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Inspiration

The Pact That I Made With My Boyfriend, By PI Girl, Kylie

I am only 16, and I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years. He is also my best friend in this entire world. We are both Christians, and we believe it’s God’s will for us to be together. Over the past two years ,we’ve been in some very trying situations. The only way we’ve made it this far is with the help of God.

We decided the first week we started dating that we would “wait” until marriage. We knew that it was God’s will for us to wait, and we knew how much this would benefit us in the future–whether it be in our relationship or another that God decided would be better for us later on. We decided to take things slow with each other, too.

Being best friends and all, we share everything with each other. We tell each other everything and have so much between us. The only thing we don’t share is the physical part of relationships. Not having this in our relationship makes it easier, but it also makes things harder sometimes.

It’s easier in the way that we don’t have to deal with pregnancy scares, or worrying about getting caught, and most importantly, we are honoring God with our relationship, and being somewhat of an example to others in similar situations.

It’s so hard sometimes in the way that we share everything and we want to share this with each other. It’s hard because we have been together so long that it seems like the “right time.” Of course, we know that it won’t be until we get married.

Ways that we avoid temptations and crossing the line is to never be alone together. We also live 40 minutes apart, so when we are together it’s at church or hanging out with our families at one of our houses. Living far apart is good, but sometimes when we haven’t seen each other in so long, it seems like when we get together the temptation is harder.

We avoid tempting each other by writing down our thoughts that could hurt the other’s walk if shared and putting them into jars that we each have. We will be able to share this with each other when we get married.

It’s exciting to think about what we will have accomplished on our wedding day. We’re excited to know that our decision makes this relationship honorable to God. We’re happy to be set apart from other teenagers, and even though it’s hard, we have God to lean on, and we are able to pray together, knowing that we’re sharing the same frustrations and enduring the same temptations. We aren’t going through this alone.

As individuals, we avoid certain movies or fan pages on Facebook that seem to focus on sex, or pictures that could make us stumble. It’s hard enough without those things. When either of us is having troubles, we can pray for each other, and that’s one of the best things about having a God-centered relationship.

Waiting for sex is very important no matter how much you think you’ll be with that person for the rest of your life. God could do anything with your relationship, whether it be a death of your boyfriend or an unexpected move far away from each other. Saving yourself for marriage will benefit you and your future husband, especially if he waited for his future wife. Sharing that experience with just the two of you, knowing that no one else has shared it with you, will be amazing and more meaningful, too.

Of course, I have no idea how it will be yet, but seeing other couples in my life who have achieved this just gives me all the more motivation to keep on pressing forward, no matter how hard it gets. God has a wonderful plan and he knew what he was doing when he intended sex to be between married people only.

I hope that this is somewhat helpful to anyone who might be in the same sort of situation, and inspiring to someone who hasn’t been here yet. Even if you haven’t saved yourself for that special person, it’s not too late to start over. 🙂

Written by PI Fan, Kylie

Image: Thinkstock | istockphoto

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48 Comments

  1. ChloeJones

    Posted by ChloeJones on July 5, 2017 at 13:04

    So good… SO so good!!

  2. Jesus4life96

    Posted by Jesus4life96 on February 7, 2014 at 13:22

    My boyfriend and I are also waiting until marriage. We are both Straight Edge people, which means no drugs, alcohol, or sex before marriage. But I am actually very proud of that! We try to honor God with our relationship. I have known him for 5 years, and I have grown to love him, but even with that, even though we know we are meant to be, we are still waiting until after we are married.

  3. TheTenthDoctor

    Posted by TheTenthDoctor on January 12, 2013 at 19:53

    Good for you!! (And him!) Thanks for inspiring all of us 🙂

  4. Project Inspired

    Posted by bsfurball on September 3, 2012 at 20:56

    I’ve thought and prayed a lot about this and have decided that there is no specific scriptural basis for not having sex before marriage. Too many people use false scriptures that actually refer to adultery and homosexuality to try and push the “no sex before marriage” argument, but they take those scriptures out of context. ((1 Corinthians 6:18) is used quite often, but if you read the whole chapter, it refers completely to prostitution — a much different and ungodly use of sex than with two people were engaged in a long-term committed relationship).

    That said, I believe it’s a huge physical and emotional activity and should only happen with a strong committed partner and if certain precautions are taken — and the risks and consequences are fully understood. Certainly not in the first few weeks of dating a new partner. The danger with sex comes from doing it out of selfish reasons, however if it’s done in a manner that is completely respectful of the other person and unselfish (like giving a gift but never expecting one in return), it is acceptable in a long-term committed relationship.

    Above all else, honor God in your long-term relationship. Praise him for creating beautiful, attractive, and appealing members of the opposite gender. Give thanks for the gift of a long-term committed relationship with a partner who is willing to love you and shows his/her love toward God in revering you and respecting you completely.

  5. Lillian

    Posted by Lillian on September 3, 2012 at 16:25

    Thank you so much 🙂 My boyfriend and I are in the same boat, and it is very hard at times, thank you because this article has helped us a lot!

  6. Project Inspired

    Posted by Estefany on August 31, 2012 at 17:06

    Yes im with you. Finally someone understands
    Well hope the best for you and your boyfriend

  7. Posted by JennArman on August 30, 2012 at 13:08

    Love the “thought jars” that is an awesome idea! Kylie this article is beautiful and encouraging! I’m so proud of the decisions you’ve made and how you’re sticking to them <3

  8. Project Inspired

    Posted by GirlWhoWaited on August 29, 2012 at 05:51

    Great article! My boyfriend and I agreed to wait when we started dating too.

  9. Project Inspired

    Posted by Bribelle on August 27, 2012 at 15:10

    I love the thoughts in the jar! I also have heard of writing letters to your future husband and letting him read them on your wedding night. I think it’s so sweet 🙂

  10. Shevtrixie

    Posted by Shevtrixie on August 27, 2012 at 09:10

    Such a inspiration.

  11. tomboy_loves_Tigers

    Posted by tomboy_loves_Tigers on August 26, 2012 at 18:42

    This is so sweet <3 I am in a situation extremely similar to this, and I completely agree with this whole article! I think the jar of thoughts is a very good idea, I think I'll try it with my boyfriend. Thanks, Kylie! 🙂

  12. amberfishnets00

    Posted by amberfishnets00 on August 25, 2012 at 23:59

    I REALLY like this article. The jar idea is so adorable. Then when you read the notes after you are married its not sinful anymore and you can enjoy the bond between you and your husband knowing that God approves. Great article!

  13. ruthie27064Him

    Posted by ruthie27064Him on August 25, 2012 at 11:54

    That’s so great! 😀

  14. jordybuglove

    Posted by jordybuglove on August 24, 2012 at 07:40

    I love this article, you and your boyfriend are so amazing for waiting. I have not.had sex, I dont want to until im married. I ounce had a boyfriend that tryed to get me.to and did not respect what I wanted. I broke up with him. God is in my life and I want to live my life by god. I want to wait for that because if you do it before there gos the most special bond you could have with your partner for life

  15. Livelikeurdying

    Posted by Livelikeurdying on August 23, 2012 at 16:10

    Love this article. Totally agree!

  16. leahgrace99

    Posted by leahgrace99 on August 23, 2012 at 05:19

    This article is amazing! I have never dated before ( i am only thirteen) and lots of my friends think that its crazy and really try to pressure me. My parents don’t want me to date and my school has a no dating policy in middle school so I really don’t have an option. I do wear a purity ring on my left ring finger that reminds me to save myself for my future husband. It won’t come off until replaced by a wedding band.

  17. Project Inspired

    Posted by LizzieTep94 on August 22, 2012 at 23:00

    Wow I really liked this article! This really inspires me to do the same when the time comes with my future boyfriend/husband! (I’m also waiting until marriage so that’s also good!) 😀

  18. Project Inspired

    Posted by hugsnkisses0706 on August 22, 2012 at 20:29

    im waiting to date… until the right guy comes…idk all the cute guys in percussion at my marching band are taken or arent Christian… it gets easy to forget that God has a better guy out there for me than those guys that just want one thing only…if u know what i mean! lol

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by hugsnkisses0706 on August 22, 2012 at 20:30

      btw im 16… and like ive never dated before… but this looks seriously good to consider!

  19. Jesus_chick_529

    Posted by Jesus_chick_529 on August 22, 2012 at 19:26

    So inspiring!!!!!! My boyfriend and I are both Catholics are waiting until marriage ourselves. Glad to know there are others like he and I out there. We also live in two different states, jersey and new york. So I’m right there with you!

  20. centrilove

    Posted by centrilove on August 22, 2012 at 18:17

    I like this 🙂

  21. Project Inspired

    Posted by galeprimrue on August 22, 2012 at 17:25

    This is an amazing article! I’ve always told myself I would only date Christians, and people that I feel like God has chosen for me. So, this is exactly what I want my relationship to be like!

    I’m only 14, and I don’t want a boyfriend at the moment, but I will defiantly use this article for support when the time comes!

  22. Project Inspired

    Posted by kyankie on August 22, 2012 at 16:47

    Great article. I personally don’t date, firstly because I feel that at my age it would be the wrong time and secondly because… well, I have no time. I think for me right now that it wouldn’t be right to have a boyfriend because I have many years ahead of me and I don’t think that is what the Lord has for me. But I wish you guys the best.

    Something my youth pastor said once was one way to help yourself stay “on track” is to think of that person you really like as already married. After all, when God made everyone, he also made their match, the person that would sharpen them and encourage them and love them the best. So to avoid flirting and topics that are just too “comfortable”, ask yourself if you would be acting/talking this way if you were both married. 🙂

  23. Project Inspired

    Posted by Anika S on August 22, 2012 at 14:32

    This is amazing!! My boyfriend and I are 17, in a long distance relationship(7 hours) and only see each other every two months. We’ve been dating a little over a year, we are best friends, and it’s only thru the grace of God we manage to make this work but we think its God’s will that we are together. We are also waiting till marriage but like you said its a big temptation when we are finally together again after a couple months of being apart. I’ll be praying for you and your boyfriend because i know how hard it is. Thank you for this amazing article; I can really identify with it.

  24. brennaeskyler2

    Posted by brennaeskyler2 on August 22, 2012 at 13:08

    That’s a great article, Kylie! It’s so inspiring to read that you and your boyfriend are staying pure!

  25. Project Inspired

    Posted by Alexandra on August 22, 2012 at 12:45

    Great article. I love the notes in the jar idea, I will definitely try that when I start dating! 🙂

  26. Project Inspired

    Posted by ASmallRayofSunshine on August 22, 2012 at 10:36

    Do you guys still hold hands and kiss? (Not like full on make-out, but like little pecks on the lips/cheek?)

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by kyliegirl77 on August 22, 2012 at 15:07

      of course we still kiss and hold hands, we’re just careful about it because it could be a tumbling block and we’re trying to be an example and since we’re always at church there are always kids around LOL

  27. Project Inspired

    Posted by sunnyshine17 on August 22, 2012 at 10:01

    I find this very inspirational that there are guys out there like that. I too am going to wait and I wear a promise ring to always remind me of that promise i made to God and myself 🙂

  28. Sarisa

    Posted by Sarisa on August 22, 2012 at 09:52

    I’m also hoping I’m able to be able to make a kind of pact like this with my boyfriend. If I ever get one…

  29. Project Inspired

    Posted by Veronica2012 on August 22, 2012 at 09:44

    This is a great decision that God WILL Bless. I loved the idea of the jar. I have been with my guy for a little over a year now, and we have made this same decision. It can be hard at times, and like you, we share everything-sometimes too much. The jar writings that you spoke of have motivated me to do a better job by coming up with something like that!

  30. Project Inspired

    Posted by claireslover7 on August 22, 2012 at 09:43

    I just love this! I totally agree with you on this. Couples in a relationship should wait. And God says that you have to wait until marriage to be doing that. So I’m so happy that there are still Christians in the world who believe this and it’s such an inspirations for many people! 😀

  31. Project Inspired

    Posted by BeStillAndBreath98 on August 22, 2012 at 09:37

    My youth pastor said the same thing! He said to date publicly and to surround yourself with mature people so you don’t get the feelings that your suppose to save for marriage. Don’t be alone together or do intimate dates. Some of this I might try when I start dating which will prolly be a looonnnggg time from now cause i’m not ready emotionally or spiritually and my dad well… that pretty much answers itself lol i’m his last one and the only one that he has a relationship with so yeah x]

  32. Rachel223

    Posted by Rachel223 on August 22, 2012 at 09:14

    Way to go! My boyfriend and I have made the same pact and we’ve been dating for almost 3 years now. It’s hard at times, but will be worth it in the end. You guys can do it! 🙂

  33. sierra96

    Posted by sierra96 on August 22, 2012 at 06:34

    Wow! This is awesome!!! I am waiting until marriage too! You don’t see many girls like this either so to hear your story about you and your boyfriend is just amazing! and i believe that God does have to be the number one in your life put him over your relationship with guys! For with out him none of this could be possible but with him all thing are possible! A lot of girls don’t believe that you can wait until marriage! But I fully know you can although there are not many girls out there who wait it is possible! And It will pay off when you get married because you know you have saved yourself for him and that you obeyed God! and that is huge! Girls may you see that this is a BIG deal in this would today and the world tells you its okay to have sex b4 marriage and with many guys! Girls wake up and guys!!! We need to be a light in this dark world!! Stay strong girl when temptations come and they will come but ask God for help and look for a door way out and run!!

  34. Project Inspired

    Posted by TheMouseLover on August 22, 2012 at 05:15

    Me and my bf have made the same promise 🙂 I’m only 14, and i also know its God’s will for us to be together! WE have been together for almost a year and a half

  35. IdaPahus

    Posted by IdaPahus on August 22, 2012 at 01:59

    Thanks for posting!

  36. Paris

    Posted by Paris on August 21, 2012 at 20:54

    I love this. I am praying for a great relationship when I start dating the person I’ll marry.

  37. Project Inspired

    Posted by JennaBel on August 21, 2012 at 20:45

    This is amazing, I admire you so much for that pact. That’s an incredibly blessed Godly relationship, that’s really beautiful. I hope I find a relationship that special when I start to date. Amazing, keep that going, girl. 😀

  38. Jesuskissed

    Posted by Jesuskissed on August 21, 2012 at 19:19

    This made my day, I’m so proud of you AND your boyfriend, you have just became an awesome example for me and most likely plenty of other PI Girls! Keep it up <3

  39. HurricaneMurphGirl

    Posted by HurricaneMurphGirl on August 21, 2012 at 19:05

    That was an amazing article, and very well written! Thanks so much for sharing that, as it really encouraged me. Being only 13, I don’t really have to worry about that at the moment. I don’t have any interest in dating right now, but one day I will. And this is what I want my relationship to be like! =)

  40. Project Inspired

    Posted by ArtisianJem on August 21, 2012 at 17:23

    Great Article! (:

  41. jruff88

    Posted by jruff88 on August 21, 2012 at 16:41

    This is so great. I love the thoughts in a jar idea 🙂 you go girl!

  42. hlaluvzjesus

    Posted by hlaluvzjesus on August 21, 2012 at 15:19

    Awesome article 🙂

  43. xJesusLovesYoux

    Posted by xJesusLovesYoux on August 21, 2012 at 14:58

    This is a great article 🙂 I’m with ya, I’m waiting until marriage for that stuff.

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by hugsnkisses0706 on August 22, 2012 at 20:44

      lol this makes me want to get married.. btw im the legal age to marry! 16! yea! i just have to find a boyfriend..lol