Our Closets Don’t Need to Conform: 4 Things to Remember About the Call to Modesty

    “It’s too hard to find anything modest within my budget.”

    “If I didn’t have such long legs, I’d be able to find a skirt that’s long enough.”

    “At least I’m dressing more modestly than most girls my age.”

    “It’s the only top I have that matches my favorite skirt.”

    “I’m just going to be hanging out with girls, so it doesn’t matter if I’m showing more skin.”

    Have you heard friends say things like this or perhaps said them yourself? Most likely you have, because the truth is, we all sometimes have a tendency to come up with a laundry list of seemingly-reasonable excuses for not doing the things we don’t want to do. And dressing modestly? Well, if we’re honest, that is something we sometimes just don’t want to do. We want to fit in, look stylish and glamorous, and turn the head of the cute guy we’re crushing on. We don’t want to appear weird or “too different” as Christians.

    The problem is, those concerns directly contradict our calling as believers to “not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God” (Romans 12:2). God’s plan and design for His children is that they be separate from the ways of the world (see John 17:14-19), and therefore be willing to yield to the Spirit’s conviction (even when it doesn’t seem convenient or fun!), refusing to make any excuse that would keep them from pursuing a life that honors Christ.

    4 Things to Remember About the Call to Modesty

    I’ve written before on the topic of modesty in reference to how no one can give you a specific list of rules and regulations as to what and what not to wear – that is between you and the conviction and leading of the Holy Spirit in your life. Today, I want to encourage you with four things to remember about the call to modesty that we have been given as followers of Christ. My hope is that these truths will encourage you when the going gets tough and you simply don’t want to dress modestly anymore.

    • It’s for your own good, as well as the good of others.

    God isn’t out to be a cosmic kill-joy by calling you to dress modestly. Instead, He knows that that is one of the best ways to protect, honor, and guard the body and sexuality you have been given. He wants you to have one amazing life of intimacy with your husband when you get married, so He wants you to protect and preserve that part of your life now. And while dressing modestly is ultimately about honoring God, not keeping others from sinning (because, after all, whether or not a guy lusts is ultimately between him and God!), as believers, we are called to not defraud our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. God takes it seriously that we should not do anything which would cause someone else to stumble, and so should we.

    • Christ understands hard callings, and is with you in them.

    Jesus knew how hard it was to do some of the things He had been called to do in His mission to save us. And He understands the hardships we face. He said in John 16:33, “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” Lean on Him, friend!

    • Dressing modestly does not mean you have to become frumpy and lose all sense of style.

    Modesty should not equal frumpiness in our minds. We are daughters of the King and can dress with beauty, grace, dignity, and style. Queen Esther and the Proverbs 31 woman sure did! As you are pursuing a life of modesty, feel free to exercise the freedom you do have to experiment with different styles and looks. Have fun with it! Don’t view it as a hindrance.

    • Dressing modestly can be far easier than you think.

    Whether it is layering a cute cami under a lower-cut top or having fun accessorizing a cute knee-length skirt, it doesn’t have to be challenging to find ways to dress modestly. Take advantage of thrift stores, yard sales, and consignment sales during your hunt for modest items. You can really find a lot of great stuff!

    The truth is that we sometimes view modesty as a hindrance to our fun, our style, and our desire to be attractive. But that does not at all have to be the case. We may have to preach truth to ourselves over and over again and exercise a little creativity, but it can be done!

    Rebekah Hargraves
    Rebekah Hargraves
    Rebekah Hargraves is a wife, mama of two littles, blogger, podcaster, and author whose passion is to edify, equip, and encourage women in their journey of Biblical womanhood, particularly with an emphasis on the gospel and its implications for everyday life. Rebekah's first book, "Lies Moms Believe (And How the Gospel Refutes Them)" released the fall of 2017, and the "Lies Moms Believe" Companion Bible Study came out March 30, 2018. You can find Rebekah on her website, Hargraves Home and Hearth, on Instagram, or on iTunes via The Home and Hearth podcast.

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