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    The 10 Christian Girl Codes

    Ah, fall. It’s a magical time full of falling leaves, apple cider and fall sports. While most of your guy friends are delving into some serious male bonding time over throwing ye ol’ pigskin or are glued to their phones managing a failing Fantasy Football team with Peyton Manning as their QB, you’re finding yourself in the midst of alarming amounts of girl time.

    Don’t get me wrong—lots of time with girlfriends can be awesome. But get the wrong mix of unaligned hormones, a sugar binge and not enough sleep from too many sleepovers, and someone’s feelings are bound to get hurt.

    How do you navigate this treacherous pile of relational sludge?

    I give you…

    (Cue the dramatic music)

    The Christian Girl Codes!

    (Generous amounts of applause)

    Number 1: Thou shalt not talk about friends behind their backs. Jenny did what to Susan?! I don’t know, and honestly I don’t care. Jenny and Susan should just talk it out. Just “Matthew 18:15” that business and get your own “Jenny” and “Susan” to talk to each other, not to you.

    Number 2: If a friend shared a secret with you, keep it. Your friend shared her crush with you and she said don’t tell anyone? Then don’t tell anyone. Not even if the CIA comes to your house and demands to know who your friend’s crush is. You’re getting nothing out of me, CIA!

    Number 3: The title of “Wingwoman” is not to be taken lightly. You know your “homegirl” has a crush on that “babe” in your Bible study? You wingwoman the heck out of that. You talk to his friend, you drop him your friend’s number, you run covert ops around his general whereabouts post-Bible study so you guys can “casually” run into each other, and then a group thing quickly turns into a one-on-one deal between your pal and her soon-to-be boyfriend.

    Number 4: When a friend’s relationship ends, all previous activities take a back seat. Early in the morning, middle of the night, whatever. Your friend needs you, tissues, ice cream and an epic movie binge session that includes Pride and Prejudice.

    Number 5: Don’t hate on the success of your friend. Your friend aced an exam and you didn’t? Your friend was promoted and you weren’t? Don’t stress. Your friendship is more important than earthly things, lady. Your relationship comes first. Be happy for her and don’t stress!

    Number 6: Don’t intentionally copy your friend’s outfit without receiving express permission to copy said outfit. Just don’t. Finding a cute outfit is hard enough without having to make sure you don’t have a “who wore it best” situation at church.

    Number 7: Don’t date each other’s boyfriends. Let’s talk about MESSY…just a better idea not to. Unless, of course, enough time has passed, but even then, things must be cleared with your friend first. No ifs, ands or buts.

    Number 8: Don’t hang out one-on-one with your friend’s boyfriend. It’s just a bad idea and leads to weird situations. Enough said.

    Number 9: Forgive, forgive and forgive—but also be quick to apologize. You’re friends. Likely you’ve been that way for a while. At some point, one of you is going to say something stupid (if you’re like me, this is a daily thing). Be quick to say you’re sorry—your pride isn’t worth ruining a friendship.

    Number 10: Put God at the center of your friendships. No one loves you more than God, not even your best friends. Trust in God to give you what you need and surround yourself with friends who continually point you to him. You’ll be amazed at how many things get smoothed out when Jesus is at the center.

    Peace, friends!

    Claire Wyatt
    I'm overly obsessed with shoes, dystopian novels and I write a blog called Single Christian Girls.

    8 COMMENTS

    1. Great points! #5 happened to me recently. I was promoted at work to a job tittle I know my best friend also wanted……while I know she’s happy for me and supports me I hope this won’t make it awkward at work now…

    2. Good list, but there should be a caveat for #2: Always keep the secrets unless the secret could cause physical harm to your friend or someone else. For instance, if the friend admits to self-harm or thoughts of suicide. You should definitely tell someone; just make sure you tell your friend you are telling someone first.

      Also, for #8: what if your friend’s bf is a relative of yours? what if you and her now bf were strong platonic friends before either of you met her? What if you and he are planning a surprise party for her? Basically, use your common sense. If you weren’t friends with the guy beforehand, there is absolutely no need for you to hang out one-on-one. But if you were friends, both you and he should be open and honest with her about the status of your friendship. If she is cool with you guys hanging alone: great! (Just always be sure both you and the bf let her know each time you do, to keep you both accountable. Also, use your judgement: if you start to feel weird, develop a crush, etc., stop doing it). If she’s not okay with it, respect her wishes and don’t do it. End of story.

      Open and Honest communication is the key to a healthy relationship of any kind.

    Project Inspired

    We here at Project Inspired want to guide and inspire teen girls to be true to themselves and to God. We want to show young girls how to be people of value and confidence – how to be your own best selves – through leading a Christian life. Who are we? We're a team of girls, like you. We edit the site, we post to social media, we hang out in the chat rooms and forums. We talk with you, we listen to you, and we love you!

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