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Inspiration

The Christian Girl’s Guide to Finding the “Right” Guy

We had the opportunity to read through Nicole Weider’s brand-new book, Project Inspired: Tips and Tricks for Staying True to Who You Are. And we absolutely loved it. It’s a great read and it serves as a guide for Christian girls who want to stay true to their spiritual beliefs and core values. Although the book won’t be out until later this year, we wanted to share a few things that we learned after reading it. Hopefully these tidbits will hold you over until the book officially comes out.

So over the next few weeks, we’ll be releasing a series of articles that will collectively be known as “The Christian Girl’s Guide.” This week, we’re kicking things off with “The Christian Girl’s Guide to Finding the ‘Right’ Guy”!

Nicole’s Tip: Learn to be happy alone. If you’re not happy alone, it’s impossible to be happy in a relationship. If you think that it’s lonely being without a boyfriend, that feeling is only multiplied if you find yourself lonely in a bad marriage and stuck—either because you have children with him or you’re against divorce at all costs.

Before you begin to look for the right guy, it’s important to first focus on yourself. So many girls enter into relationships simply because they do not want to be alone. That’s no reason to bring a guy into your life. Yes, it may feel good at first, but it’s only temporary. Eventually, those feelings of loneliness will reemerge and you’ll start to bring problems into your relationship. So step 1 is to make sure that you are completely happy with just being around yourself.

Once you’ve prepared yourself, it’s important to find the right guy for you! Now, everybody’s “right” guy will have different characteristics. However, there are certain core traits that you should look for in every man that you date. Here are just a few from Nicole:

  • He is compassionate. Not only to you, but also to his own parents and strangers he meets. (Just remember, no one is perfect, not even your dream guy.) If he makes a mistake, is he willing to admit it? That’s a good sign.
  • He’s drama-free. Soap operas may be fun to watch on television, but they can make for a miserable life if every decision and conversation between you and the boy you’re with becomes a drama. Find someone who perhaps enjoys watching drama, but doesn’t want to live it!
  • He’s truthful. You can trust his word. He always tells the truth, even in small matters. He’s never caught in a lie about a silly thing, because that isn’t in his character.
  • He’s loving. Not just physically, but emotionally. He speaks words of love and tells you how much he cares for you and how happy he is to be with you—and means it. Words of affection are very important in a loving relationship.

“Love is the most enticing, wonderful, thrilling feeling in the world, and maybe that’s why heartbreak is so very devastating. After that thrilling joyride of ‘what could be,’ sometimes there is the reality of nursing a broken heart. A broken heart is not something I’d wish on anyone, but there is a chance you may experience one in your life. This is why I feel it’s so important to protect your heart as much as possible before marriage. Remember, scripture tells us above all else to guard our hearts.” —Nicole

To read more of Nicole’s tips for finding the right guy, pre-order a copy of her BRAND-NEW book here.

Image: LightStock | Brayden Heath

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2 Comments

  1. USGIRL95

    Posted by USGIRL95 on July 2, 2015 at 20:29

    He has to really mean it by showing his auctions, auctions speak louder than words talking is cheep,. than actually doing it, he wants to spend time with you, for an example not all guys ‘ve facebook nor insgram or twitter, he may not be a phone or texting person either, he’s preying for you, he will give u godly advise, he won’t look at you as an issue + cast you aside leave you hurt, he will answer emails when you send one to him, he loves the Lord more than you, he wants fellowship with you!!, he’s all of the furit of the spirits, he may be quite around other girls,. but you he’s instered into talking with you, he will do things for you if u need that, even without asking you, he will check on you when u re hurt emoitaly or physical, he will scarice his life for you + his faith in Christ, he will hug you, he will hold your hand to make you feel safe, he may do jokes or puns to make you laugh, he will read his Bible, he’s is a repented sinner Bibcal Christian follower of Christ, he won’t ingroe you when he leaves u to go to College to not talk to u cause he made new friends, he will wintess to them, he will comfort you, will grive with you, he will give u space when u need it, he will know you re different he will remain friends with you, not betray u for another friend,
    he will listen what you re saying, he may disagree, with you because he’s a sinner just as you re, he will ask forgiveness, when he sinned against, you, he will tell you his dislikes + likes, he cares about u, loves the Lord,

  2. misty233

    Posted by misty233 on June 22, 2015 at 12:09

    “Learn to be happy alone. If you’re not happy alone, it’s impossible to be happy in a relationship. If you think that it’s lonely being without a boyfriend, that feeling is only multiplied if you find yourself lonely in a bad marriage and stuck—either because you have children with him or you’re against divorce at all costs.”

    Let me say this quote is right on, you really have to be happy single before you can ever be happy with someone else. God is your source of happiness. It is not someone else’s job to come in and “complete” you or be your happiness. The choice to be happy resides in you alone, what you think, what you say, and how you focus. Leaving your happiness in the hands of another person is just ASKING To be let down.
    I have seen many times, over and over, friends of mine say “If i jut had a boyfriend” or “If she would date me” and I have seen them get a boyfriend or date that person then start complaining about what they are doing wrong. “He doesn’t text me enough” or “She was short with me.” translates into “I am not confident in myself and want someone else to approve of me.”
    The honest, brutal, painful truth is that until you are happy on your own with God nothing will ever make you happy. You will always be searching and nothing will come close to the satisfaction of knowing your identity in God and how much HE loves you -over every other person you could ever say loves you.