This Is How Motherhood Strengthened My Faith
Written by Kytia Lamour | April 14, 2018
I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. (John 16:33)
When the worst-case scenario happens to you, it can really shake your faith. I remember waking up the morning after I had a miscarriage and asking, “God, how could You let this happen? What did I do to deserve this? I’ve been obedient to you practically all of my life!” Having walked through the shadow of the valley of death, it felt like anything and everything bad could still happen to me despite being a faithful Christian. What was the point of trust? What was the point of obedience? Where was my protection? Where was the fulfillment of my prayers to be a mother?
It took me around six months after this event to come to terms with the fact that we live in a fallen world and unfortunately bad things are bound to happen to us. God even promises that we will have many troubles in this world, but to take heart because He has overcome the world. That startling reality never sunk in until I heard story after story of friends and family who had suffered miscarriages and other life-altering trials. At this point, I was at a crossroads. Was I going to walk away from God or would I still trust Him with my entire mind, body and spirit?
In life we can choose to feed our fears or feed our faith.
Once I conceived again, I made it my purpose to live in hope. To let God know that whatever happened, I would still live for Him and have joy. After all, worry added nothing to my life. Even if I were to have another miscarriage, living day after day in paranoia wasn’t going to change anything. Instead, I read the Bible and kept revisiting a devotional that reminded me of God’s promises in pregnancy and motherhood. I also searched for testimonies of other mothers who had gone through this and came out on the other side with healthy children.
Even when close friends or family members would tell me, “Don’t get too excited; wait until your first trimester is over,” I would boldly tell them, “I’m going to stay excited because pregnancy is a blessing and my baby is going to be fine.” There was no doubt that God would come through for me and it didn’t matter what anyone said that was contrary to that fact. Even the notion that you can be “in the clear” about anything is deceptive and it puts your trust in time instead of God. There are children who are stillborn even though the entire pregnancy was healthy. There are also children who are deemed destined for death or illness who are born perfectly healthy.
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. (James 4:7)
As a whole, going through the journey of pregnancy made me rely on God in such a huge way because the battle of my mind didn’t stop. The enemy will use every memory against you and every scare tactic that works. Resist him and he will flee. If he knows that those reminders and intimidation don’t work anymore, he runs from that area.
I don’t think I was ever so scared as I was the day I brought my daughter home from the hospital. Seeing her innocence and complete reliance on me and my husband was almost too much for me to handle emotionally. I had irrational fears that something terrible would happen to her because (let’s be honest) this world is crazy. Every story of a kidnapped child or a caretaker caught on camera abusing a baby struck terror in the pit of my stomach. Again: Was I going to feed my fears or feed my faith?
I learned quickly that there were certain blogs, forums and news outlets I had to avoid in order to stay centered in my walk with God. Family, friends and strangers giving discouraging unsolicited advice or assuming I was doing everything wrong had to be prayed against or avoided altogether. It was up to me and my husband to guard ourselves and our baby against criticisms and stress.
As my daughter has gotten older, I make sure to speak life over her when someone says she’s spoiled because she’s crying. I’ve covered her in affection the same way our Heavenly Father does for us, even though according to some articles it means I’m ruining her independence. It’s important that I’ve been able to stand my ground and take instruction from God because there’s no way to see ten years down the line how my actions will affect her. Only God knows, so that’s the only voice that really matters. She’s growing into a healthy, intelligent, independent and compassionate little girl, and I give all glory to God and thank Him for the people along the way who have been supportive to us in this journey, because it’s difficult to go through any new phase alone.
No matter what changes you’re going through, it’s imperative that you lean into God and ask Him what to do. There are some traumatic events you think you’ll never have the strength to recover from. I promise you—with God, all things are possible. Keep reminding yourself of His promises to be with you always. Even in a sinful world where disaster strikes, it is possible to grow daily in your faith. Stay grounded in encouraging relationships, avoid the fear-inciting news the world has to offer, and remember the Word that is alive and able to transform you.
We’d love to hear from you! How has God strengthened you through trials you thought might be the end of your faith?