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Love

“Ouch! I Told My Crush I Like Him, But His Feelings Aren’t Mutual. Now What?”

“I just told a really special guy I like him. He basically said he didn’t feel the same way about me (only in nicer words). What do I do now?”

Oh, sweet girl. This is the worst feeling, right? You pretty much opened your heart up to this guy and he quashed it.

Unrequited love! All the best poets have written about it. But you need to think of this more positively. Often we pine over someone for so long, holding in our feelings and wondering if…if you should tell him…if he will like you back…if he will reject you. And that state of not knowing is so draining. Well, guess what? You plucked up the courage to tell it like it is. Okay, he rejected you, in the nicest possible way, but at least you know now, right? At least you know that this guy is not the one.

Well, now you don’t have to waste your time wondering. You can pick yourself up and get on with your life.

So here’s what I think you should do.

  1. Let it go. Come to terms with the fact that this guy is not the one and be okay with that. This rejection doesn’t mean that you’re not going to find your future husband. This just tells you that this isn’t him.
  2. Busy your mind. If you keep yourself busy with hobbies, friendships and church activities, it’ll be easier to get over this guy. It’ll also be easier to bear the wait.
  3. Know that this isn’t about you. So please don’t let this bring you down or make you question your self-worth. God has a plan for your life, and this guy’s not in it.
  4. Be careful about revealing your feelings in the future. As I wrote before, guys are pretty open about their feelings. If he doesn’t straight out tell you he likes you, he’ll offer up some signs. 7 Signs That He Is SUPER Into You is a great post to check out. But do me a favor: Don’t read way into some of these signs. I’d add that a guy will show at least five of these signs if he is interested in you.
  5. Read your Bible. Doing so will remind you that life is about God and everything you do is for Him. We often consume ourselves with other people and things, and God gets set on the back burner when we’re supposed to place Him above everything, including that cute guy! Focus on God and everything else will fall into place!
  6. Pray for patience. I know it’s easier said than done. But once you realize that your life and its events are based on God’s plan and not yours, it will be easier to bear the disappointments that come with the blessings.

Good luck and God bless!

Need some advice? Ask your relationship questions in the Ask Olivia Girl Talk forum or in the comments below and I might answer them in a future article!

Image: Thinkstockphotos.com

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8 Comments

  1. kathylynn96

    Posted by kathylynn96 on February 20, 2015 at 09:00

    I don’t know where I would go on Project Inspired to say this, but I found this first, so I’m posting this on here.
    Right before 2014, I met this really attractive guy at my church. He goes to my church’s traditional service and I go to the contemporary service on Saturday nights, so it would be a miracle if we crossed paths again.
    This past Wednesday, 2/18/2015, my church had its first Ash Wednesday service, which happened to be a traditional service.
    Now, this guy happens to be around my age and (hopefully) in college, and after college, he wants to go to seminary school to be a pastor.
    Little did I know that this guy would be helping with the service. He helped during communion and the imposition of the ashes. My pastor imposed the ashes, this guy gave out the wafers, and my pastor’s youngest son gave out the “blood” on the side of the sanctuary I was on.
    After this guy gave me the “body” and I had it, I realized that I was zoning out. Then I realized that I was doing that looking at this guy’s… man parts. I had to quickly look away. Worse part is, this guy’s mom was right next to me.
    I don’t think anybody saw it, but it was still embarrassing.
    What am I supposed to do?

  2. Project Inspired

    Posted by snsongbird97 on December 13, 2014 at 21:01

    This happened to me and to be honest it took a while to finally get over it and think of him just as a friend, because I still saw him about every week at youth group. What happened next was unpredictable, about 2 yrs later he finally did tell me he likes me and the reason he had rejected me before was because he was scared of getting hurt, due to things that happened in his childhood. So all I’m saying is it isn’t always necessarily that (he) doesn’t like you. It can be either or. Just because I say this doesn’t mean every guy is the same. So be sure to pray about it!

  3. tanatiger12

    Posted by tanatiger12 on November 22, 2014 at 01:51

    This isn’t about relationship.
    But what happens if you get a purity ring and then you have sex?? Because I’m not to sure that I want one because I’m not sure if I’m not going to have sex before I’m marreid but its not like that’s what I’m trying to do its just I don’t know what will happen!! That’s all

  4. Project Inspired

    Posted by cgwlove on November 14, 2014 at 16:52

    This is a good article for when the guy you like likes you back, makes the first move, takes you to the homecoming dance, then needs a “break” a few weeks later (yeah right). This happened to me last week and really shook me up. This helps 🙂 any prayers would be appreciated!

  5. Luthien Tinuviel

    Posted by Luthien Tinuviel on October 27, 2014 at 16:06

    Also you can remember that if you think THIS guy is wonderful, and he’s not the one, God has someone even MORE special out there for you!

  6. Project Inspired

    Posted by katrinalove on October 22, 2014 at 23:41

    Hey:) This article is completely right! This year, I also told a guy how I felt about him and he rejected me in a nice way. With all honesty, even if it felt slightly horrible to feel rejected at first, I felt a huge sense of relief that I did not have to sit around and wait for him when he didn’t feel the same way. Also, I felt by telling him the truth I felt that I did not have to live with the regret of not telling him about how I felt about him. Hopefully you feel the same way as me as above. I also recommend in addition to above to pray to God to help you go get over this guy/ and heal your heart and to be friends with him and to grow a closer relationship with God. I have done the above and now my feelings for the guy have disappeared and have been replaced instead with a close friendship. Just keep remembering that God’s plan is for the best! Just a small note:I think if a guy is really interested in you, he would make it clear to you and would make a move. Guys are not like girls- guys think in really simple terms and if they really like you, they will pursue you!!!

  7. Project Inspired

    Posted by Flute2013 on October 22, 2014 at 16:09

    This was great. It’s helping me get through a real heartache. Thank you so much.

  8. Project Inspired

    Posted by JesusFreak3278 on October 22, 2014 at 12:46

    Wow I’m so sorry! I know how hard that is, but on the positive side, I really admire you. It takes sooo much courage to open up like that! I’ve been wanting to tell the guy that I like that I like him for a while now, but I’m too afraid that he won’t feel the same. As hard as this is now, remember that there is that perfect guy for you out there somewhere – you just haven’t found him yet. But when you do find him, this will seem like a little girl crush 🙂 stay strong and don’t give up hope – you WILL find love 🙂