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    Q&A – What Do I Do When I Need to Feel Better About My Looks?

    QUESTION:

    I was wondering how I can feel better about myself? I’ve always thought I wasn’t that beautiful. I have a naturally red nose, so I look like Rudolph! I also have lots of acne, too. I do see a dermatologist, but it doesn’t seem to get better! I don’t like my hair, either! It’s so thin! I’m also a bit overweight (at least I think)…my stomach is large and sticks out like a balloon! Please help me! I feel ugly!

    ANSWER:

    It sounds like your issues are mostly self-esteem issues. I’ll offer solutions to the issues you wrote about, but no beauty secret can substitute for self-esteem. No matter what you look like, only you can make yourself feel beautiful. I have a friend who felt similarly about herself at your age and now looks back on her high school pictures and wishes she had enjoyed how truly beautiful she was.

    I suspect that just like my friend, you are more beautiful than you think. Pray to God and ask for him to open your eyes to how truly beautiful you are. Tell yourself you are beautiful every day, even if you don’t always mean it.

    Now to address the issues you wrote about — I think that helping you with these will also help your self-esteem because I know I feel far better about myself when I’m taking good care of myself.

    RED SKIN

    The redness in your skin could be due to irritation. Make sure you’re not using any products that contain alcohol, witch hazel or fragrant plant extracts. Irritation can also cause acne. I’m going to assume that you have combination/oily skin to create an example skin care routine for you.

    1. First, wash your face with CeraVe foaming cleanser. This cleanser is gentle and will cleanse your skin without irritation that can cause acne and redness. Any cleanser that has acne-fighting ingredients will be ineffective because it’s not on the skin long enough to work.

    2. Follow up with Neutrogena Oil Free Acne Stress Control 3-in-1 Hydrating acne treatment applied all over your face. This has salicylic acid, which means that it’s an exfoliant that can prevent acne and keep skin soft.  Most salicylic acid products contain alcohol or witch hazel which can irritate the skin and cause acne.

    3. Apply Clean & Clear Persa Gel 10 on spots and/or acne-prone areas. This product is 10% benzoyl peroxide. When absorbed into the skin, it becomes 4% benzoic acid that can fight acne-causing bacteria.

    4. Follow this with a sunscreen during the day such as Trader Joe’s Enrich Face Lotion SPF 15 and a moisturizer (if needed) at night like CeraVe Moisturizing Lotion. I know this routine to be very effective and if you have any questions or concerns feel free to let me know and I can adjust this routine accordingly.

    THIN HAIR

    There are a few products that can do wonders for thin hair. You can start in the shower by using a volumizing shampoo and conditioner. Many brands make this type of product and it can be easily found at the drugstore. If your hair is dry, try using a dry shampoo sprayed into the roots to give volume. Got2B and Suave have dry shampoo products that you can find in your local drugstore.  Got2B also makes PowderFull, a volumizing powder that can be sprinkled into the roots and massaged in; this stuff creates a lot of volume!

    HEALTHY WEIGHT

    If you feel like you need to slim down, make sure you find an exercise you enjoy that you can do several times a week. One thing that really helped me also is to know what appropriate portion sizes are when it comes to meals.

    I don’t always like stopping to measure out my food. Solution: You can measure your food portions very simply with a plate.

    Here’s how:

    Take a look at your meal on your plate. It should be half full of vegetables, a quarter meat/protein and a quarter carbohydrates. This simple method has helped me a lot, especially when I was going through adolescence.

    I hope that you feel better about yourself soon because I know you truly are beautiful!

    [image: thinkstock.com]

    Do you have any concerns with how you look, or want some additional advice? Leave your question here, and I’ll give you my best advice! -Nicole

    Jamie Dorman
    Jamie is a makeup artist based in Los Angeles, CA. She works in multiple mediums including print and film. Jamie also writes for a blog she curates that focuses on affordable cosmetics. In her spare time she likes to play guitar, write songs, paint and sculpt. Jamie is thrilled to combine her love for makeup artistry and God when she writes for Project Inspired.

    105 COMMENTS

    1. i have really bad eczema, especially on my face, and it gets red and peels all the time. the only thing my doc does is prescribe medication which has cortozone in it, which my mom hates and which makes me break out if i use it more than two days in a row. i was wondering if anyone on here uses anything that helps them with it? it really bugs me and is probably one of the only looks issue i struggle with
      also, ive been having a fight with my hair recently: it isnt growing as fast as i want it to. anyone know anything to help make it grow faster?
      thanks and God bless! 🙂

      • As for your skin- Have you seen a dermatologist for this, or just a regular doctor? Go see a derm if you haven’t already, they can get you on the right medication- because they ARE out there. Also, join a website called MakeupAlley.com. They have a skin care board on there that offers tips, all different types of questions and answers from girls. I’m obsessed with that website! They also have product reviews, so you can see how a new makeup product rates. For your hair, take a Biotin supplement which is good for hair skin and nails. Also, Moroccan hair care is good for building healthy strands.

        • my mom doesnt actually like using medicine. shes more into natural remedies and herbs and stuff. also, i dont wear makeup at all (this being a big reason why!)
          but thanks for the tips! ill have to try them out

      • I also have eczema on my scalp, knees, elbows, etc…. There’s no cure for it, unfortunately. It tends to move around a lot, so don’t be surprised if it disappears from your face only to show up somewhere else. Don’t use cortisone. Even if it removes the eczema, it’ll break down your immune system. Not good at all. First of all, try and see if you’re allergic to anything. Eczema is a result of an allergic reaction and usually starts when you’re very young. You could be allergic to anything from food items to ingredients in your shampoo/conditioner/lotion/perfume or any other cosmetic products. If you’re like me though and have had it too long to have any idea of what you’re allergic to, just be gentle with it. I talked an Aurevedic doctor in India. They specialize in treatments that are natural. He suggested that I use Pears soap (http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_6?field-keywords=pears+soap&url=search-alias%3Daps&x=0&y=0&sprefix=pears+) because it’s very gentle. He also gave me some other medicines. They were very helpful. Unfortunately, I ran out of the medicine before the treatment time was up, so I’ll never know if it would have worked completely, but it helped a lot. Unfortunately, I have no idea where you could get it.(other than in India) I’ve been told that if you put a little bit of oil on it and leave it on your skin for a few minutes before you take a shower or wash it off, it helps. I use baby oil. Coconut oil or olive oil would also be good. Also, I use Aveeno naturals with oatmeal bodywash and oatmeal is really good for your skin and can help with eczema. I can’t guarantee complete recovery, but it may make it more manageable. Mine isn’t as severe as yours, either, so I don’t know how well all this will work for you. But above all, pray about it and I will pray for you too. There’s no skin disease God can’t take care of. And remember you are beautiful despite your eczema. Beauty isn’t determined by what’s on your face, it’s determined by what’s in your heart, and if God is in your heart, there’s nothing that can keep you from being beautiful and letting His light shine through you.

      • Hey, I had that too when I was younger. My mom got this prescription cream from doctor and my skin cleared right up! I’m not sure what this is but ask your doctor for a prescription eczema cream.

    2. my mum, friends and even guy friends sometimes tell me I’m pretty; but i can’t see it. it seems like guys only notice the pretty tan skinny girls with big breasts…. but i don’t look like that at all. why are guys like this?

      • Because that’s what the media tells them is attractive since they were young. That’s what they’ve been exposed to- does that make sense? Same thing, why do girls think guys with ripped chests and no hair is hot? That’s not realistic, and personally I don’t like that look at all. Trust me, not all guys like that. Many boys like short, curvy, petite women with small breasts too! But don’t focus on what BOYS want, focus on YOU, what GOD wants from you, and try to realize that you are perfectly made, and that you will meet the right man in the future that knows you are absolutely perfect, because you are!

      • If a guy really likes YOU, he’ll think you’re beautiful regardless of what you look like. Lots of guys I know have said that when they really actually like a girl, it doesn’t matter what she looks like on the outside. She could be totally flat or fat or plain-looking, they don’t care. The looks are just what they notice first. But the right kind of guy will take the time and effort to go past that and see the real you. I suggest you read the book Every Young Woman’s Battle by Shannon Ethridge and Stephen Arterburn.

    3. I have reddish brown hair(more red than brown, and it’s actually natural), and I’m having trouble finding makeup for homecoming that would work. I’ve heard that redheads cant use light pink eye shadow or any pastel colors because it flushes them out. Is it true?

      • yes, I wouldn’t wear pinkish eyeshadow- or blue- stay away from those eyeshadow colors, and stick with greens, golds, browns, and some purple- go get your makeup done at a Chanel counter or Lancome, and they can help you! (usually you have to buy just 2 products.) It’s worth it, trust me! You’ll look gorgeous no matter what!

    4. hmm this reminds me of a post i read of FB. it goes like this:
      What is “ugly”?
      Not having designer clothing ?
      Not having your boobs hanging out of your shirt ,
      or your ass hanging out of your shorts ?
      Maybe not being able to see your ribs ?
      Or feel your bones in your thighs ?
      Having acne?
      Not wearing makeup ?
      Having braces ?
      Or glasses ?
      Is that what ugly is?
      Or maybe another word for “ugly” is
      society.
      In my opinion, no girl is ugly no matter how they look.

    5. I’ve never found myself to be beautiful. My cheeks are too chubby, my eyes aren’t as pronounced as I’d like, my hair makes me feel blah, my body isn’t wha’t I’d like. Overall, i’m pretty plain, and not afraid to admit it, although it kind of hurts. I’ve really been asking God lately to help me feel more like myself than all the people i try to copy to feel prettier (which never works). its just so hard sometimes to really enjoy life when your mind is filled with what you wish you could be. I occasionally have breakdowns, usually in my room at night, because i wish i could be ‘perfect,’ whatever that is.
      Last night, I believe God spoke to me, in a way. I did have a breakdown last night, crying and whatnot, and pretty much just ranting to God. I turned on my radio after I calmed down a bit, set to a Christian radio station, and it was a song about how “God is making me new.” then i read a chapter in the Bible, like i do every night, and read Acts chapter ten. what really got to me was verse 9-16. “What God has cleansed you must not call common.” No one is common or boring in God’s eyes. And no matter what, whether you feel Him there or not, He is there. I felt like I should share this. (:

      • Thank you for sharing and that’s so true! We’re His creation! I think when we criticize the way we look sometimes, we’re being very selfish and petty and thoughtless. After all, it’s not like we’re deformed like so many others. And what purpose does being pretty have? Other than attracting guys, (which it really doesn’t. confidence attracts guys) which shouldn’t matter since we know God himself will bring the right person to us and it has nothing to do with what we look like.

    6. The reason I don’t purposely try to make myself look better (makeup, special hair products, diets) is because I don’t know if I could keep myself from getting too involved or worried about it all. I’ve gone through stretches where I have really low self-esteem because of my looks, but instead of trying to make myself look better (and I’ll still be comparing myself to other people, and it will never be good enough!) I just accept myself for who I am and don’t worry about it.

    7. I have been struggling with getting over an eating disorder for about a year now, and lately I’ve been struggling harder then ever, I’ve already been to rehab and I really don’t want to go back, I’m only 16 and I don’t want to live my life in and out of rehab, if you have anything that would help I would appreciate it so much!

      • I can’t offer too much advice other than please, continue seeing a psychologist if you have one now- or start seeing one. An eating disorder is an internal factor of something else that you are trying to control, and it’s a disease. Please love and respect your body because it’s a temple in which the Holy spirit dwells within. Look up healthy weight celebrities and how beautiful they are, and print them out as a reminder. Photos are so airbrushed, NO celebrity or model looks like their picture! I hope this helped a little bit- I am praying for you. 🙂

    8. I am a very skinny person, but I don’t have an eating disorder. I think my hair is too thin and I try volumizing things but they never work on me. Maybe Im not trying the right products. I feel bad because a lot of girls at my school have really cute outfits and I only have a few cute things. What can I do to help me feel better about myself?

      • I felt the same way in middle school/high school. My family couldn’t afford the “cute things.” All I can tell you is that it gets better! It’s just a stage. And if your personality is one that is confident and shines despite the circumstances, no one will even notice what you’re wearing-whether it’s cute or not. Clothes are meant as a covering not as a status symbol, so dont make it one.

        Having said that, if you really want cute clothes for cheaper prices, try stores like Ross, Marshalls, Gordmans, and used clothing stores. Sometimes it’ll take some time to find something great, but when you do it’s like uncovering treasure!

    9. I still don’t think I can accept myself for who I am though, as Laura commented. It’s just not that easy for me! I like your tips Jamie, but unfortunately, my family can’t really afford new products right now. We had a house fire and my brother is in a really expensive college in Tennessee, (not for long though), and soon I will be off to college! We are having financial difficulties. To tell you the truth we’ve never we don’t usually buy new fancy products… we just use cheap inexpensive stuff. I do have a job at the moment, so I might be willing to buy at least one new thing. It’s just so hard to treat yourself to something like that when you know you can’t afford it! I will save this information though. Thanks so much! I will certainly pray! God Bless!

    10. What I notice first about a person is not how attractive they are. I notice if they’re smiling, if they’re happy, confident with themselves, or kind to others. We always seem to think that the first things people notice about us are the things we see as ugly. Think about the way you view other people- don’t people seem much more attractive when they come up and say hi to you? Or sit next to you in class? How people treat others is really what stands out, whether we think so or not. I’ve known some really physically attractive people who were so mean, snobby, and self-absorbed that from then on in my mind they were ugly as dirt, just because of the way they treated other people. LOVE, not APPEARANCE, is really what’s beautiful and attractive! 🙂

    11. what worked for me and my twin is this
      1) get a washcloth and rinse it in lukewarm water and wringe it out and lay it over your face for 15 seconds -the steam will open up your pores-
      2) gently wash your face with dove soap and rinse with lukewarm water wait for it to dry
      3) when your face is dry cut a lemon in half and squeeze some onto your hand and rub it all over your face it starts to burn rinse it off in 3 seconds if not leave it on for 10 seconds.
      4) after you rinse your face after the lemon you can use any kind of exfoliater -i personally recemond Saint ives peach scrub- rub the exfoliater on your face and rinse off with cold water do this for about a week and your skin will be clear also drinking 8 glasses of water every day helps a lot too 🙂

      • Your comment reminded me of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vkCR2ZWAe4 I’ve only tried it twice, but I think it’s working and the response videos all talk about how it has worked. I’ve also started putting a warm, damp towel on my face. Someone told me that instead of popping your pimples(which spreads the infection) if you put a cloth with warm water on it up to your pimples, it’ll take out the puss, without piercing the skin. I was a little skeptical at first, but it worked!

    12. also everyone is beautifully and fearfully made. the most beautiful creation God made is women and i think were all beautiful. Don’t let people or the media get you down stay strong and with Gods help you will and can succeed. 🙂

    13. I also have really low self-confidence. When people tell me I’m pretty I either laugh or roll my eyes and say thanks. The thing is I like my hair and eyes and I am really skinny. It’s just I hate my skin and nose, I am definetly working on myself though. Thanks for everything y’all do!

      • Don’t laugh it off. People don’t normally go out of their way to lie and tell someone they’re pretty. Do you? Cause if you don’t, most others wont. I was the same way, so I understand, but it’s self-damaging. Just say thank-you and move on. Dont dwell on it too long or pride will seep in

    14. For all of the girls out there who think that they are ugly, you are sooo NOT! God thinks you are his beautiful creation! There could never be someone like YOU =D You mean soo much to Him and He cares sooo much about you! Every little inch of you is special to Him. He couldnt have made you in any better way (: . Believe me, He knew you before you were born. It took me soooo long to realize that…

    15. I went through many years of low self-esteem, many years of which I didn’t realize I didn’t see myself the way God saw me. I viewed myself as a fat, ugly girl with glasses and stick-straight hair. The only time I felt beautiful was when I wore my prom dress. Finally, last October, a very close friend began working with me to overcome this attitude. He helped me see the value in myself, to know the confidence I have in God and in His love to me. Through this friend, God was able to help me break those chains of self-esteem. Now, being in my first relationship, I am more secure and confident in who I am- which is one of the reasons my wonderful boyfriend was attracted to me.

      All this to say..Girls, know that you are beautiful in God’s eyes. Even with no make-up, hair not done, and in flannel PJs, you are just as beautiful to Him as when you’re all decked out. Read verses about how He loves you, and take it to heart! You are precious, beautiful, and wonderfully made!

    16. I used to have really bad self-esteem issues, but now I’m slowly starting to see my beauty, inside and out, and I’m beginning to accept the fact that I’m beautiful. It’s taken me years to accept that, and now I’m starting to.

    17. I’m always being told by my family that I’m pretty, but, sometimes I just don’t believe them.
      I have a kinda flabby tummy, and my thighes, are really fat.
      Do you know of any exersises to help cut down the fat on my thighs? I rollerblade and bike allot.

        • If you bike a lot, you’re already working on your legs muscles. I would bet that that’s not fat in your thighs, but rather muscles which probably makes them look bigger than most of the other girls around you that probably aren’t as healthy. If they are muscle, don’t try to get rid of them, embrace them!

    18. Okay I have posted before about this and I will do it again lol! I ADORE Arbonne products their Clear Advantage line is an acne line and it does WONDERS for my skin I have fairly oily skin and very little redness or acne since I started using Clear Advantage. All of the Arbonne products are FAR cheaper than prescription products and very gentle because they are all organic and never tested on animals. All of their products are 100% Natural which means to perfumes to irritate the skin and if using all 3 of the acne products starts to dry up your skin use the Fc5 day lotion in the morning after washing your face it has SPF 15 and smells amazing and is made of several different fruits and such. And no I am not being paid to say this I just use their products and am madly in LOVE with them. Hope this helps! I understand how you feel about your skin because I have a red skin and used to have pretty bad acne. Chin up girl every one of us is beautiful. Something that helps me is to find one feature that I LOVE about myself on the part of me that I am starting to dislike. Like say if I am getting self conscious of my acne I look at my eyes and smile and remember how much I love them or if I am feeling poorly about having a flat bum (yes that is a MAJOR insecurity that I have! Stupid I know) I look at my legs and realize that I love them. Just my personal tips/tricks!

    19. Wow… i really dont get people… It’s like we’re so desensitized we dont know the meaning of words like “beautiful” “Perfect” “lovable” Its like we’ve confused beauty for being fake. And trashy for pretty.

    20. Nicole,
      I want to get into shape. You know, build muscle and my endurance. The thing is I’m already a little underweight and I don’t wanna lose any more weight. (I bet you’ve never heard that before, huh?) Also, I have a full schedule, so I don’t have a lot of time for exercise. But I am willing to make a little time. After I gotta maintain this temple of God. Do you have any advice?

    21. Nicole, These are just some really great resources for Christian girls that I thought you would be interested in. Maybe you’ve already heard of them.
      1st) the book by Shannon Ethridge and Stephen Arterburn, Every Young Woman’s Battle. It’s amazing. I can’t give a good description on what it’s about because it covers everything from modesty, to sex, to guys, to self image, to marriage and it talks about God’s will in each of those areas. I suggest it to all Christian girls.
      2nd) http://www.therebelution.com/modestysurvey/ It’s a website where Christian guys talk about modesty and what girls wear that can be a stumbling block for them. If you click “survey results,” you can see specific examples such as, “it’s ok for girls to wear tighter more revealing clothes when working out.” You can see a graph of the amount of guys that agree or disagree, and you can scroll down and see actual comments made by guys on the subject. It includes their age too, so you can what age group thinks what. It’s very interesting and has been helpful to me. Maybe it’ll be helpful to your other readers. Also, it helped me realize that not all guys want a girl that dresses immodestly.

    22. Something my grandpa always says to me that really helps with how u see yourself is That is is proven that when you look at yourself that you only think your ugly because all you see is your flaws and you focus on them, But when others look at you they see you as you really are the whole package and see all the good to. He said you are at least 25% prettier than you believe

      • There’s a lot of truth in that. I think jerks and overly-judgemental people immediately look for outer flaws in a person, which is pretty shallow. Appearances can say a lot sometimes, but they most certainly don’t tell the whole story. Basically, ‘don’t judge a book by it’s cover’, or something like that.

        • 1_artist: Thank you for this post! Two of my friends at school met some of my summer friends and declared them unworthy of their friendship all because of how they look. I can’t even mention my summer friends without these two vehemently saying how ugly, weird, and shallow they are. I believe that my summer friends are beautiful with flaws that are out shined by their personality. I pray every day that the two groups would finally accept each other as they are.

    23. I have always struggled with my self-image and I still do. It is very frustrating that I can’t wear my hair like most girls do. I am an African-American girl and have coarse hair. It is very hard to do things with and my mother has taken me to different hairstylists but they all damaged my hair. It really kills my self-esteem along with my weight. I find it hard to accept myself since the media makes it seem like beauty is when you have long flowing hair and a slim body.

      • You are Beautiful, whether your hair is long and slim doesn’t matter, i’m fully African and i’m guessing my hair is alittle worse, I’d advice u to just do simple things like using a relaxer to straighten it, or braiding it, I mostly relax and braid it and it helps doesn’t damage my hair as long as you regulate and take care of your hair. All i can say is that be proud of who you are, do what you can do with what you have, i bet you are so much prettier than you think and most importantly don’t compare yourself to anyone, you are you for a reason and being yourself is the best person you can ever be. Stay strong 🙂

    24. Im 14. And I am actually overweight. Like not skinny and think I am fat. I really am. Its hard because even comparing myself to the girls at school, I am alot bigger. And the uniforms don’t help either. I also have naturally curly hair that can look really frizzy sometimes and dry and red skin. I feel like sometimes since I look so different from most people when I try to be bold and share Jesus its like there is too much different about me.

      • you are so beautiful Sav- you have to look at the inner beauty and let that radiate within you! That’s one matters and lasts! If a girl is only pretty on the outside, that gets boring within about a minute. Share your sparkly personality with the world!

    25. I used to (and still is) battling low self-esteem. I started turning to guys who just liked me for the way my body looked. I become obsessed with things that made me look “hot” but one night I prayed for the first time in months, and I opened my eyes to the sin I had put myself in. I still don’t always feel 100% pretty all the time, but I am getting better. I am so glad I have this website to turn to!

    26. Hi Nicole! I was just wondering, what is your opinion about bikini’s? In your photos, I saw you were wearing a blue one. Do you consider it inappropriate? And also, if a photo shoot you were wearing a bustier dress which was tight and revealing on top. Do you support it? And if not, why would you wear those clothes? Thanks!

    27. dont wory about your looks god created u that way to be yourself . dont look at others that they r preettier than u because people who have the most perfect little faces means ruined face and sin to god.

    28. I have a lot of issues with my body image…. Like i have really bad acne and sensitive skin. I don’t wear make-up at all, because it makes me break out. Also, because my mother doesn’t believe in letting young girls wear a lot of make-up and stuff. The other issue is I’m big in all the wrong places and not in others (like my stomach is big). Also, I had scoliosis and had to have spinal surgery to correct it. So then I feel awkward all the time….Do you have any advice?

    29. my sister is struggling with the way her profile looks because her jaw is slightly smaller than its supposed to be. she has to have alot of orthodontistry work done to it, including regular braces. she really struggles with the way she looks because of that, she thinks it makes her look younger than she really is. (she’s 13) i try my best to encourage her, because i dont even notice it at all, she’s so beautiful, inside and out. but just like any stubborn teenage girl, she battles with the insecurity just like i did when i was her age. i am a senior in highschool and i still even struggle, because i am very short and petite, fair skinned, small chest. its hard to help her because she sees me struggle as well. i want to help myself so i can help her, you know? i am confident with myself because i am God’s daughter and i am loved. but i still struggle because alot of girls at my highschool are very materialistic and crave attention in the wrong ways, i cant avoid being around them because i have to go to school. its so tempting to want to give into because it seems to be working for them.

    30. Hey Nicole! I think it’s so awesome what you’re doing through this website, it’s so honoring to God. Also, it’s such a good breath of fresh in a world that is constantly telling me that I’m not good enough. I’ve been struggling with an eating disorder for over a year and it’s been extremely difficult. Sometimes I don’t see how it will ever end. But, I know that God is always with me, no matter what I feel. Your website has reallyy encouraged me! Thank you so much!<3

    31. The thing is true beauty is something in the heart. You can be gorgeous on the outside but if your heart is ugly that will show through. But If your heart is beautiful it shines through making you outwardly beautiful. I mean think about it would you rather spend time with someone who is gorgeous but mean or someone normal looking but super kind? And outward beauty goes away but inward beauty can always stay.
      Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30
      I am not saying outward beauty is not good, but that there are more important things, don’t forget in your quest to be beautiful that the heart is more important.

      • Adding to what I said before. Sometimes in our culture we put so much emphasis on outward beauty that inner beauty becomes unimportant in comparison. This is a major problem for me. I am the girl who people talk to when they need help, I work really hard to be kind, loving and helpful, but I often don’t feel it is enough. I am overweight because of medical conditions, I have struggled with bulimia for years because no matter how little I ate, how much I worked out, I couldn’t lose weight, now I know why, but the low self esteem has not gone away. Even though people tell me I’m beautiful all the time, I never feel like I am. This at times turned into a hatred of myself, which turned into a cutting problem for me. And then one day someone was talking to me, I had just met her 3 weeks before, and she told me her whole life story, then she said, “I have never told anyone this much about me before, thank you for being so kind to me.” In that moment I realized that she didn’t care if I was skinny or if I looked perfect all the time. She needed me to be beautiful in a different way, in a heart way. No this did not solve all my self esteem problems, but it did take the head knowledge of that being kind is more important then being pretty, and put it in my heart. I would rather help people by being genuine and kind, then be beautiful in the way the world defines it.

    32. No person is perfect except for Jesus. Celebrities try to look ‘perfect’, but it’s only their perception of what they think is perfect (and magazine pictures are not reliable either). As long as you take care of yourself and respect your body–God’s temple–you’ll feel much better. Who needs botox and implants? Nothing beats what God gave you (one reason why altering your body, God’s temple, is a sin–that includes piercings and tattoos). Just treat it right and, like I said, you’ll feel much better.

      • Adding to what I said, the mainstream ideal wants everyone to look pretty much the same–and celebrities that get too much alterations end up looking the same as other celebrities, and it’s so fake too.
        Instead of trying to look like everyone else, embrace what makes you unique. If you like to dress up, wear clothes that flatter your figure and features. Just stay positive and don’t fall into vanity, or getting over-obsessed about how you look, because that’s one thing that distracts us from God.

        • I have large pores that don’t help with keeping acne away! I’ve tried tons of foundations but they all look like I try too hard to cover my face. I want a foundation that looks natural. Does anyone have suggestions?

        • Yes! Giorgio Armani’s liquid foundation- it goes on like a dream, trust me it is WORTH it. It will make your skin look FLAWLESS.

    33. I have noticed that having that “model look” doesnt make you pretty at my school theres this one bigger girl…but she has an amazing personality, she is nice and funny and super real. Its hard but I like to focus on my personality because I have noticed that people find your personality to be as important if not more important than your “look”

    34. Why don’t you have a fitness tab? Fitness/being fit means healthy, not “skinny.” I have a few friends who look skinny, but they have ZERO muscle tone…they are UNHEALTHY. I go to the gym with my mom a lot and I have been to a nutritionist about making healthy choices. Will you ever have a fitness trainer or someone answer our questions/give advice?

    35. All my life I’ve been told that I’m super nice and pretty, but I just can’t bring myself to believe it. Also, my doctor actually told me that I need to lose weight for my health. I personally agree with her. I eat way too much, more than even my parents most of the time. It’s like I can’t stop, even if I want to. Help!

    36. I’ve been having problems with acne for a while now-I have a really oil face- and NOTHING seems to work! I have always struggled with self-esteem since I was 11 -I’m 13- I’m pretty chubby around my legs mostly because I have a lot of muscle there, I have super thick, way too curly, brownish-red hair. My family and friends all tell me I’m pretty, but I don’t believe them…Do you all have any verses or anything to make me feel a little better? 🙂

    37. For as long as I can remember I’ve hated my outward appearance. I know that’s not how God wants me to feel, but I have a hard time accepting that my body frame and my face are going to stay the way they are, despite the makeup I cake on. I’ve seriously considered starving myself to lose weight, even though I know about the critical damage it causes. It seems like left and right, things are destroying my self esteem. Does self-talk actually change your thought process, or does it temporarily make you feel better?

    Project Inspired

    We here at Project Inspired want to guide and inspire teen girls to be true to themselves and to God. We want to show young girls how to be people of value and confidence – how to be your own best selves – through leading a Christian life. Who are we? We're a team of girls, like you. We edit the site, we post to social media, we hang out in the chat rooms and forums. We talk with you, we listen to you, and we love you!

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