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    Q&A – People Think That I’m Different. What Should I Do?

    Question:

    I need help with something. It’s important to me to be knowledgeable, so I spend a lot of time studying.  My friends think I’m too smart and they also say that I act too mature at parties. I don’t have any real friends this year and most of my classmates think that I’m weird, especially since I am a vegan and bring only salads to school. The kids in my school are really sports-oriented and sometimes they put sports before God. In fact, at church they recently announced an AWESOME guest speaker and someone said “Oh, I can’t go. I have a football game.” I don’t fit in at all and I need help!

    Answer:

    Thank you so much for writing in. Let me first say that I’m so proud of you for being a leader for God! It’s tough when you feel like you don’t really fit in with your peers. However, despite it all, you still choose to do what’s right. God is proud of you and so am I!

    Unfortunately, there will always be people who are going to choose football, parties, and other things over God. Even adults do this sometimes. As God’s children, all we can do is pray for them and encourage them — it’s up to God to do the rest. Consider this:

    Who is Apollos? Who is Paul? They are servants who helped you come to faith. Each did what the Lord gave him to do. I planted, and Apollos watered, but God made it grow. So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is important because only God makes it grow. The one who plants and the one who waters have the same goal, and each will receive a reward for his own work (1 Corinthians 3:5-8).

    Continue to encourage your peers and eventually they’ll see your shining light!

    Also, consider this:

    God gives each of us talents that we’re supposed to use to further His Kingdom on Earth. So it’s not a coincidence that you’re so smart! God made you that way to better equip you for your earthly assignment. Pray to God and ask Him how to use your talents to help your peers.

    • Maybe you could offer tutoring services to help other students who are struggling in some academic areas.
    • Perhaps you could educate your peers about the benefits of healthy eating.

    Those were just two things that came to mind as I was reading your letter, but ask God for discernment about how you can help. Don’t let your age deter you! Remember David? He was young when God used him mightily to defeat Goliath. God can use anyone who has a willing heart.

    Also, please don’t be discouraged because your friends think that you’re “weird.” Even as an adult, I struggle with this same issue at times. People think I’m “weird” or “unrealistic” when I start talking about faith, healing, and other Godly things. What I’ve learned to do is select my friends wisely. If someone doesn’t appreciate me, I choose to love them from afar and move on.

    However, I do understand that friendships are important, so here are some tips to help you meet other likeminded teens:

    • Consider joining local organizations like a Christian teen group or something similar. This could be helpful even if it’s in a neighboring town. If that’s not an option, then maybe you could start your own!
    • Volunteer. That’s a great way to meet other people who have similar interests!
    • Try enrolling in a class that interests you. Chances are, the other enrollees will have similar interests.
    • Go to the events that you enjoy, even if it’s by yourself. Going to see the speaker that you mentioned would be terrific! Those who do show up might share your interests. Who knows, you could end up making a really good friend or two out of it!
    • Pray. Ask God to send people your way who have common interests. God knows that we enjoy friendships with other people and He will open doors in that area.

    Girls, do you have any additional feedback for her? I’m sure that she would appreciate your support.

    Written by Aysha Ives

    Aysha Ives
    Aysha Ives loves God with her whole heart and has a desire to help hurting people. With a Masters Degree in Psychology, she combines her education and experience with her love for God to help people live whole and fulfilled lives. Aysha is an Author, Mental Health Provider, Youth Church Teacher, and the mother of one gifted little boy whom she absolutely adores. Aysha is honored to be able to share her love of God with Project Inspired readers. Aysha is also the author of God Cares About Your Stuff: How To Believe For Tomorrow When Things Look Utterly, Completely, And Totally Impossible Today, released February 2013- Available at Amazon.

    34 COMMENTS

    1. Try to make Christian friends that share the fact that you want a real relationship with God and not just a place to go every Sunday or whenever they go to church but forget it all later. I’m trying to make more Christain friends too so girll your not alone 🙂

    2. I have a similar problem, and some people think I’m weird and they don’t invite me to their parties sometimes but I’m OK with that, I count it as almost a sign of respect. They respect me enough to know my boundaries and I really appreciate that. But remember that it is SO OK to be different. I am blessed and highly favored and God is using Me for his will?! We may not be perfect but God is still using Us. he has a purpose and a plan for everyone but maybe God needs us to be different so that we can witness to his people. This may not be all that God has for any of us but it seems to be part of his plan for us:). Also, try to see if your school has a christian club and if it does, then join! A few friends and I started one at our school and we talk about things like this, It is really comforting to know that it’s not only you in your school who is feeling this way! God Bless!

    3. Don’t worry about it, I am the same way. There are a few people at my school who, like me, are very involved in our youth group. People don’t understand the importance of Christ. But I missed our state speech meet (I wasn’t participating, but I had the option to go down and watch my best friends compete) to participate in missions projects at church. I skip hanging out with friends to stay at home and pray and read my Bible. Please don’t worry about it too much, because I know my friends from church are the same way. Involve yourself with good Christian friends and don’t worry about what people think about you. Jesus loves you no matter what!

    4. Its ok… chill… Every one calls me wierd… zen… and a lot of other things that I cannot say because they are not very christian. Just relax… float down stream. Our Mother and Father both will care for you. When I say mother I am not saying mother earth.. but mother as in the earth God gave us that grows food… and supplies oxygen. When has she ever let you down? *sorry thats why people call me zen* Don’t let their words hurt you. People don’t get it. They don’t see our amazing thoughts… or feel our feelings… no matter how hard you try. Just chill. Remember that a good comeback can’t hurt… but a horrible prayer is better. When I say horrible I mean something like “God, Please make this person go away forever and never be mean again!!!” Because just praying will bring you peace… God will give you the answer!

    5. I know what you mean, i’m so different from the ppl at school and i don’t know if i like it, but i know who i represent and so i cannot comprimise. i hold on to the truth that my reward is in heaven and that the sufferings of this world can not be compared to the glory that will be revealed to us. These verses get me through tough times when i feel like an outcast.

    6. I don’t know how many public schools have this, but my school has a class called Christian Learning Center ( it’s off campus) and it’s a great class to sign up for, if you have it, because everyone shares similar values! 🙂

    7. I’m so sorry girl, I know how you feel! 🙁 I feel like the entire American culture outcasts people like us, but we aren’t supposed to try to change to fit in. We need to stand out, and teach by example about our Christian lifestyle! 🙂 I also respect you so much for being a vegan, I’m a lacto-ovo vegetarian, and I’ve wanted to go vegan for a while now, but I haven’t been able to. Praying for you! 🙂

    8. I am in that exact same situation now(except the whole vegan thing, I think it’s pretty cool though). I want you to know that your not alone. I’m not exactly sure what to do either though. I’ve joined a youth group at my church, but it doesn’t exactly help me out when people think I’m a misfit there too. I feel as if people come to my youth group just to party, they don’t respect authority, they never stop talking when our leaders are trying to teach, they gossip, I feel I am the only mature one…

    9. Remember high school is not forever. You’ll be spending another four years at a college, which since you choose where you applied, you will most likely fit in better.

      Just because people chose a football game over church doesn’t mean they don’t love God. Sheesh. I don’t go to youth group. Does that make me a bad Christian? 😛 That should really be up to God to decide.

      If you’re not an athletic person, then try another area. Do you like music? Clubs? Volunteering? Go and find people that can relate to you better 🙂

    10. I also have the same problem. People often don’t like me for that reason, so we never move past “acquaintances”. But if you stay true to yourself, the right friends will come along. I just stayed faithful to God and stayed different. And God blessed me with A LOT of Godly friends. 🙂

    11. This post touched me a lot. I’m actually also going through this, and it’s been a really tough year for me so far. To “fit in” and “be cool” at our school, the kids disrespect teachers, shrug off academics nonchalantly, and gossip about those who are different. I’m so tired of this system. I don’t care how cool it is; I know I’m beautiful, intelligent, and amazing the way I am – being a nerd (I love learning<3), being true to myself, and having much more fun than the rest of the kids who try fitting in. There's this sense of freedom and happiness that comes with breaking free. So psshhh, they can shake their heads at me or say whatever they want – God made me just the way he wanted to! Plus, what's so fun about being one of the crowd? I love being original<3

    12. I have people and family that think I am a complete freak! Iy is hard for me. I struggle with not fitting in. I have chosen to be pure until I am married so therefore, there are some of my family and friends that think I am the freakist person alive!!!!! I cry sometimes, it is soooooooooo hard to be different and stay pure while my other friends are dating and kissing guys. I refuse to kiss or touch any guy until I am married.

    13. I think it’s awesome that you stand out above your peers as being “smart” and “mature”. Your friends might not have meant to compliment you, but they did! You are setting a really good example to your peers! Adults will notice your maturity as well, which is a really good thing! As Christians, we are called to be different from everyone else. Romans 12:2 says “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Deep down, a lot of your peers really do respect you for your integrity, even though they might not say it to your face. Even the choice to be a vegan shows your Godly spirit because you want to take good care of your body! So keep shining your light :)It’s totally worth it to be different, and I promise that in the end you will have more fun than the kids that put parties, sports, and other things before God. I will definitely be praying for God to send you friends that will build you up!

    14. I feel it every time I walk into the school, or, even, into youth group. I am an outsider, even though I have lived in my hometown all my life. The only place where I really feel I belong, is my soccer team, but God has shown me that soccer is not in his plan for me. I have come to accept that, though i still miss it. Maybe he is trying to show me that I was putting soccer above him in my life. I don’t quite know.

    15. I know what you mean! But you gotta stay true to urself! Be who u are and don’t try to change it! But evry once in a while you could put down the textbooks and ask a friend to come over! And if they don’t except who you are, they need to deal with it! And try looking for friends outside of school! Maybe join a club! And tell them that they shud try to put God first!

    16. so people are created by god to have certain traits? how do you explain criminals, bullys, and just bad people over all? how do you explain these people who chose football over the guest speaker at the asker’s church? hmm?

    17. A lot of people call me weird. Sometimes my friends even do. I sometimes get mad at them, but I think that I am used to it more now. Sometimes it seems like one of my best friends is embarrassed or something to be seen with me because I’m acting weird. I don’t like when she does that. I just don’t know how to handle it.

    18. a lot of ppl might say im a nerd but i dont see myself with that title i wear glasses and i care about my grades…does that meant im a nerd? i dont think so. i want 2 go 2 a good college and be a nurse and college competitions are really hard right now…i am proud 2 be different but not to that point that i am hurting inside…=(

      • You are only a nerd if you let people make you believe you are one. “Nerd” is just a label, so are “cool”,”weird” , and “outcast.” Labels never stay. The only label that will never leave you is “christian.” You will always be loved by God. He doesn’t think of you as a nerd. Don’t focus on what other people have labeled you, because they don’t know what they see. God’s label for you is the only one you should be paying attention to.

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