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    Q&A: Will God Punish Me for Being Boy Crazy?

    Question:

    Will God punish me for being boy crazy?

    Answer:

    The short answer to this is “No.” God created us to be attracted to one another, and often we actually are attracted to the attributes of God in that person (even if that person isn’t a Christian).

    When you see an attractive guy, your heart is attracted to beauty. God created us to be attracted to beauty because God himself is beautiful. Have you ever been attracted to a guy who is really kind? Your heart is attracted to kindness because God is kind.

    God knows that you will be attracted to boys–He created you that way. But God wants you to be crazy for Him. He loves us exactly the way we are and He can’t love us any more than He already does. What boy can compare with that?

    That doesn’t change the fact that we still struggle with lust daily. I personally have battled an addiction to pornography since I was 16 years old. If you have never come into contact with any sort of pornographic material, do not start, not even out of curiosity. It is a downward spiral that is hard to reverse.

    If you have encountered pornographic material, I want to give you an amazing resource: Dirty Girls Ministries. Dirty Girls Ministries is run by Crystal Renaud, a recovering pornography addict. It’s a place where women and girls of all ages can seek help and advice for lust issues and sexual addictions.

    Lust is one of the most difficult issues to deal with, but the Bible has some advice:

    • If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to be thrown into hell (Matthew 5:29).

    Let me be clear: I am not saying that you need to tear out your eye and I don’t think that is literally what Jesus meant, either. The idea is to take precautions and keep away from the things that tempt you to sin. If you struggle with looking at pornography on the Internet, don’t use the computer unsupervised. There is always an alternative to the behavior that is contributing to lust.

    • Flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart (2 Timothy 2:22).

    The key words in this verse are flee and along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. Whatever intensifies the struggle with lust in your life, run from it! If most of your friends are non-Christians, then I suggest developing friendships with more Christians. They will share your burdens and support you in your struggles.

    • Therefore confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed (James 5:16).

    I love James–he’s so practical! This verse is about accountability. You don’t need to tell everyone about your struggle, but you do need to tell someone. Find a Christian that you trust completely and tell him or her that you are struggling with lust. Be specific when you share. Ask him or her to pray for you and to help keep you accountable so that you have someone to answer to when the desire creeps up.

    Don’t feel ashamed. Nearly everyone struggles with lust–I promise you aren’t the only one. If you struggle with lust, tell someone and get help. You don’t have to feel alone.

    Do you have an accountability person?

    No one, when tempted, should say, “I am being tempted by God;” for God cannot be tempted by evil and He himself tempts no one (James 1:13)

    Written by Jenn Arman

    Do you feel like you're boy crazy?

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    Jenn Arman
    Jenn Arman is a youth pastor, freelance writer and blogger. She was born in San Diego, California and raised 2 hours north east in the Inland Empire where she lives with her husband David and their cats. Jenn desires to bring glory to God and a healthy dose of reality to Christians through both writing and preaching. Visit jenniferarman.com for more on her work. You can also connect with her on www.facebook.com/JenniferArman.Writer and https://twitter.com/JennArman

    41 COMMENTS

    1. Wow…This is an awesome article! I actually just got finished praying to God telling Him that I was putting on this bracelet (because I don’t have a purity ring) to symbolize that I was going to obey Him and trust Him to overcome a temptation I’ve been having. I’ve “repented” of it over and over…but the addiction was too great. I told God that this bracelet would also get in the way of me trying to fulfill me falling into temptation since it’s on my hand. So, I said “Amen” and refreshed my Facebook page and the first status listed was Project Inspired advertising this article!!! Thank you so much! And, thank you Jenn for coming out and admitting your struggle, because we all share struggles like that with lust too. I’ll be praying for you too! God is amazing!

    2. I was addicted to it last year when I got my first laptop. I told Jesus in a prayer “Please get rid of this for me, it is causing me to sin” A few weeks later, I come home and the screen broke! It’s amazing what He can do for our well being. Now I have a computer alone, in my room. Temptation comes but I always always, ALWAYS turn it down. 😉

      • Cute! Redneck Romeo! I was looking for the Romeo who meets all my standards, and I found him: Jesus! Pretty much NO guy in existance can meet my standards! Keep looking, and God bless you!

        • sisterwhocares, you’re absolutely right, Jesus is the only one who will go above and beyond all our standards

    3. There is nothing wrong with liking boys- it’s just an infatuation at this age. Yes, if you have a sexual thought throw it away. But it’s worse if you actually want to ‘do something’ with a boy. I think a little innocent kiss is okay. But that’s just me. I don’t think God would mind if I gave my boyfriend (if I had one:P) a little innocent kiss on the cheek or lips.

    4. I also have a question. Is this wrong?- My guy friend (whose a year younger than me) was just sitting on my lap and we were talking quietly backstage (because we had drama club). I felt a little happy about that and I didn’t want the moment to end. We didn’t kiss or anything. Is that cuddling? Is that considered lust? Please reply 🙂

      • Lust is defined as a strong sexual desire or a passion for something, in this case it would be a passion for a some type of sexual encounter.

        If you have a crush on this guy friend, then I would probably consider what you were doing as cuddling. I wouldn’t consider it lust unless you were sexually tempted by it. If you were sexually tempted by it, then I would suggest avoiding contact like that; there’s no need to place ourselves in tempting circumstances if we can avoid them. I hope that answers your questions 🙂

    5. I have been attracted to boys quite a few times, but I’m more interested in finding a real man, not a boy who thinks he’s a man. Still, this article applies and is very helpful in discerning the difference between attraction and lust. Thanks.

      • Oh, and I’ve had quite a few obsessive crushes, even one recently (usually not with people I’ve ever met, and most of them were fictional characters!), but I try not to let it distract me too much, and if that person–an actor for instance–happens to be married, I try not to be attracted to them directly, but to their likeness, that I would want a person like that–because I don’t like falling into jealousy, it’s not a good feeling, and it’s a sin (I’m a sucker for romance! Can you tell?).

        • I didn’t used to feel so much sexual passion and desire for a boyfriend before I started reading older books that have characters kissing- and it was a Christmas Love Stories book! I always founhd myself skipping ahead to the parts where they kiss because I would feel all tingly inside- soemthing tells me I’m just craving the feeling of kissing a guy, not the relationship with a boyfriend. I searched through my bookshelf for all the self-help dating/ boyfriend books and all I want to read is romance novels. I don’t think I want to evoke this passion so much if I am not in a steady relationship- why tempt myself?……???

        • omg I am not alone! I have a fictional character crush too! It used to distract me a lot, but I am growing! whew i am not alone

    6. thankyou soo much for sharing your testimony about porn addiction. i used to be addicted to porn as well, and ever since i became a christian, that has been the only shame that i have kept hidden. your openness has really really encouraged me to be the same.

    7. I actually thought/felt like i was “the only one” who looks at these stuff, especially that i’m a girl. I guess i had no idea that even girls can be addicted to pornography but i am glad you admitted it because now i can totally empathize with you.

      I too was shortly addicted to pornography, but then i started praying that He may get me out of it, and He did! Now, i don’t have that urge to look at pornography. There are few times when i was tempted ( but that’s kind of my fault for putting myself in positions that i could be tempted) but immediately i put the lust out of the way and think of God first.

      As for being boy crazy, heh heh, well yes, i’m the type of girl who gets so boy crazy! But lust isn’t the issue this time, it’s more of like thinking about that guy more than God. It takes a long time for me to finally figure out that I should be spending more time with God than daydreaming about a boy I like.

    8. I myself have struggled with sexual sin, it the hardest addiction to get rid of and very embarrassing to talk about. Even now I am still struggling, but I am slowly but surely stopping. But I do wonder how this will affect my future, if I ever meet someone special and fall in love, do I tell him? Many Christian guys may not want a girl who has had trouble with sexual addiction as well as other problems…

      • I know exactly what you are talking about because I strugle with the same thing. I have had the same thought on whether I should tell my future husband. A thought came to me later what if he had the same strugles. I would want to know because I would want to show him that we could overcome this trial.

        • I also had the same problem and i was ashamed to tell anyone but I told my friend who I want to go out with about it and he told me that he struggled with the same thing before he became Christian and that it didnt change how he looks at me. He is helping me change I official accepted Jesus Christ into my life yesterday and i know that that is all in the past. I think it is good to tell your future husband because it will show him how much trust you have in him and if he is who God has for you then he will accept it and not think anything about it.

    9. I feel comfortable reading this article. Even though I am not boy crazy per se, I often struggle with sexual lusts, mostly in my mind; I’m like the biggest prude in the world too! It makes me so happy that there are other Christian girls like me struggling with sexual desires. I hope I get to meet and ecourage one someday.

    10. Heh heh… What’s lust? I am NOT good at vocabulary. Anyway, if a guy asks you out, and you already are dating someone, what should you do? Like, if the guy who asked you out was your second choice to the dance? How should you say no? Or should you break up with your current boyfriend to date him? I have way more questions and not enough space.

    11. Whats lust? Also, if a guy asks you out,but you are already dating someone, and the someone you are dating is an unbeliever, what should you do? And the guy who asked you out is a believer? Should you dump the guy you ar ecurrently dating and say yes to the Believer Boy? Or should you say no? Why do we have to date, and not marry? Why do girls think they have to look pretty to get a boy? Whats so attractive about sex? How do birds fly?

    Project Inspired

    We here at Project Inspired want to guide and inspire teen girls to be true to themselves and to God. We want to show young girls how to be people of value and confidence – how to be your own best selves – through leading a Christian life. Who are we? We're a team of girls, like you. We edit the site, we post to social media, we hang out in the chat rooms and forums. We talk with you, we listen to you, and we love you!

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