Rebecca St. James’ New Book: “What Is He Thinking?”

    Rebecca St. James is a popular Christian singer and author. On September 26,  she released her latest book, “What is He Thinking: What Guys Want us to Know About Dating, Love and Marriage.”

    In the book, she covers Christian dating through interviews with males from all different age groups. St. James asked questions via social networking to uncover information on dating, courting and marriage.

    The book covers various topics from first impressions to flirting, body image…to spiritually connecting, physically connecting, and marriage. It tackles relationships from a spiritual side, gives examples of things you really shouldn’t do while sharing opinions on practices you should pursue, warnings of spiritual activities leading to the guy and girl getting too attached to each other, and good input on how crucial it is to have some kind of spirituality rooted in your lives together in order to have a healthy, godly relationship (

    St. James gives godly wisdom and council, uses scriptures, and discusses modesty, purity and general advice for younger women. Many of the men in the book are godly men and give encouragement and words of wisdom.

    Don’t settle. You are a priceless gift. In Genesis, when God formed woman from man, the Hebrew word used for ‘made’ means ‘to form into a priceless object.’ Nothing else in the Garden of Eden could fill the void that Adam had. Too many women today settle for men who do not truly value and cherish them. If you settle, you are enabling men to not be who God has called them to be. Trust that God will bring to you what you need.

    St. James includes scriptures at the beginning of each chapter. In the first chapter, she addresses “First Impressions” and shares her fears and doubts, including dating stories.

    Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is great worth in God’s sight (1Peter 3:3-4).

    In the section, “Beauty is SKIN-not SKINNY-Deep,” St. James asks men about true beauty.

    Beauty is a big concept; it doesn’t just deal with physical characteristics. It also gives us a glimpse into our souls and who we are (Andrew).

    I like natural-looking girls (Brendon).

    Don’t go for the skinny-minny vibe. It is not attractive to guys! A risk-taking spirit is attractive to me (Julian).

    Guys don’t say ‘I want the skinniest girl possible.’ Girls can be pretty and not obsessively skinny. Actually, many times it is not a positive thing for guys to see a girl who is very skinny. An engaging personality is way more important! (Robbie).

    No matter your shape and size, you are BEAUTIFUL because God handmade you! You are a precious treasure! Don’t settle while waiting on the Lord! Remember, build a friendship first and pray about who are you around.

    He who walks the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm (Proverbs 13:20).

    Christi Given
    Christi Given
    Christi Given is a former Trinity Broadcasting Network host for the JUCE TV NETWORK, and has been featured on the Hillsong Channel. Her passion is to reach the youth with the Gospel and her music. Given has been writing for Project Inspired since 2011, and hopes to encourage the younger generation in their faith.


      • I completely agree with you on this. I am super skinny, underweight in fact, but I do not choose to be this way. I’ve tried gaining weight, but I just can’t for some reason. It makes me sad to read that guys don’t like skinny, or “fake” girls, because those two traits don’t always go together…

      • I don’t think they were really talking about naturally skinny girls. Most guys don’t like girls who call themselves fat, when they’re obviously not. 🙂 I think they were mostly talking about girls who obsess over weight

      • Don’t feel sad! I think it’s just saying not to worry about making yourself skinny. You are beautiful the way you are, skinny or not, because you are God’s creation. It’s just a big pressure for a lot of girls who aren’t naturally skinny to think that they should be, but in reality all body types are different, so be happy with the body God gave you! 🙂

    1. Why is it that every Christian book about self-image I read tends to pretty much insult those of us who are skinny? When I read Lies Young Women Believe they pretty much called people who are underweight skeleton-like. These books seriously don’t help my self esteem at all, they diminish it. I actually started eating as much as I could just to try to gain weight, and when I couldn’t I started crying.

      I’m severely underweight (I weigh 75 pounds at 16 years old, although my doctor thinks it’s normal because my parents are skinny), it’s not my fault, I was just born that way. It hurts my feelings when books talk about skinny people in such a way. I know they are trying to make people feel better about themselves, but people should take in to consideration that there may be “obsessively” skinny people reading these books.

      • there is a difference outwardly between naturally skinny and people who try to make themselves that way. The guy who God has for you will love you the way you are and not care. When you are anorexic or trying to be skinny, you are generally more skeleton-like than naturally skinny girls, no matter how skinny you are. If you are eating right, then you should have a healthier look than other girls, and you shouldnt look emaciated.

        • Thanks for the really kind reply, and I understand what your saying. But this book doesn’t even distinguish between those who are naturally skinny and those who are skinny due to eating disorders, which is the problem. They just go on to say skinny-minnys aren’t attractive to guys.

          I just always hear about skinny girls being made fun of, either in public or online, which has really caused self esteem issues for me. Plus just last week two people were staring right at me and laughing, and they didn’t stop until I glanced over at them.

          So yeah, I guess I may be making a big deal out of this due to what’s happened to me personally. Sorry!

      • I think that they’re just talking about the girls who CHOOSE to be underweight, and aren’t healthy. It would be so much better if those books didn’t say “you shouldn’t be skinny”. It’d be so much better if they say that you should be healthy.

    2. I think this will be an awesome book! I’m naturally skinny, but not obsessively skinny like girls with eating disorders. I hope everyone who has an eating disorder will read this book, and realize that the outside isn’t everything.

    3. this book sounds great!!! i like how she interviewed some men so we understand what they are really thinking about. not just, i have to find the girl thats as skinny as possible and put as much make-up on as possible. its whats inside!!♥

    4. I was reading the this and the comments and came by an ad on how to get skinner… is it just me or is that kind of ironic? I agree with MaryK8 on this, I think they’re talking more about the girls who obsess over weight and call themselves fat.

    5. This makes me sad too. I have a 24″-25″ waist and everyone is constantly telling me to eat more because clothing (size XS or small) is really baggy on me. It’s driving me nut-so! I’m naturally slim I guess. I don’t diet really. I just eat uber healthy.

    6. Girls, natural skinny is justas beautiful as natural curvy.Look how naturally thin Taylor Swift and Angelina Jolie are, and they get guys like Brad Pitt and Taylor Lautner and Jake Gyllenhall! A good guy won’t judge on your natural weight.

    7. I see girls on hip hop videos talking about how they like girls with big butts and giant breast with beautiful curves and I have none of that….

      Men are so unfair. All they care about are looks. Why can’t they accept you for you?

    8. In reality it shouldn’t matter if you are skinny or not. if you’re naturally skinny that doesn’t make you any less beautiful than the next girl!
      Really I think this is referring to girls who make themselves skinny or just society’s expectations
      on girls in general.
      God makes us who we are so you should love yourself regardless of what others say.
      and at any rate your future husband will love you whether you’re tall short skinny chubby or whatever 🙂

    9. I am VERY skinny because of a health problem where i cant gain weight. People make fun of me all the time and probably think that i have an eating disorder because i look like a skeleton. It makes me really sad and upset but i just have to keep reminding myself that none of it is true and God will send the right guy along who will love me for me and not by how i look. This book sounds great and i really want to read it. Thanks for the article 🙂

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