Today I had a young man message me on Facebook and ask me for advice.
His question was: “What are girls who are devoted to God’s call on their life looking for in a man?”
Naturally, I started to write out a list of requirements such as “passionate,” “honest,” “sincere,” etc., but the more I started to write, the more I doubted myself.
I mean, how on Earth is it humanly possible for me to speak for the Godly female population?
Not all Godly girls want a man who desires to be a preacher, and to be a pastor’s wife. Not all Godly girls want an introverted poet who can lead worship like an angel. Not all Godly girls want to marry a missionary and travel the world.
So what do all Godly girls want?
(Because let’s be real—we really don’t know what we want most of the time, and that’s the truth. We might think we know exactly what we want, but then someone shows up and completely confuses us and throws off our “logic.”)
So here it is. The answer you have all been waiting for…
GODLY GIRLS WANT JESUS.
We don’t care about anything or anyone more than Jesus.
We love Jesus.
We want to serve Jesus all of our life.
And if Jesus tells us to be single forever, we will do it.
So know that there is nothing you can do to take His place.
However, if we believe you are a man who will make us more effective in living out God’s personal calling in our life, we will be drawn to you.
If we believe you will speak Jesus’ words to us, we will be drawn to you.
If we believe you will point us to Jesus when we are confused or heartbroken or in sin, we will be drawn to you.
Does that mean we will want to marry you? Not necessarily. And that’s okay!
Just know if it is God’s will for you to marry a girl, God WILL lead you to a marriage that will make you more holy and therefore more happy. You might have to live life with a few Godly girls before you meet the one you will marry, but that’s good!
Investing in relationships in healthy ways with people who inspire you to be more like Jesus can only make you more holy. Is this not what we Godly people want? If it isn’t, shouldn’t it be?
Stop caring so much about being “a better spiritual leader” or a better “speaker” or a better “gentleman” or “more sincere.”
It’s not about being the coolest or most attractive.
The pressure is off of you! Because it’s not about you! It’s about Jesus.
Quit trying to be the perfect boyfriend. Quit trying to be her god.
Throw away the lists and JUST ABIDE.
Because when you run after Jesus, all those things will come naturally to you.
Heck, it’s not even about getting a girlfriend in the first place!
You are focusing on the fruit and not the vine!
If you abide in Him, you will bear much fruit. Apart from Him, you can do nothing and you are worth nothing. (John 15:5)
This goes for everyone.
Notice that in Galatians 5, it says the fruit of the spirit IS love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. It is a package deal. They are not separate entities.
Abide in Jesus with everything you have and you will start to look more like Him. 🙂
A Godly girl will be doing the same thing.
We tend to complicate this so much.
ALL A GODLY GIRL WANTS IS ONE THING MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE:
MORE OF JESUS.
So there’s the answer you’ve been waiting for.
This is all you need to know. This is all you need to strive to be like. Jesus. Simply Jesus.
Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full. (John 15:4-11)