“So, my best friend has a really big crush on this guy at our church, they’re friends but not really close, and he doesn’t know she has a crush on him. But the problem is, I’ve been talking to him a lot lately, and I’m starting to really like him! I don’t know what to do! I really don’t want it to ruin or hurt our friendship; I haven’t even told her (or anyone) that I like him.”
Girl, that’s one tough spot to be in! It’s SO hard when you like the guy your best friend also likes. My first question to you would be, who is this guy that you’d risk–or possibly even end–a friendship over? And not just a regular friendship. Your best friendship. Is he worth it? And what would make him worth it?
I’m not big on casual dating–I think that dating should be the first stage in finding your husband. Anything else leads to heartache, right? So in my opinion, if this guy’s not a candidate for a long-term commitment, why are you risking a friendship? Good friends are so hard to find and best friends can be in your life forever, but a casual relationship can come and go in a matter of weeks.
If this guy turns out to be the one, then he will find his way to you in an honest way, whether it’s when your friend’s crush fizzles out or later on in life. If not, then it’s not worth upsetting your best friend, or worse, losing her. Trust me…when you look back on this, you’ll be glad you didn’t pick a boy over a friend!
So what now? Well it’s not like you can just snap your fingers and make your feelings for this guy disappear overnight. Here’s what I suggest in the meantime:
- Walk away whenever possible. Of course, you don’t want to be rude to him, but don’t go out of your way to talk to him, and definitely don’t flirt with him.
- Try not to think about him because it’ll only make you feel bad. Instead, busy your mind by doing an activity, getting together with your friends or reading your Bible.
- Pray that God changes your heart!
It’s not going to be easy, but you will get through this…and you’ll be a better friend because of it!
God bless you and good luck!
Need some advice? Ask your relationship questions in the comments below and I might answer them in a future article!