Q&A – How Can I Be Just Friends With a Guy and Not Have Him Thinking I’m Interested in a Relationship?
Written by Aysha Ives | September 3, 2011
I decided that I wasn’t going to date in high school (I’m a junior now), but I still want to be friends with guys. The thing is, when I tell guys I’m not dating, they suddenly lose any interest, even in being friends. Am I just looking for a friend in the wrong guys, or should I keep it more of a secret that I’m not dating?
To put it simply: How can I be just friends with a guy and not have him think I’m interested in a relationship?
I think that it’s great that you’ve decided not to date while you’re in high school. This decision probably prevents you from experiencing some of the temptations that other girls your age experience in regards to sex and other dating issues.
You should never compromise your values or hide your beliefs in order to impress another person. If a boy isn’t interested in being just friends with you even after you’ve explained your expectations, then it’s better that you find male friends that are better at respecting your boundaries. Ask God to place respectful Christian boys in your life who want to be friends with you for who you are and not because of what they expect from you.
Meanwhile, be sure that you’re setting clear boundaries and that you’re being consistent about not giving mixed messages to the boys that are around you. It might be tempting to flirt with boys to try to keep them around but that only sends mixed messages and is probably not a good idea if you truly just want a friendship.
Ask God for wisdom during your interactions with male peers and He’ll give it to you abundantly. Rely on The Holy Spirit to guide you in what to say and to help you discern if your male “friends” are truly people who need to be in your life.
I know that this may have been a tough decision, but I’m so proud of you for making this choice!
Don’t you know that your body is a temple that belongs to the Holy Spirit? (1 Corinthians 6:19)
God is pleased with you for making the choice to avoid the temptation to date while in high school. Don’t allow the behavior of others to deter you from your Godly decision!
What are you thoughts, ladies?
Written by Aysha Ives