“Help! I’m Not Sure If I’m the Right Age to Date!”
Written by Ask Olivia | August 6, 2014
I am 13 and like a boy. I’m not sure if I’m too young to ask him out and date. And if I am the right age to date, I’m not sure how or when to ask him. I am also pretty shy in front of boys I don’t really know. I want to do what is right for me and I want God to like the decision I make. I just don’t know what to do. Please help.
Hey, girl! Thanks for trusting me with your question. I’m going to be really upfront with my answer: I believe that you’re not ready to date. I’m not going to throw out an age that I feel is right for dating, but I will give you a quick checklist and hope it helps you determine for yourself whether you’re ready.
- Are you ready to get married? Seriously! Why do I ask? Well, I believe that dating is the first stage of finding your husband. Anything less is a recipe for heartache. Casual dating is destructive to a future relationship with your future husband. Casual relationships don’t last and they leave you with baggage.
- Would you consider marrying this guy? If not, then why date him? Why open your heart up to him?
- Are you secure in your relationship with Christ? You really shouldn’t consider a relationship with someone else until you’re secure in your relationship with Jesus. When you’re strong in your faith, you will best know and recognize the guy you should marry.
- Are you confident in yourself and your ability to handle a relationship? Being in a relationship takes much responsibility. It takes selflessness, self-control, modesty and so many more characteristics needed to maintain and nurture a relationship.
There are many other things that you need to take into consideration when it comes to dating, but I urge you first to take a breath and a step back. And this is what I suggest you should do:
- Consider my four questions above and be honest in your responses. If you really care about pleasing God, then you will glorify Him in your actions. Casual dating is not a way to glorify Him because its intention is not for a positive, long-lasting relationship. Instead, you’re willingly giving yourself emotionally, and oftentimes physically (this could be just kissing), to someone temporarily. You’re opening yourself up to heartache.
- Evaluate your relationship with Christ. Work on building that relationship, and find strength and comfort in God’s love before looking for love from a guy.
- Read your Bible. Everything you need to know about relationships is in scripture.
- Look back on some of my responses regarding dating, such as “I’ve Never Kissed a Guy or Dated. Am I Being Too Picky? Advice?” and “Do I Like Him or Just the Idea of Having a Boyfriend?” I think that you will also find these helpful in answering your questions.
- Take dating seriously. Too often, young girls date casually as if it’s an opportunity to learn what they’re looking for in a guy. But casual dating only creates a more cynical person. And in a sense, and in many cases, they’re setting themselves and their future spouse up for failure.
Good luck and God bless!
Need some advice? Ask your relationship questions in the Ask Olivia Girl Talk forum or in the comments below and I might answer them in a future article!