meant and it wasn’t a typo after all then frankly I think it’s okay to date (if that really is their reason and not your age or some other thing). If that is their reason then I think that is the sort of persecution described in the Bible when it says “fathers against sons.”
          God says it’s only okay for us to be in a relationship with Christians, and I think that you would be justified at that point in being in a relationship with him. Although that would be a very uncomfortable situation for sure but no one can stop you from pursuing a godly relationship.

        • Hi, um I just wanted to state my opinion. I don’t think that dating a non-christian is wrong. I mean, I would love to date a fellow Christian who loves Christ as much as I do, but if you say that we shouldn’t date a non-Christian is sort of like saying they don’t have any morals or are bad people. There are good people that don’t have the same beliefs. I have a best friend who i have known for years that doesn’t have a religion at all, and we’ve always been close. She’s always been there for me, and I have been there for her. I know that’s different then dating, I’m just trying to make a point that whether a person is Christian or non-Christian, does not mean that they are a total saint or an evil person. We’re all human and God made us to not be perfect and have flaws. I also believe that all humans are equal. Non of us are any better than anyone else. Anyways I’m not trying to be rude or disrespect anyone’s opinion, I am just stating/defending mine. God bless and have a good day everyone :3

      • I understand that is frustrating especially when you’re a legal adult now, but the truth is the Bible sais to honor and obey your parents. God didn’t give us the rule to torture us, but to protect us. We should do this for our parents out of love and willingness because or Father in Heaven first loved us. The Bible does not say obey and honor your parents until you’re 18 and or out of the house. It is a rule that we should carry with us and follow until we are joined with our Father in Heaven.

    1. When I went through this, it was really rough on everyone involved. Eventually, I decided to stop lashing out at my parents and wait it out. I believe that my boyfriend and I are meant to be together, and we are both willing to wait for years if we have to, but I prayed it wouldn’t come to that. It can kill you inside, but you have to make the choice to glorify G-d. We let the situation show His love because of, and not in spite of everything that was happening. So, yes, pray all the time, as if he were already your husband, and read your Bible, so you can see with G-d’s eyes

    2. I’m kind of in a situation like this with the guy I like right now, but it’s not so much they don’t like him as a person as they don’t like what he did a couple of weeks ago.
      Two weeks ago today, Friday 10-18-2013, the guys in my class, eight of them, (which happens to be everybody in the class but me), were playing capture the flag in one of our classes. In the last game, the guy I like happens to be the last person on his team. He gets angry, so he goes up to my ex-boyfriend quickly, “hugs” him around the neck with his forearms against his neck, and drops him into the ground, which smashes his face into the ground. He gets arrested for this.
      I liked this guy, the guy who got arrested, before this situation happened. I told my parents, and my mom told me that he blew the chance to date me. I told her that I thought the same thing, but she apparently meant never date me at all, while I thought give him some time to change his act, and maybe then he can get back the chance to date me.

      • Same thing happened to me, but different reason. My parents really don’t want me with him. What I can tell you is, think it out all the way. If there’s mostly good things about it, then go for it
        even if it’s behind their back.

    3. Never go behind your parents’ back. I wasn’t allowed to date until I turned 16. I went behind their back 7 times before then. All of those guys weren’t even guys they would’ve agreed to even if i was the appropriate age. About 2 weeks before I turned 16 I really started liking this christian guy on my rifle team. I knew my parents would agree to him once I turned 16 because my dad was assistant coach of the rifle team and he knew I liked the guy. Well we started going out on my 16th birthday with my parents’ permission understanding that he and my dad had a sit down talk a few days later when he got the chance. We are now just days away from our 9 month anniversary and he has been the best guy ever. My point is this: trust your parents. they’ll save you a lot of hurt. i was hurt a lot and it wouldn’t have happened if i was obedient. Not to mention disobedience to your parents is sin. Waiting for the right time and the right guy is much better in the long run. If I could do it all over, I would have this guy as my first and only boyfriend because I regret having bad memories when I could have the testimony that I waited for the guy God and my parents approved of and he is the only guy I’ll ever have.

    4. There’s a boy I’ve known for a little over a year, and when I first met him, my mom liked him. But then he started dating another girl, and I think my mom was more offended than I was. Then they broke up, and we were there (at a social event) when they did.
      So, my mom decided that she didn’t like him anymore, just because of that girl. The thing is, I like him now and he said he likes me too. But, of course, my mom doesn’t want me to date him. What should I do? How should I deal with this?
      Thank you! 🙂

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