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    Q&A – How Do I Ask My Parents for a Purity Ring?

    Question:

    How do I ask my parents for a purity ring?

    Answer:

    Before asking for a purity ring, I highly suggest taking a bit of time to really think about why you want one. Purity rings are not just another piece of jewelry to be worn simply because we like them. A purity ring serves more than one purpose.

    • It’s a promise between you and God that you’ll remain sexually pure until after you’re married.
    • It’s a testimony to everyone you meet that you’ve made this promise.

    Think very carefully about it before approaching your parents to ask for a purity ring. Remember that receiving and committing to wearing a purity ring is a promise to God.

    When you make this promise to God, the devil will throw every temptation he can at you. There’ll be several cute boys many who may say that they’re interested in you but who may be more interested in challenging your boundaries.

    You’ll also need to be prepared to defend what you believe and why you believe it. I suggest before asking your parents you read up on what the Bible says about sexual purity. If your parents are not believers, I also suggest doing some research on sexually transmitted diseases to defend your decision to remain pure. There’s one more question you may need to answer, especially if your parents are not believers:

    Why do you need a ring to stay pure? Can’t you decide to stay pure without a ring?

    This question is why it’s so important to prepare before asking your parents for a purity ring. You need to know exactly why it is that you want a purity ring. Will you use it as a tool for evangelism, to share God with others? Do you respond well to visual reminders? In that case, the ring will serve as a constant reminder to you in tempting situations. You need to know how to answer this question honestly.

    Once you’ve prepared through prayerful consideration, approach your parents and let them know you would like to talk to them about something important to you. Ask when a good time would be for them to have that conversation with you. Don’t rush them and be respectful of their time.

    When you finally sit down to have this conversation, remembering a few key points will help make it pleasant, regardless of your parents’ answer.

    • The decision to remain pure is a mature decision. So in your conversation with your parents, don’t resort to immature behaviors like yelling or whining if things don’t seem to be going your way.
    • Your purity ring is a covenant symbol between you and God; your behavior when asking for it and when wearing it will speak to others about both your relationship with God and who God is. With this in mind, have grace when asking for your ring. God gives us grace all the time and it’s important we extend grace to others, including our parents.
    • Remember that any discussion of purity is going to involve some talk of sex. For many parents, fathers especially, talking about sex with their daughters is very difficult and can make them uncomfortable. Choose your words carefully and do your best to keep the conversation respectful.

    Regardless of whether or not your parents are believers, it’s likely they’ll be proud of your decision to remain sexually pure, but it’s your job to help them understand why this is important to you and why you need or want a symbol to support your decision.

    PI girls, do you have any other advice about asking for a purity ring?

    Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe (1 Timothy 4:12).

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    Jenn Arman
    Jenn Arman is a youth pastor, freelance writer and blogger. She was born in San Diego, California and raised 2 hours north east in the Inland Empire where she lives with her husband David and their cats. Jenn desires to bring glory to God and a healthy dose of reality to Christians through both writing and preaching. Visit jenniferarman.com for more on her work. You can also connect with her on www.facebook.com/JenniferArman.Writer and https://twitter.com/JennArman

    35 COMMENTS

    1. I asked my parents for one and they’re getting me one soon! I did my research and since I always have said that I’m saving myself for marriage,why not get one! I was kinda iffy about it but now i’m open to it! I’m also going to ask my parents if we can take courting classes. I am so excited to get one! My promise with God,can’t wait!!! ^(^o^)^

      • My older sister asked for one and a couple years after she got one I felt called to get one and I asked my mom and she said as long as I understood what it meant and now I have one:) but what are courting classes?

    2. Basically I would just say “This is something I truly believe in because *state reason* and I hope you can support me in my choice.” Personally, I didn’t tell my mom it I have one but she figured out what it is. Most parents will be proud as long as you are getting it for the right reasons 🙂

    3. My parents got me one when I was confirmed. (I don’t remember who’s idea it was anymore. We all agreed on the purity part long before that, but my mom was probably the one to come up with the ring part.) I really like it. 🙂

    4. I asked my Dad for one last Christmas since marriage is something we talk about a lot. He got it for me! But, my ring, along with being purity ring, is also a promise to me, my family, and most importantly- God that I will not ever date. A few years ago, God chose to reveal many things to me about courtship, dating, and marriage. So, I will never ever in my life be in a dating relationship. Just courtship, when I’m ready to get married. And oh, how I cannot wait for that day!

    5. I just ordered one and my mom gave me the little “talk.” I’ve read many articles about it in Christian mags and this website. I’ve also discussed it with my older BFF. I think it’s your decision.

    6. So… I recently brought up the topic of a purity ring with my mom. And she said she wasn’t really all for the idea of a strictly “purity” ring. She said that she didn’t want me to be hung up on JUST the purity aspect. She wanted it to be more of a reminder that I am making a promise to both my heavenly and my earthly Father. She didn’t want me to JUST look at it as “don’t have sex before marriage,” but as a reminder of the fact that God is in control of my life, and that He knows what’s best for me. Not just that I’m “waiting” for something. Life isn’t about just waiting for heaven, it’s about learning to love God more and more, and living in a way that pleases Him.

    7. I got mine when I turned 13:) I love it. But I would say that a purity ring is about more than sexual purity, because you can still go down a lot of bad roads, even if you don’t have sex before marriage. It’s a heart issue at the core. It’s saying that Jesus is sufficient for you.

    8. I’ve wanted one before, but never ended up getting one. I’d ask my parents, but I know they’ll just tell me to buy it myself if I want it. Also, I couldn’t have this conversation with my parents, because my dad’s a jerk and doubts the fact that any teenager could make a decision or commitment to stay pure. He’ll make comments implying that he thinks I’d fool around if someone approached me just because I’m a teenager, and I hate how he doesn’t care how angry that makes me and he never takes me seriously when I’m doing my best to explain myself and tell the truth. Sorry, I’m on a rant right now, ignore me.

      Actually, I think my parents are insane if they think I’m going to ask for their advice if I ever meet someone special again.

    9. I went to a bible camp and one of the leaders had a purity ring. She told me a story of how her ring got caught on the playground equiptment and dislocated her finger. I didn’t know it was a purtiy ring at the time and I didn’t understand why she still wore it when it could be dangerous. She then explained to me how it was more than just a ring, that it was a promise to God and to her future husband that she would stay pure until marriage. She’d even got it blessed by Pope John Paul II!
      In that short conversation with her I knew I supposed to get one. She probably didn’t know it, but her words changed my life. I believe I was 12 years old then.
      My mom was thorougly surprised when I told her about my decision. She’d given me the speech about it not being another pretty piece of metal (not that I’d owned very many or ever wore the ones I did) and I’d begged and pleaded and browsed the selections until she deemed me mature enough to fully accept the commitment.
      When we finally went to the Christian store I’d been drawn to a certain design from the beginning -a simple sterling silver ring with a heart and key
      http://www.c28.com/products/jewelry-rings-sterling-silver-ladies-heart-ring-key-filigree-161602/?adid=gBase-ProductListingAds&gclid=COiNs8753rICFYQ7MgodtiMAOA
      I proudly payed for it with my own money and waited weeks for my ring to come -calling to check so often that I’m sure they were sick of me!
      When it finally came I was so happy that I told all of my friends about it. Some people couldn’t believe it while others supported my decision.
      Now, at age 17, I can say it was one of the best decisions I’ve made! Some people don’t understand but I’m grateful that God has helped me stay pure for Him and my future husband!
      I’ll be able to go to him on our wedding night and give myself to him entirely!

    10. I got my purity ring last year, but did not tell my mom or dad what it was for or what it meant to me. My parents are not as involved in my religous life, as I would like them to be, when I got my ring and wore it to school people asked and people wondered but most supported me and respect my beliefs.

    11. I bought my first when I was 12 at a Christian bookstore 6 months after being baptized. It was not a fancy expensive one or anything, but it made me happy and I loved getting to talk about God when people would ask what it was. I wore it every day for two years and this past Christmas I got a gorgeous diamond one and I love it. To me, it’s not only a testimony of my love for him and my promise to him, but it also right off the back says “If you won’t respect my promise and commitment, then you’re out of my picture.” I think it’s just a cute and wonderful way to have that promise.

    12. I was ready all by myself, I actually went and bought my own at life way. My parents were surprised, but they were happy that I was able to take on this kind of respoinciblitry on my own the way I did.

    13. I have taken the True Love Can Wait promise, but I don’t have a purity ring. I do have a ring my parents got me for christmas and it sort of represants waiting and a promise to myself to stay in God. it’s not a purity ring, I hope to get one for my sixteenth birthday.

    14. I also want my ring as a promise ring beetween me and god, not just saying that I will remain pure untill marige, but also that I wont leave him, and that I will stick by my faith.

    15. I never had to ask for my purity ring. My mom bought it for me and gave it as a gift when my special friend visited for the first time. That was seven years ago, and I’ve worn it every day since. Mom did the same for my little sister. I never thought about asking for one. However, this article makes a good point. If I hadn’t been given a ring, I would more than likely ask for one after reading this and use this advice.

      For me, my ring is a constant visual reminder of not only my sexual purity, but my relationship with Christ. It reminds me daily thay I am His. And it reminds me to be patient. Someday, He will let the right man step in and replace my purity ring with a wedding band. But until thay day comes, I’m reminded each morning when I put on my purity ring and throughout the day when I fiddle with it on my finger that I’m God’s girl.

      And that makes me happy.

    16. I didn’t have to ask. My parents let me pick one out for my sixteenth birthday. I got it April 26th 2011. It’s a thin silver band that says, “TRUE+LOVE” twice. “TRUE+LOVE+TRUE+LOVE”. I absolutely love it! I wish I could insert a picture! 🙁

    17. I totally recommend you talk to one or both of your parents if you really want a purity ring. I remember my oldest sister mentioning how much things like that (including makeup, ear piercing, and wearing heels) meant to her with Mother, and Mom would approach Dad about it later, so we didn’t feel like we’d had to prod him, and he got more ‘original idea’ brownie points that way…

      My dad didn’t give my oldest sister one until she was 19, but he gave the rest of us girls one at 16. I think that was mainly because, never having been a girl (go figure!) the significance of that sort of thing was often lost on him. I remember getting my older sister really mad once because Daddy took me Easter shoe shopping and bought me a shoe with one inch heels, and she had gone with Mother, who had said that she wasn’t quite old enough to wear heels… things like that!

      It’s not that dads don’t care, sometimes they just don’t have a clue… Mother says it’s a guy thing…

      • Also, he picked my older sisters’ ring out, but let me pick mine out… If you have something particular in mind; a birth stone, a ruby, a heart shape, etc. it’s a good idea to mention that to whoever you talk to about it, I know Daddy felt pretty bad that he had miss-guessed on the type of ring my oldest sister would like… given the colors/types of jewelry she wore the ring wasn’t really her style, but I think he was just trying to tread water on the ‘brownie point scale’ at that time… Her friends had all gotten one at 16, and he hadn’t realized how that had made her feel, because (once again) he’s never been a teenage girl before… 🙂

    18. I got my purity ring this year, at fourteen. It was after my birthday. In September I decided I want one, as I was just beginning high school and thought that soon temptations would be thrown my way. I absolutely love it. I do suggest going to one parent over the other if you find it easier to talk to them.

    Project Inspired

    We here at Project Inspired want to guide and inspire teen girls to be true to themselves and to God. We want to show young girls how to be people of value and confidence – how to be your own best selves – through leading a Christian life. Who are we? We're a team of girls, like you. We edit the site, we post to social media, we hang out in the chat rooms and forums. We talk with you, we listen to you, and we love you!

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