Q&A: Is It Okay To Date an Unbeliever?
Written by Aysha Ives | December 27, 2011
I like a boy who isn’t a Christian. Is it okay to date him?
Living the Christian lifestyle is such an amazing experience! God loves us so much that He does everything He can to protect us. He even left us a guide, the Holy Bible, so that we can live this life more successfully. Since we know that God’s Word should be the ultimate authority in our lives, let’s consider what the Bible says about our interactions with nonbelievers.
It’s the responsibility of all believers to spread the Gospel, which means that we must spend adequate time with nonbelievers. Jesus dined with sinners and spent time with people that most of society rejected because He knew this was the only way to reach the lost. It’s also our responsibility to make sure that others hear the good news about our Savior.
However, God also warns His children not to bond themselves to nonbelievers. The Bible says this:
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God (2 Corinthians 6:14-16).
It’s very important to God that we remain focused on Him; therefore, He warns us about having close relationships with people who don’t share the same love for Him.
If you do decide to date an unbeliever, it’s likely that one of two things will happen:
- The two of you may grow apart because of your different beliefs. After all, light and darkness can’t occupy the same space. What happens when you turn on the light in a dark room? The darkness goes away. Similarly, what happens when you turn off the light in a room that is already lit? It becomes dark. It might be helpful to spare yourself the frustration and heartbreak of dating someone who doesn’t share your light for Jesus.
- You may become distracted. The enemy is deceitful and he will use anyone or anything to try to distance you from God. This includes your family, friends, and even your boyfriend. God knows that people sometimes make poor decisions because “the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak” (Matthew 26:41). God tries to help us limit such distractions when He tells us to form close relationships with others who are focused on living for Him. This was so important to Jesus that He only sent His disciples out in pairs, so that when one was weak the other was there to strengthen him.
I know this may be tough to hear, but it’s probably best to avoid dating boys who aren’t walking in faith with God. PLEASE don’t go into the relationship thinking that you can change him because YOU CAN’T–only The Holy Spirit can do that. You CAN witness to him and pray that he’ll one day receive God into his heart, but consider the potential grief that you’d experience if you decided to date someone who isn’t yet in love with God.
Written by Aysha Ives