Have you seen that new movie? You know, the one about the cute girl and the funny guy who are best friends, but then they both realize they have feelings for each other (luckily at the exact same time), and they both run through a heavy rainstorm to their favorite little coffee shop to confess their undying love for each other.
Wait…that’s pretty much every romantic comedy ever written.
If you’ve ever woken up one day and realized you had a crush on your best guy friend, your story probably was a little different. Movies like that don’t capture the sleepless nights of angst rehearsing what you should say the next time you see him, or that awkward moment when you’re watching a movie and you can’t tell if he inched closer to be near to you or to have better access to the popcorn bucket.
There’s a reason they make movies about falling in love with a great guy friend—it can be a wonderful experience. But before you jump head-first into telling your best bud your feelings, make sure you weigh the pros and cons of dating first.
- He already knows the good, the bad and the ugly. Chances are if you’ve been friends for a while, your friend has already seen you at your worst. You don’t have to worry about him finding out your most embarrassing moment because he already knows.
- You probably share common interests. You wouldn’t be friends if you didn’t already know you could have a great time together. All those common interests that make you great friends could also help you create a long-lasting relationship.
- He’s already a part of your life. He’s already friends with your friends. Your mom loves him, and your dad actually trusts him. Not having to start over from square one has its perks.
- Ending the relationship might end your friendship. Breakups can be hard, and in this instance you might lose a good friend in the process. Dating can be fun, but it might not be worth losing a potential lifelong friendship.
- It might impact other friendships. Finding a balance between spending time with friends and spending time with your boyfriend is important. That can be harder to achieve if you’re all friends already. Plus, it can make getting time apart difficult.
There is no hard-and-fast rule when it comes to dating a friend, but there are a few things you can do to act with wisdom in the situation.
- Give it time. There is no reason to rush into a relationship for any reason. Give yourself some time to process your feelings and pray. Ask yourself if you really like your friend or if you like the idea of dating your friend.
- Be honest. If he’s a true friend, he should be respectful enough to listen to how you are feeling without judgment. Even if he doesn’t feel the same way, you can talk through your feelings and hopefully get through it together.