From Nicole: Read this article by Project Inspired reader, Jessica, to see how you need to be aware when you are tempted!
Many teens seem to get wrapped up in thinking about dating and relationships. Our hormones are changing as we’re growing and sometimes it’s hard to control our urges for things like sex and dating. But, how can we stop these urges and avoid doing things that we’ll regret when we get older?
First of all, we all go through this period in our lives. All you can think about is getting guys to like you and finding the right guy to be with. Sometimes, all you can think about is one particular boy that you’ve had a crush on forever. Or sometimes all you can think about are these kinds of thoughts: What boy should I date? This boy is cute and sweet, but this boy is funny and smart – which one should I date? How do I even know which boy likes me for who I am and not for who I pretend to be? Which boy do I see in my future as a husband and possible father to my children?
With so many questions and mixed emotions that we have for each guy, it’s hard to answer the question, What do I do? If you’ve already been in a relationship before, you know that breakups can be really unfair and unexpected. Have you ever felt mad at him for breaking up with you and have been left wanting to plan revenge on him?!
This is not the way we should date or look for a boyfriend.
My advice: Before you ever get into any relationship at all, you need to be right with God. You can’t possibly understand the full value of Love without knowing God personally. God is Love, so without God, how can you possibly understand the value of a relationship? How can you possibly have a lasting relationship without God? The truth is, you can’t truly love someone without having real Love in your life.
The next thing you need to know is that once you’re right with God, when you understand what love really is, God will lead you to find your perfect match! He knows you better than you know yourself. He knows who will make you happiest. Don’t ever look for a boyfriend because God already has everything planned out for you.
Don’t try to choose anything for yourself, because honestly, only God knows everything about everyone.
He knows who your perfect match is. He won’t fail you if you give Him a chance to do things His Way. Everything – and I mean everything! – happens for a reason! He won’t let you down. In the Bible it says God will never leave us or forsake us. So why worry about a relationship with some boy when you just need to let God take care of you?
Another important thing to remember is that a guy can win your heart over really easily. Any guy knows how to help ‘tape up your heart’ if your heart’s been broken. But, that guy ONLY knows how to ‘tape up’ your heart…tape is temporary! Only God knows how to fully mend and heal your heart with perfection! He doesn’t use tape. He’s able to mend and heal your heart permanently, unlike any guy you’ll ever meet.
Now, I’m definitely NOT telling you to stop dating but rather I’m telling you that you should allow God to do the perfect matchmaking for you. Don’t ever trust your own instincts alone because chances are, they may not be right all of the time. The best way to avoid getting hurt again is to just stop searching and allow God to choose Mr. Right for you!
And now onto other desires…sexual desires. Some desires are again because of our changing hormones. I would know, I’m a teenager, too. Everyone gets those sexual urges and fantasize about sex. Some young girls are even led to try sex before marriage, the desire being too great for them to handle. But, these desires are NOT too hard for God to handle! These are temptations from Satan. In fact, God NEVER tempts anyone.
“Let no one say when he is tempted, ‘I am tempted by God’; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone. But each is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed.’ – James 1:13-14
When we are tempted by the flesh, we don’t care what the spirit feels, we just want what feels good to the flesh, like sex. When you are tempted by the flesh for sex or other selfish desires, remember this little verse:
“Submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” – James 4:7
So, during your times of temptation, submit to God. Draw closer to Him and the devil will leave you. God wants you to lean on Him for everything. God wants to feel helpful and let us use Him. He created us so He can know that He is needed. He is the only God.
You may find Mr. Right at 18 years old, or you may find Mr. Right at 80 years old. It all depends on how quickly you allow God to make decisions for you and rely on His perfect judgment. Besides, what is love, if you don’t fully have Love in your life?